grrrrr are u kidding me - Forum

Kit
National star

Kit wrote:
yea i'm back on my complaining-about-my-friends bullshit !

ok so the 3 of us were gonna have dinner together but one of my friends had sm recording to do for a podcast to do from lke 6-8 so we were gonna wait for him and have a later dinner ? he also said he'd pick up garlic bread on the way home

then at like 7 he texts to let us know he's gonna be late and can't make it, bc he's gonna go out for bubble tea w the dude who he's recording with and is just like. "oh i won't make it hahaha bubble tea for me tho" which .....

idk maybe i'm overthinking it but it just felt rly insensitive considering like ? we'd made plans ? and he was canceling them to go hang out w someone else & he didn't even like ? briefly apologize ?

so i texted him just being like "hey it's rly not a big deal or anything but perhaps next time you cancel dinner plans w us an hour in advance you could at least say sorry ? it feels pretty bad to be a backup plan and have you not even apologize when you cancel" and he ignored me fr 2 hours and then got SUPER MAD ? like

am i crazy ?

Kit
National star

Kit wrote:
the actual conversation :

me: hey not to start shit & its not really a big deal, i just wanted to let u know that if you wanna cancel dinner plans an hour beforehand an apology would be real appreciated tbh. shit happens ofc but it doesn’t feel good to feel like a backup plan & especially not when you’re just laughing about it & enjoying your bubble tea.
me: anyway have fun and say hi to luc !

friend: I was pretty hurt when I read this
friend: You have read me as being very shallow and purposefully antagonising you in the gc or something
friend: Whilst I laugh at making you not have garlic bread
friend: I understand how you misunderstood me though
friend: I was texting in a rush, mid recording. Luc surprised us with an offer to get us tea and so, the very moment I knew that, I thought I should let you know
friend: OVER an hour before dinner, seeing as i would not have been back till 8:30 anyway (possibly later)
friend: I was flattered you would have both waited for me, but I didnt ask you to
friend: But you offered, so I accepted
friend: I find it hard to get my head around you being annoyed at a FULL HOURS heads uo
friend: up*
friend: When, to choose one of hundreds of examples
friend: [other friend] is allowed to just ghost you mid-convo. Does she get the same scolding treatment>
friend: ?*
friend: Somehow, I doubt it
friend: You really pissed me off [my name]
friend: Laughing at you, I mean come on! a little "ahaha" was thrown on because i felt so awkward
friend: about cancelling
friend: sure, i forgot to write out a full apology but come on!

me: [ re: the purposefully antagonizing text ] ok well that’s not what i meant or said and i’m sorry it came off that way

friend: yeah we've both misread one another tongith
friend: and im really annoyed because i know that im, like, responding to your response in the same way, not really fully understanding the meaning behind what you said
friend: which now is unfair for you

me: i really didn’t mean to come off as scolding, it was just a lil upsetting to not get a little “sorry btw” considering i felt like there had been plans made but i may have misunderstood that too

friend: i really just didnt feel like i needed to give one, honesetly
friend: i kinda felt like it was implied somehow
friend: clearly i was rushed, idk
friend: not clearly, clearly
friend: im just going to have a sulk now
friend: because we have both not really done anything wrong we just read too much into texts
friend: which is annoying

me: yeah get some rest

Kit
National star

Kit wrote:
someone validate me bc i honestly am struggling to wrap my head around how he reacted this poorly ? like it really genuinely wasn't a big deal i just wanted to let him know that it's. yknow. polite to apologize at least and he's acting like i'm the one pissing him off ???? pulling that "well you don't do this to our other friend" bullshit when like ? i don't fucking HAVE TO because when she falls asleep for 2 hours and accidentally ghosts me she fucking apologizes afterwards ? jesus

Kit
National star

Kit wrote:
anyway this def didn't keep me up for 2 hours last night when i had an early start this morning and it's definitely not going to continue giving me intense anxiety until i break out in hives while he sulks and ignores me despite beign my next door neighbor .. oh no not that at all

Private
Youtube star

Limbs wrote:
um yeah that's a shitty move on his part. you don't just ditch plans because you got a better offer wtf

Heyitsaada
National star

heyitsaada wrote:
yeah you definitely are in the right here, imo. i mean, apologizing for canceling plans, no matter how early or late that happens, is the polite thing to do and you shouldn't get angry if you get called out for not doing that wtf

Kit
National star

Kit wrote:

