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things I wasn't expecting today
Private
World famous



Barbarella wrote:
to see a psych today and come out of the session with a bipolar diagnosis
oh 

well then
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 06-04-2021 21:21
Private
Popstar



ouch wrote:
Hmm
16
Posts: 95491
Date: 06-04-2021 21:22
Private
World famous



Claire wrote:
how do you feel about it?

what were you expecting? 
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 06-04-2021 21:23
Entheos
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Entheos wrote:
Hi sweetness I’m bipolar 2 so if you ever have any questions or just need to talk to someone who understands don’t hesitate to PM me! It was definitely hard for me to accept at first as well and I actually went and got a second and third opinion. 
16
Posts: 219
Date: 06-04-2021 21:24
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Barbarella wrote:
Claire wrote:
how do you feel about it?

what were you expecting? 
I was expecting ADHD but when I mentioned it being episodic and my just, emotional outbursts and loss of filter she said it sounded more like bipolar and is easing me into a mood stabilizer.

she even said when I'm stable she'd write a letter to the school board to see if I could get my substitute teaching certificate back bc it's very likely the thing that got me fired was an episode I couldn't control
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 06-04-2021 21:32
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Barbarella wrote:
Strawbee wrote:
Hi sweetness I’m bipolar 2 so if you ever have any questions or just need to talk to someone who understands don’t hesitate to PM me! It was definitely hard for me to accept at first as well and I actually went and got a second and third opinion. 
She didn't give me a 1 or 2, not sure why. I meant to ask but I was kinda in shock.
It's common for them to leave it vague though because you have to have a diagnosis on the first visit for medicaid insurance to cover psychiatry in the US, so perhaps I'll find out which one later.

I wish my next therapy session wasn't a week later tho cuz I kinda just get to sit with this for a while lol
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 06-04-2021 21:34
Private
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Claire wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Claire wrote:
how do you feel about it?

what were you expecting? 
I was expecting ADHD but when I mentioned it being episodic and my just, emotional outbursts and loss of filter she said it sounded more like bipolar and is easing me into a mood stabilizer.

she even said when I'm stable she'd write a letter to the school board to see if I could get my substitute teaching certificate back bc it's very likely the thing that got me fired was an episode I couldn't control
woahhhh 
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 06-04-2021 21:36
Private
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Claire wrote:
that ccan be very stressful when you start to recontextualize things that happened in your life with the new iniformation of a diagnosis.
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 06-04-2021 21:38
Private
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Claire wrote:
Claire wrote:
that ccan be very stressful when you start to recontextualize things that happened in your life with the new iniformation of a diagnosis.
it can be a releif but also stsressful in a way
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 06-04-2021 21:38
Private
World famous



Barbarella wrote:
Claire wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Claire wrote:
how do you feel about it?

what were you expecting? 
I was expecting ADHD but when I mentioned it being episodic and my just, emotional outbursts and loss of filter she said it sounded more like bipolar and is easing me into a mood stabilizer.

she even said when I'm stable she'd write a letter to the school board to see if I could get my substitute teaching certificate back bc it's very likely the thing that got me fired was an episode I couldn't control
woahhhh 
I had a crazy episode like a week or two ago and honestly, yeah, she's right. If a friend of mine was behaving how I was, I'd definitely assume they were manic. I can't be in denial about it. I just was kinda hoping it wasn't it lol.

but bipolar is also one of the things they've been testing my mom for (she's in court ordered therapy bc I had to have her committed about a year ago) and my psych said that there's a 50% chance of a kid having it with one parent having it, and 75% if both parents have it, and I don't know who my dad is so, who the hell knows if he had it too
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 06-04-2021 21:39
Private
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Barbarella wrote:
Claire wrote:
that ccan be very stressful when you start to recontextualize things that happened in your life with the new iniformation of a diagnosis.
I mean it sucks because if anyone had ever noticed, I may not have struggled so much? but also it's comforting to know some things were not totally my fault...
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 06-04-2021 21:40
Private
World famous



