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i messed up
Hutsu
National Star



hutsu wrote:
i lost it and screamed at my ex for like 10 minutes and then threw the remote control to the wall and i feel so fucking bad for being like this

silver lining i was screaming because he started provoking me bc i wouldn't apologise for something that was obviously his own fault. i just wish he'd accept me not letting him walk all over me without making me lose my mind


idk i'd really appreciate some tips to calming down
13
Posts: 2313
Date: 24-02-2021 20:40
Astraia
National Star



astraia wrote:
I'm really bad at giving advice but you shouldn't feel bad about being like that. you shouldn't  have to apologise for something that wasn't your fault and I think you did the right thing by not letting him win like that.  as for tips to calm down, I'm still looking for tips for myself haha so I'm sorry
11
Posts: 82
Date: 24-02-2021 20:45
Private
Popstar



autism wrote:
theres nothing bad on screaming and throwing stuff. If someone provokes you what the fuck do they expect. Honestly I have no idea how to calm down I usually just go for a cig and stim and try to focus on something else but maybe those weird breathing exercises could help
19
Posts: 44004
Date: 24-02-2021 20:45
Private
Youtube Star



Delusion1111111 wrote:
u have nothing to feel bad abt. what do u feel bad abt ? having a reaction after being pushed to the edge? whats that quote thts like 'ur having a normal response to an abnormal situation' . something like that lol. i would repeat that to myself when i would feel guilty and ashamed abt behaving in very umm...uncharacteristic ways at the end of my last relationship, which was toxic n abusive, as is urs i think. i dont really have any tips on how to calm down or anything but i just wanted to remind u not to b too harsh on urself. im sorry ur going thru this
13
Posts: 6348
Date: 24-02-2021 20:52
Private
World Famous



Claire wrote:
Wtf are you guys on there’s nothing wrong with throwing a stuff?!?! It’s literally abusive behavior to throw shit like that. 
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 24-02-2021 20:53
Private
World Famous



Claire wrote:
Girl you gotta move out. Shouldn’t be living with an ex that youve got so much toxics going both ways with. Can you move in with a relative for a while. 
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 24-02-2021 20:54
Private
Youtube Star



Delusion1111111 wrote:
Claire wrote:
Wtf are you guys on there’s nothing wrong with throwing a stuff?!?! It’s literally abusive behavior to throw shit like that. 
in a normal situation yh of course but if someone is subjecting u to like relentless emotional abuse i think its somewhat understandable to lose it
13
Posts: 6348
Date: 24-02-2021 20:55
Private
World Famous



Claire wrote:
Delusion1111111 wrote:
Claire wrote:
Wtf are you guys on there’s nothing wrong with throwing a stuff?!?! It’s literally abusive behavior to throw shit like that. 
in a normal situation yh of course but if someone is subjecting u to like relentless emotional abuse i think its somewhat understandable to lose it
We gotta clarify about that lmao just straight up “nothing wrong with that” end of sentence is scary bad advice giving 
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 24-02-2021 20:57
Private
World Famous



Claire wrote:
I think the key for you is getting out of there. Learn how to control that anger under more normal circumstances and get out of this situation ASAP. If you’re close to reacting like this leave the room. Spend a night at a friends place. Remove yourself from the situation 
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 24-02-2021 21:02
Private
World Famous



Claire wrote:
Minimal contact and communication with him. Stop trying to hang out with him for example. Don’t ask him to do chores. Nothing. Focus on getting yourself away and out. 
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 24-02-2021 21:04
Private
International Star



Raquelle wrote:
Taking a good shower helps me calm down
and watching or listening to something
execising or muscle relaxing
Having control over something
20
Posts: 39262
Date: 24-02-2021 21:05
Hutsu
National Star



hutsu wrote:
one of my younger alters fronted and apologised imo very sincerely but he said it's not good enough for him and still wouldn't put the movie on (they were supposed to continue watching something together). i feel kinda sick, he just repeatedly told me that i need to go away to calm down regardless of the alter basically begging for him to put the movie on so that we could calm down watching it. idk man he tells my alters that he'll be there for them even though we're breaking up and then tells them that he doesn't care about us anymore. i won't talk to him anymore tonight, i have my phone, laptop and a glass of water in the bedroom with me so i'll probably just cry for a while and make a list about what i need to pack up so that i can leave later 
13
Posts: 2313
Date: 24-02-2021 21:07
Private
World Famous



Claire wrote:
hutsu wrote:
one of my younger alters fronted and apologised imo very sincerely but he said it's not good enough for him and still wouldn't put the movie on (they were supposed to continue watching something together). i feel kinda sick, he just repeatedly told me that i need to go away to calm down regardless of the alter basically begging for him to put the movie on so that we could calm down watching it. idk man he tells my alters that he'll be there for them even though we're breaking up and then tells them that he doesn't care about us anymore. i won't talk to him anymore tonight, i have my phone, laptop and a glass of water in the bedroom with me so i'll probably just cry for a while and make a list about what i need to pack up so that i can leave later 
you (all of you) need to stop trying to watch movies and interact with him. you brokeup because you felt he was abusive so why are you trying to be his friend. 
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 24-02-2021 21:13
Hutsu
National Star



hutsu wrote:
Claire wrote:
Minimal contact and communication with him. Stop trying to hang out with him for example. Don’t ask him to do chores. Nothing. Focus on getting yourself away and out. 
i guess he leaves me no choices, i hate the thought of basically giving in and letting him have the flat while i sleep on someone's sofa

it's so hard to accept that everything he says when things are calm (and he's not on amphetamines) just vanish when his mood changes. and like i really wanted to give him a chance to be around the others for a while still but idk

i'm scared i just can't bring myself to leave 
13
Posts: 2313
Date: 24-02-2021 21:14
Private
World Famous



Claire wrote:
hutsu wrote:
Claire wrote:
Minimal contact and communication with him. Stop trying to hang out with him for example. Don’t ask him to do chores. Nothing. Focus on getting yourself away and out. 
i guess he leaves me no choices, i hate the thought of basically giving in and letting him have the flat while i sleep on someone's sofa

it's so hard to accept that everything he says when things are calm (and he's not on amphetamines) just vanish when his mood changes. and like i really wanted to give him a chance to be around the others for a while still but idk

i'm scared i just can't bring myself to leave 
how is leaving a toxic situation letting anyone win

youre losing by sticking around
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 24-02-2021 21:14
Hutsu
National Star



hutsu wrote:
Claire wrote:
hutsu wrote:
one of my younger alters fronted and apologised imo very sincerely but he said it's not good enough for him and still wouldn't put the movie on (they were supposed to continue watching something together). i feel kinda sick, he just repeatedly told me that i need to go away to calm down regardless of the alter basically begging for him to put the movie on so that we could calm down watching it. idk man he tells my alters that he'll be there for them even though we're breaking up and then tells them that he doesn't care about us anymore. i won't talk to him anymore tonight, i have my phone, laptop and a glass of water in the bedroom with me so i'll probably just cry for a while and make a list about what i need to pack up so that i can leave later 
you (all of you) need to stop trying to watch movies and interact with him. you brokeup because you felt he was abusive so why are you trying to be his friend. 
because we love him and idk this is probably stupid but he's been the first person my other parts have opened up to and some of them have had some pretty incredible moments together. it's really hard to let go of that, especially for the younger parts who don't know everything that's happened between us etc
13
Posts: 2313
Date: 24-02-2021 21:16
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