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Tw 4 da suicidal
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
Is it hard to imagine that there r ppl who haven't even had the thought at least cross their mind 

Like even if u weren't actually going to do it 4 reel all ppm have at least had a fleeting "I want to die" thought right

To think not all ppl experience that

How weird
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 15-02-2021 04:22
Six
Karaoke Star



Six wrote:
i think a lot of ppl have had "i wish i could die" go through their head
and i remember being emo and 12 and looking at scissors and knowing people do that kind of thing but knowing i could never

am i allowed to say this on VP
8
Posts: 2137
Date: 15-02-2021 04:32
Private
Youtube Star



Limbs wrote:
it's more difficult for me to imagine living without depression, like being functional and being somewhat happy / ok. i just can't imagine that. suicidal thoughts for me feel more abnormal even if they're common for me
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 15-02-2021 05:30
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
Six wrote:
i think a lot of ppl have had "i wish i could die" go through their head
and i remember being emo and 12 and looking at scissors and knowing people do that kind of thing but knowing i could never

am i allowed to say this on VP
Idk I mean deep down I was too scared to die but i thought about it a lot 

Its actually kinda comforting like 

Even if I wont, it's an option and it makes me feel safe knowing if I felt like I had to, it's there 

But I would never, so in a way it doesnt feel like being genuinely suicidal 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 15-02-2021 09:43
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Six wrote:
i think a lot of ppl have had "i wish i could die" go through their head
and i remember being emo and 12 and looking at scissors and knowing people do that kind of thing but knowing i could never

am i allowed to say this on VP
Idk I mean deep down I was too scared to die but i thought about it a lot 

Its actually kinda comforting like 

Even if I wont, it's an option and it makes me feel safe knowing if I felt like I had to, it's there 

But I would never, so in a way it doesnt feel like being genuinely suicidal 
It's like a fantasy, I never really wanted to die, but I didnt want to be living the life I was living and i felt helpless so i could imagine it and feel better 

I just always thought everyone was the same maybe not
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 15-02-2021 09:45
Private
National Star



GvcciGoddess wrote:
YES its so weird to me that there are ppl who are never suicidal. Like everytime something happens to me or im just feeling sad the thought “well i could just kill myself” pops into my head automatically. Every time im at a follow up/check up psychiatric appointment and they ask me if i have or have had any suicidal thoughts recently im always like “well yeah ofc” and they always start talking abt how thats very concerning etc and im always just like “well thats just normal to me idk its like not even a big deal its not like im actually actively planning on doing it” like its just an option/solution that my brain jumps to but like ive already decided im not gonna kill myself. Like i saw the aftermath of my suicide attempt at 15 and how much of an impact it had on ppl around me and that made me dead set on never killing myself but that doesnt mean those thoughts just magically go away 
18
Posts: 5877
Date: 15-02-2021 10:04
Private
International Star



uhyre wrote:
every time i have a migraine i curl up and wish to die immediately, its a way of life
17
Posts: 28887
Date: 15-02-2021 10:09
Sweetsixteen
Youtube Star



sweetsixteen wrote:
sometimes it makes sense to die and it feels like the right thing at the moment but I'm so afraid of death 
9
Posts: 51
Date: 15-02-2021 11:30
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
GvcciGoddess wrote:
YES its so weird to me that there are ppl who are never suicidal. Like everytime something happens to me or im just feeling sad the thought “well i could just kill myself” pops into my head automatically. Every time im at a follow up/check up psychiatric appointment and they ask me if i have or have had any suicidal thoughts recently im always like “well yeah ofc” and they always start talking abt how thats very concerning etc and im always just like “well thats just normal to me idk its like not even a big deal its not like im actually actively planning on doing it” like its just an option/solution that my brain jumps to but like ive already decided im not gonna kill myself. Like i saw the aftermath of my suicide attempt at 15 and how much of an impact it had on ppl around me and that made me dead set on never killing myself but that doesnt mean those thoughts just magically go away 
Yeah that's the difference between passive and active ideation. What did they say after you told them you dont have a plan? Do they still find it concerning?

This topic was inspired by casually talking w/ my manager about our edgy teen phases. I said I was so dramatic I never believed I would make it to my mid twenties. Maybe I'd even kill myself by 18, yet my emo friends and I who thought that stuff are still around. 

He didnt seem to think that was average edgy teen stuff. He said hes never been suicidal. Like... not even a fleeting "I wish I could run into traffic" thought w/o a plan? Idk I felt awkward dismissing it casually after he seemed to think it was abnormal 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 15-02-2021 18:26
Private
International Star



Ataraxia wrote:
every time i drive over a brigde or through a tunnel i always get butterflies in my stomach thinking of just yeeting the car into the wall or over the railing. i dont drive much anymore lmao
19
Posts: 4820
Date: 15-02-2021 18:29
Private
World Famous



Rotte wrote:
Limbs wrote:
it's more difficult for me to imagine living without depression, like being functional and being somewhat happy / ok. i just can't imagine that. suicidal thoughts for me feel more abnormal even if they're common for me
For sure, i think this cross my mind more 
21
Posts: 70327
Date: 15-02-2021 18:30
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
I joke abt suicide 24/7 even when I don't actually want to die but it's so annoying when someone comes like thats not funny suicide is serious!!!!! Like imagine not even being allowed to joke about your own struggles cant relate
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 15-02-2021 18:32
Private
World Famous



Ground wrote:
i've deffo wanted to die but instead of acting out those thoughts i used self harm as an alternative to express my pain
luckily i'm soon 3 years self harm free n i'm doing rly good mentally most of the time!!
right diagnosis n medicin rly did the trick for me !! (n lots of work with myself as well!)
23
Posts: 19035
Date: 15-02-2021 18:33
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
either way i once became suicide then i wasn't able to shake it now everyone views me as fragile and worthless
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 15-02-2021 18:35
Sweethoney
Streetmusician



Sweethoney wrote:
It's against the rules to discuss suicide. You can read the rules HERE

Mental Health
Virtual Popstar aims to be a welcoming environment for everyone. While we understand discussion of mental health cannot be avoided, we do not allow for it to be done in an injurious manner. Therefore, it is not allowed to discuss suicide or make suicide threats, discuss or diagnose other’s mental health, or make speculations on a user’s diagnosis on threads. 
7
Posts: 1515
Date: 15-02-2021 18:37
Private
Popstar



ouch wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
I joke abt suicide 24/7 even when I don't actually want to die but it's so annoying when someone comes like thats not funny suicide is serious!!!!! Like imagine not even being allowed to joke about your own struggles cant relate
Yeah
16
Posts: 95522
Date: 15-02-2021 18:44
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