Claire wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Claire wrote:
that ccan be very stressful when you start to recontextualize things that happened in your life with the new iniformation of a diagnosis.
I mean it sucks because if anyone had ever noticed, I may not have struggled so much? but also it's comforting to know some things were not totally my fault...
youre actually quite young to get this information now as a woman we dont get diagnoses the way we should. 

but also youre entitled to mourn a bit if you want the things that could have been if you hadnt had to struggle imo.
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 06-04-2021 21:42
Private
World famous



Claire wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Claire wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
I was expecting ADHD but when I mentioned it being episodic and my just, emotional outbursts and loss of filter she said it sounded more like bipolar and is easing me into a mood stabilizer.

she even said when I'm stable she'd write a letter to the school board to see if I could get my substitute teaching certificate back bc it's very likely the thing that got me fired was an episode I couldn't control
woahhhh 
I had a crazy episode like a week or two ago and honestly, yeah, she's right. If a friend of mine was behaving how I was, I'd definitely assume they were manic. I can't be in denial about it. I just was kinda hoping it wasn't it lol.

but bipolar is also one of the things they've been testing my mom for (she's in court ordered therapy bc I had to have her committed about a year ago) and my psych said that there's a 50% chance of a kid having it with one parent having it, and 75% if both parents have it, and I don't know who my dad is so, who the hell knows if he had it too
its so much easier to see things in other people than in ourselves you know. its near impossible to recognize mania when youre experiencing it.

maybe impossible idk anyone who is like able to be like 'oh im manic' like while its happening lol its always later like 'oh shit yea i was manic' 
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 06-04-2021 21:44
Private
World famous



Barbarella wrote:
Claire wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Claire wrote:
that ccan be very stressful when you start to recontextualize things that happened in your life with the new iniformation of a diagnosis.
I mean it sucks because if anyone had ever noticed, I may not have struggled so much? but also it's comforting to know some things were not totally my fault...
youre actually quite young to get this information now as a woman we dont get diagnoses the way we should. 

but also youre entitled to mourn a bit if you want the things that could have been if you hadnt had to struggle imo.
One thing I hate is having to be on meds, not because I have an aversion to medication, but because it adds this extra level of "what am I gonna do..." if I ever lose my health insurance again - as so often happens here.

I kept picking my cymbalta up for months after I stopped taking it just in case I ever found someone who couldn't afford theirs - because it's terrifying to have to just stop medication. expired as fuck now tho
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 06-04-2021 21:45
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Claire wrote:
i think this is mostly good news and im glad you were able to have this appointment and a week will go by before you know it. i'd make a list on paper of any questions that come up during the week.
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 06-04-2021 21:45
Private
World famous



Barbarella wrote:
Claire wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Claire wrote:
woahhhh 
I had a crazy episode like a week or two ago and honestly, yeah, she's right. If a friend of mine was behaving how I was, I'd definitely assume they were manic. I can't be in denial about it. I just was kinda hoping it wasn't it lol.

but bipolar is also one of the things they've been testing my mom for (she's in court ordered therapy bc I had to have her committed about a year ago) and my psych said that there's a 50% chance of a kid having it with one parent having it, and 75% if both parents have it, and I don't know who my dad is so, who the hell knows if he had it too
its so much easier to see things in other people than in ourselves you know. its near impossible to recognize mania when youre experiencing it.

maybe impossible idk anyone who is like able to be like 'oh im manic' like while its happening lol its always later like 'oh shit yea i was manic' 
I mean I definitely knew what I was dealing with wasn't normal, and I did use the word manic even tho I was apprehensive to do so.

I described it to the psych as being like the first few hours of coming up on LSD, like you feel frantic and like you need to be doing something but you don't know what so you just do everything and you feel crazy and then all of a sudden you smoke a bowl and it chills out and you look around and everything is - metaphorically - on fire. 

tbh doing acid well over a hundred times in college probably didn't help matters, but this woulda come up eventually with or without drug use 
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 06-04-2021 21:48
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