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i'm the worst
SiXsiXsiX
World famous



siXsiXsiX wrote:
me and my boy went to a small party last night
we planned on leaving early as we had plans for today

but i have no memory of how the night ended. i woke up at my own apartment, alone

when my boy finally called me up.. i was told i had started drinking a lot of vodka and was clingy with other guys. then he had to call me a taxi cause i was too wasted to stand up, so there was no way i'd get on my bike home

well.. idk why i do that. and it isn't first time, that i get flirty with other guys when i'm drunk
i am aware of my issues and i try not to drink too much. but it's hard to control

he doesn't deserve somebody like me. i want to be with him. i love him. but how fun is it for him to never be sure, always worried to bring me a long on parties, not knowing how drunk i'll get or what i will do.. what kinda relationship is that?
if the roles were reversed.. i'd be so fucking hurt. how can he put up with it? i'm so terribly sorry for him and my behaviour

i said sorry. but the damage is done.. there is nothing i can do about that
is it possible to recover from this.. idk what to do?
promise it will never happen again? can't do that. obviously
19
Posts: 9572
Date: 10-07-2021 16:38
SiXsiXsiX
World famous



siXsiXsiX wrote:
i guess the only thing to do is for me to wait for him to say something now
19
Posts: 9572
Date: 10-07-2021 16:53
SiXsiXsiX
World famous



siXsiXsiX wrote:
i'm so anxius i could throw up
19
Posts: 9572
Date: 10-07-2021 17:22
SiXsiXsiX
World famous



siXsiXsiX wrote:
but if this is the last straw and he leaves me now idk what do to with myself
i can't imagine life without him
so why can't i show him that on parties? why do i need to be a whore and seek validation from everyone else?
19
Posts: 9572
Date: 10-07-2021 17:27
Private
National star



kagura wrote:
i kinda have same problem? i mean i'm not trying to flirt or anything like that when i'm drunk, but i just like being psychically close with other people and it has caused some misundertandings in my past relationship
especially with one friend, who was totally fine me getting close to him, so i just always like cuddled with him while drunk and once my ex was like ..i know you but can you still like stop
so then i just started cuddlind with my gay friend. also quit drinking that much but

but i don't know your boy, so i don't know? honestly that shouldn't be the end of the world. he might be upset, but you have a healthy relationship, you two should be able to talk that through
and honestly tho if you were really that drunk that you could hardly stand pretty irresponsible from him to let you go home all alone?
14
Posts: 7616
Date: 10-07-2021 17:29
Private
National star



kagura wrote:
so my solution to this pretty much is: get a gay male friend who you can cuddle with so there's absolute 0 sexual tension so no reason to for anyone to get jealous
14
Posts: 7616
Date: 10-07-2021 17:34
SiXsiXsiX
World famous



siXsiXsiX wrote:
kagura wrote:
i kinda have same problem? i mean i'm not trying to flirt or anything like that when i'm drunk, but i just like being psychically close with other people and it has caused some misundertandings in my past relationship
especially with one friend, who was totally fine me getting close to him, so i just always like cuddled with him while drunk and once my ex was like ..i know you but can you still like stop
so then i just started cuddlind with my gay friend. also quit drinking that much but

but i don't know your boy, so i don't know? honestly that shouldn't be the end of the world. he might be upset, but you have a healthy relationship, you two should be able to talk that through
and honestly tho if you were really that drunk that you could hardly stand pretty irresponsible from him to let you go home all alone?
it could be the end of the world? i mean if this is a steady occuring thing.. which it is. eventually you must grow sick of it never changing? that i keep giving the attention i should only have for him, to other guys

no i think he went with me in the taxi and made sure i got home tho. but i have no idea
 
19
Posts: 9572
Date: 10-07-2021 17:37
SiXsiXsiX
World famous



siXsiXsiX wrote:
kagura wrote:
so my solution to this pretty much is: get a gay male friend who you can cuddle with so there's absolute 0 sexual tension so no reason to for anyone to get jealous
haha oh i think my issue is i want the attention from everyone
so chanelling my attention on one gay guy only.. i don't think i could do that lol
19
Posts: 9572
Date: 10-07-2021 17:38
Private
Youtube star



Limbs wrote:
if you can't control yourself while drinking, don't drink
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 10-07-2021 17:38
Private
World famous



Barbarella wrote:
The only acceptable apology is changed behavior. If you can't control how you behave when you drink, the best apology is to stop drinking. 
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 10-07-2021 17:39
SiXsiXsiX
World famous



siXsiXsiX wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
The only acceptable apology is changed behavior. If you can't control how you behave when you drink, the best apology is to stop drinking. 
i know. and it's the only solution. for me to stop drinking. but i don't want that, a life withour alcohol
19
Posts: 9572
Date: 10-07-2021 17:42
Private
World famous



Barbarella wrote:
siXsiXsiX wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
The only acceptable apology is changed behavior. If you can't control how you behave when you drink, the best apology is to stop drinking. 
i know. and it's the only solution. for me to stop drinking. but i don't want that, a life withour alcohol
That's a choice you gotta make, and only you.

I would not be with my partner if he was still drinking.
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 10-07-2021 17:47
Lean
Streetmusician



lean wrote:
siXsiXsiX wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
The only acceptable apology is changed behavior. If you can't control how you behave when you drink, the best apology is to stop drinking. 
i know. and it's the only solution. for me to stop drinking. but i don't want that, a life withour alcohol
you don't have to quit forever, but maybe you need to quit for now. even what you just said there sounds like you could have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. 
17
Posts: 9093
Date: 10-07-2021 17:49
Private
National star



Miguel wrote:
id consider not drinking w people around
that shows more than promising not to be flirty while drunk w other people, n honestly still i think you may have some kind of problem w alcohol so id also consider getting help w it if that's the case 
in any case, i hope that u find ur way and get the help that you need
15
Posts: 2227
Date: 10-07-2021 17:52
SiXsiXsiX
World famous



siXsiXsiX wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
siXsiXsiX wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
The only acceptable apology is changed behavior. If you can't control how you behave when you drink, the best apology is to stop drinking. 
i know. and it's the only solution. for me to stop drinking. but i don't want that, a life withour alcohol
That's a choice you gotta make, and only you.

I would not be with my partner if he was still drinking.
yea
i saw a doctor last month and he asked me about my alcohol consumption. and he said it sound like i use it to self medicate. so there i got another reason to quit
but i feel like i need it. it's the only time i feel like i get to be myself.. if u exlude the time i get this hammered. ofc i drink. and ofc i self medicate when i feel like it's the only option i got, since i'm not getting any help from the psychiatry
19
Posts: 9572
Date: 10-07-2021 17:54
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
siXsiXsiX wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
The only acceptable apology is changed behavior. If you can't control how you behave when you drink, the best apology is to stop drinking. 
i know. and it's the only solution. for me to stop drinking. but i don't want that, a life withour alcohol
Would you be willing to switch to beer? It's what I had to do. I cant handle liquor. I'm a sloppy, flirty mess. 

(Well I still drink it ocassionally but not regularly anymore). 

Also at least you feel remorse for your actions. My ex would say shit like feeling bad for the shit he fucked up while drinking. Then one night I told him to apologize for breaking a promise to his neighbor cuz I was trying to break up a drunken fight. Well his response was to call the cops on us, and later place a knife against my neck and kick me out??? He never really apologized. He said I was "a bitch to him" but he was "willing to forgive." Wtf??? 

I think your best bet is to not beat yourself up, but to be willing to hold yourself accountable and change. 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 10-07-2021 17:54
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