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plz help me word this for my essay
Private
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Xenya wrote:
so I'm writing about domestic violence 
but idk how to phrase this 
I'm so rubbish at writing 

i'm trying to say

perpetrators of abuse can pose a risk to society because their abuse traits 
will continue with other ppl who they are in a relationship with
but it is important to make assumptions that this will happen in all their relationships 

idk 
how do i put this in a concise sentence???


I'll give u credits for ur help
20
Posts: 19298
Date: 03-04-2021 17:58
Private
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wug wrote:
In just one sentence??
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 03-04-2021 18:01
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Xenya wrote:
maybe 2 
it doesnt matter
i just want to make it concise 
20
Posts: 19298
Date: 03-04-2021 18:02
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Rotte wrote:
Xenya wrote:
so I'm writing about domestic violence 
but idk how to phrase this 
I'm so rubbish at writing 

i'm trying to say

perpetrators of abuse can pose a risk to society because their abusive traits 
Can continue Into their personal relationships
it is important to make the assumption that this will happen in all their relationships thought

idk 
how do i put this in a concise sentence???


I'll give u credits for ur help

I would word it something like this, but I'm sure someone have a better wording.
21
Posts: 70325
Date: 03-04-2021 18:05
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emogirrrl123 wrote:
It is important to note that perpetrstors of abuse pose a risk of continuing their abusice behaviors in their future relationships
18
Posts: 13181
Date: 03-04-2021 18:06
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emogirrrl123 wrote:
And therefore blahblah

If you want to continue 
18
Posts: 13181
Date: 03-04-2021 18:07
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Rotte wrote:
Sera wrote:
It is important to note that perpetrstors of abuse pose a risk of continuing their abusice behaviors in their future relationships
Yea that
21
Posts: 70325
Date: 03-04-2021 18:08
Private
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wug wrote:
Sera wrote:
It is important to note that perpetrstors of abuse pose a risk of continuing their abusice behaviors in their future relationships
To retain the "potentially" aspect of it I'd wrote potentially before pose a risk as it's not 100% certain it will occur but it certainly could 
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 03-04-2021 18:08
Private
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emogirrrl123 wrote:
Snusmumrikken wrote:
Sera wrote:
It is important to note that perpetrstors of abuse pose a risk of continuing their abusice behaviors in their future relationships
To retain the "potentially" aspect of it I'd wrote potentially before pose a risk as it's not 100% certain it will occur but it certainly could 
Yes, teachers love thst
18
Posts: 13181
Date: 03-04-2021 18:09
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wug wrote:
Sera wrote:
Snusmumrikken wrote:
Sera wrote:
It is important to note that perpetrstors of abuse pose a risk of continuing their abusice behaviors in their future relationships
To retain the "potentially" aspect of it I'd wrote potentially before pose a risk as it's not 100% certain it will occur but it certainly could 
Yes, teachers love thst
Yes
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 03-04-2021 18:11
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Xenya wrote:
Snusmumrikken wrote:
Sera wrote:
It is important to note that perpetrstors of abuse pose a risk of continuing their abusice behaviors in their future relationships
To retain the "potentially" aspect of it I'd wrote potentially before pose a risk as it's not 100% certain it will occur but it certainly could 
thanks you that's perfect 


is this okay?

It is important to note that perpetrators of abuse can potentially continue their abusive behaviours in their future relationships, therefore posing a risk to the rest of society. They are likely to have a family history of abuse and psychological trauma etc. and will need support to manage their behaviour (6).  
20
Posts: 19298
Date: 03-04-2021 18:12
Private
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wug wrote:
Xenya wrote:
Snusmumrikken wrote:
Sera wrote:
It is important to note that perpetrstors of abuse pose a risk of continuing their abusice behaviors in their future relationships
To retain the "potentially" aspect of it I'd wrote potentially before pose a risk as it's not 100% certain it will occur but it certainly could 
thanks you that's perfect 


is this okay?

It is important to note that perpetrators of abuse can potentially continue their abusive behaviours in their future relationships, therefore posing a risk to the rest of society. They are likely to have a family history of abuse and psychological trauma etc. and will need support to manage their behaviour (6).  
I'd avoid using etc. if you are able to, even if the intention of it is good it is likely they'll be like hmm.. why didn't you include more? If you don't have to include more you should stop rather than include it. 
Also, in that sentence, if you count the et in etc. there are three instances of 'and' very close to each other, if you can do something about it, please do. 
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 03-04-2021 18:17
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Xenya wrote:
Snusmumrikken wrote:
Xenya wrote:
Snusmumrikken wrote:
To retain the "potentially" aspect of it I'd wrote potentially before pose a risk as it's not 100% certain it will occur but it certainly could 
thanks you that's perfect 


is this okay?

It is important to note that perpetrators of abuse can potentially continue their abusive behaviours in their future relationships, therefore posing a risk to the rest of society. They are likely to have a family history of abuse and psychological trauma etc. and will need support to manage their behaviour (6).  
I'd avoid using etc. if you are able to, even if the intention of it is good it is likely they'll be like hmm.. why didn't you include more? If you don't have to include more you should stop rather than include it. 
Also, in that sentence, if you count the et in etc. there are three instances of 'and' very close to each other, if you can do something about it, please do. 

how does this sound?

Perpetrators of abuse can potentially continue their abusive behaviours in their future relationships, therefore posing a risk to the rest of the community. Perpetrators are also likely to have a history
of psychological trauma and will need support to manage their behaviour. 
20
Posts: 19298
Date: 03-04-2021 18:23
Private
International star



wug wrote:
Xenya wrote:
Snusmumrikken wrote:
Xenya wrote:
thanks you that's perfect 


is this okay?

It is important to note that perpetrators of abuse can potentially continue their abusive behaviours in their future relationships, therefore posing a risk to the rest of society. They are likely to have a family history of abuse and psychological trauma etc. and will need support to manage their behaviour (6).  
I'd avoid using etc. if you are able to, even if the intention of it is good it is likely they'll be like hmm.. why didn't you include more? If you don't have to include more you should stop rather than include it. 
Also, in that sentence, if you count the et in etc. there are three instances of 'and' very close to each other, if you can do something about it, please do. 

how does this sound?

Perpetrators of abuse can potentially continue their abusive behaviours in their future relationships, therefore posing a risk to the rest of the community. Perpetrators are also likely to have a history
of psychological trauma and will need support to manage their behaviour. 
Better, but if you're able to avoid starting both sentences with perpetrators it's going to be even better. 
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 03-04-2021 18:30
Kalypso
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kalypso wrote:
the linguist to rescue  
18
Posts: 20181
Date: 03-04-2021 18:33
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wug wrote:
kalypso wrote:
the linguist to rescue  
This isn't linguistics mate 
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 03-04-2021 18:34
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