hutsu wrote:kalypso wrote:kalypso wrote:
hm idk, but saying that sounds more like you are putting it on them, and not yourself if that makes sense?
I dont know how to explain it, but when you say to someone 'im sorry i did something that made YOU feel like this', you are not really saying sorry for your actions, but saying sorry for that your actions made the person sad. You are not really admitting that u did something wrong, but that it's on them that they are sad.
I definitely dont think that was ur intention at all tho, because this is how a lot of people apologize, but that is maybe what made the person frustrated.
either way I dont think it's okay to be mad at someone and then not tell them what their problem is.
i really appreciate you writing this because it actually clears this up for me a lot better. or at least i suppose this is something similar to what goes on in his head too. he's never been able to pinpoint the thought process in a way i'd actually be able to get a grasp of what exactly feels, but i think the way you explained it kinda opened the whole thing for me.
like i'm not claiming that i'm not being an asshole here, and though replies like snus's might be accurate they don't help me see the reasoning. and i find it incredibly difficult (and somewhat pointless)to change something in myself if i don't understand what the problem is. and like you said i never ever wanted to imply any of the things you pointed out. conclusion: i was kinda being a dick but it wasn't intentional
exactly!