Limbs wrote:
um yeah that's a shitty move on his part. you don't just ditch plans because you got a better offer wtf

yeah like. upon reflection we maybe could have figured out that he would probably not be on time bc his thing would drag on and luc (the friend he was hanging out w) is like. a puppy who just rly wants friends around so it makes sense they'd hang out afterwards

but like he coulda known that too and not accepted our dinner offer ? idk it's mess

Kit
National star

Kit wrote:

heyitsaada wrote:
yeah you definitely are in the right here, imo. i mean, apologizing for canceling plans, no matter how early or late that happens, is the polite thing to do and you shouldn't get angry if you get called out for not doing that wtf

thank u hkfjdskl honestly i have 2 friends and he's generally the voice of reason so when he gets Like This i .... honestly cannot get perspective u kno

Account deleted

wrote:
Who td cancels 1hour before bc they will be 30mins late when u already have postponed to eat a later dinner, lmaofff for bubbletea. Is ur friend real
And was supposed to bring a part of the meal like...

Account deleted

wrote:

Nesta wrote:
Who td cancels 1hour before bc they will be 30mins late when u already have postponed to eat a later dinner, lmaofff for bubbletea. Is ur friend real
And was supposed to bring a part of the meal like...

And then say they didn't do anything wrong bc you misread each other?? That's not even tje fking issue thqt started it

Kit
National star

Kit wrote:

Nesta wrote:

Nesta wrote:
Who td cancels 1hour before bc they will be 30mins late when u already have postponed to eat a later dinner, lmaofff for bubbletea. Is ur friend real
And was supposed to bring a part of the meal like...

And then say they didn't do anything wrong bc you misread each other?? That's not even tje fking issue thqt started it

EXACTLY ugh. his whole "we both havent done anything wrong here" like ??????? idk

its not the canceling plans
it's not the lack of apology & general shitty attitude
it's the combination canceling plans and lack of apology & general shitty attitude

Private
Popstar

ouch wrote:
I think its weird to ask ppl to apologize,

Kit
National star

Kit wrote:

ouch wrote:
I think its weird to ask ppl to apologize,

yah that's fair idk. wasn't really saying "you should say sorry right now" so much as like. "the fact that you didn't, and don't think you need to, was kinda hurtful"

but i can see how that wld be received poorly

Private
Popstar

ouch wrote:

Kit wrote:

ouch wrote:
I think its weird to ask ppl to apologize,

yah that's fair idk. wasn't really saying "you should say sorry right now" so much as like. "the fact that you didn't, and don't think you need to, was kinda hurtful"

but i can see how that wld be received poorly

Yes I think its more abt that, if he doesn't feel the need to say sorry for it it doesn't help to ask him to say sorry either, idk both r just, weird

Kit
National star

Kit wrote:

ouch wrote:

Kit wrote:

ouch wrote:
I think its weird to ask ppl to apologize,

yah that's fair idk. wasn't really saying "you should say sorry right now" so much as like. "the fact that you didn't, and don't think you need to, was kinda hurtful"

but i can see how that wld be received poorly

Yes I think its more abt that, if he doesn't feel the need to say sorry for it it doesn't help to ask him to say sorry either, idk both r just, weird

yeah im ean if he really doesn't feel like he has anything to apologize for after this he's .... just like very much not the person i thought he was tbh.

like idk i'll apologize for plenty of shit. i'm def also at fault here. i should have waited and not texted him immediately, i should've edited my text so my tone didn't come off as scolding, i shouldn't have assumed he'd make it on time when i could have known that he wouldn't & i'm sorry for all those things. like i was already apologizing in the same conversation where he's insisting he has nothing 2 apologize for idk

its just weird idk i really thought he was . more sensitive and reasonable than this i guess

Private
Popstar

ouch wrote:

Kit wrote:

ouch wrote:

Kit wrote:

yah that's fair idk. wasn't really saying "you should say sorry right now" so much as like. "the fact that you didn't, and don't think you need to, was kinda hurtful"

but i can see how that wld be received poorly

Yes I think its more abt that, if he doesn't feel the need to say sorry for it it doesn't help to ask him to say sorry either, idk both r just, weird

yeah im ean if he really doesn't feel like he has anything to apologize for after this he's .... just like very much not the person i thought he was tbh.

like idk i'll apologize for plenty of shit. i'm def also at fault here. i should have waited and not texted him immediately, i should've edited my text so my tone didn't come off as scolding, i shouldn't have assumed he'd make it on time when i could have known that he wouldn't & i'm sorry for all those things. like i was already apologizing in the same conversation where he's insisting he has nothing 2 apologize for idk

its just weird idk i really thought he was . more sensitive and reasonable than this i guess

Not everyone sensitive