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lean wrote:
BACKSTORY:
okay so my partner, let's call her allie, has this ex, let's call her sam. allie and sam had a very intense and impactful relationship and it's probably to date allie's biggest relationship, even bigger than ours.
allie and sam broke up after over two years, they'd moved away together and sam ended up dumping allie. allie was pretty heartbroken and moved back to our home city. i'd known allie throughout this all, but not well, because we were coworkers.
allie was rebounding when she came back and met a psychotic woman, let's call her marie. allie and marie were seeing each other casually for like 3 months right when allie came back then i kinda came into the picture and allie broke things off with marie. fast forward we've been together nearly 2 years now. i don't think she's ever really gotten over sam, or been able to get closure.
sam ended moving back here too and allie and sam went for "coffee" a while ago but it ended up just being them getting drunk on tequila at sam's house.
THE SITUATION-
allie works at a cafe in the kitchen, sam told allie yesterday that she got a job at said cafe. i am.... upset to say the least. i want allie to leave the job because i know it would kind of destroy me knowing they were working together like 40 hours a week. allie swears they'd never see each other cause sam is a barista and allie works in the kitchen but i call bs.
she hasn't really done anything to acknowledge or empathize with my anxiety and is just getting mad at me for being upset and anxious. there's other reasons i don't trust her (not cheating, afaik) but i won't get into that. but my trust in her is rocky.
i feel like i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place because if she stays there i'm going to drive myself mad thinking up situations in my head. but if she quits i know it'll only be reluctantly to shut me up and she's gonna resent me.
wtf do i do in this situation. sorry i wrote a fucking novel i just need somewhere to get this off my chest.
BACKSTORY:
okay so my partner, let's call her allie, has this ex, let's call her sam. allie and sam had a very intense and impactful relationship and it's probably to date allie's biggest relationship, even bigger than ours.
allie and sam broke up after over two years, they'd moved away together and sam ended up dumping allie. allie was pretty heartbroken and moved back to our home city. i'd known allie throughout this all, but not well, because we were coworkers.
allie was rebounding when she came back and met a psychotic woman, let's call her marie. allie and marie were seeing each other casually for like 3 months right when allie came back then i kinda came into the picture and allie broke things off with marie. fast forward we've been together nearly 2 years now. i don't think she's ever really gotten over sam, or been able to get closure.
sam ended moving back here too and allie and sam went for "coffee" a while ago but it ended up just being them getting drunk on tequila at sam's house.
THE SITUATION-
allie works at a cafe in the kitchen, sam told allie yesterday that she got a job at said cafe. i am.... upset to say the least. i want allie to leave the job because i know it would kind of destroy me knowing they were working together like 40 hours a week. allie swears they'd never see each other cause sam is a barista and allie works in the kitchen but i call bs.
she hasn't really done anything to acknowledge or empathize with my anxiety and is just getting mad at me for being upset and anxious. there's other reasons i don't trust her (not cheating, afaik) but i won't get into that. but my trust in her is rocky.
i feel like i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place because if she stays there i'm going to drive myself mad thinking up situations in my head. but if she quits i know it'll only be reluctantly to shut me up and she's gonna resent me.
wtf do i do in this situation. sorry i wrote a fucking novel i just need somewhere to get this off my chest.
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