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Zexion wrote:
I haven't been on in a little while, to be honest I've had crippling depressing for a while. I'm a domestic abuse survivor and in all honesty it sucks sometimes.
Because when you talk about it, most people don't understand. How could you fall for them? How could you stay with that person?
It's the exact questions I've asked as well growing up. You're taught in school for example that hitting is abuse. If you are being hit you are being abused, well everyone knows that! Of course that's obvious it's abuse.
They don't talk about what leads to that. The love bombing, the isolation, they don't tell you all the warning signs leading UP to being hit.
You are so slowly brainwashed that by the time you do get there you frequently don't see that it's abuse. Because YOUR situation is different. YOUR partner loves you or THEY can change. YOUR situation is different!
No. It isn't.
Because seldom do they change. It takes a lot of therapy, a lot of work, and a lot of time for that type of change to happen and it won't happen with you.
I got to a point that one day,
I wasn't allowed to leave the apartment. I wasn't allowed to drive anywhere shop or do anything. Any money I earned or brought in was taken, my family and friends I could no longer speak with. I HAD no friends....still don't actually.
Oh but HE loves me, he understands me...right?
No.
Picking up the pieces and realizing how close you were to serious injury or worse is heart breaking. Because you trusted that person with everything with your very life and to know they stomp on that life like its dirt is demeaning. My divorce paperwork finally went through (Thanks for slowing it down COVID! -____-)
And I just kept getting flash backs. It's over now, but it doesn't feel like it's truly over. I'm with someone new, someone better and exact opposite of what I had. We plan to get married in the future, but it still doesn't feel like it's over some days.
The facts of abuse is that it's slow. They start of giving you love, telling you only they understand you and only they can love you like they do. No one loves you like they do you are meant to be. Then it slowly turns to everything you say and do is wrong and so you do anything to go back to how it was. The years pass and it gets worse and goes into physical contact. But even that starts small. A shove one time. A light slap another. Then a punch. Then suddenly you are on the ground beaten. It's slow, step by step you are brainwashed until suddenly a decade has passed and you realize you don't want to spend another decade and wonder what the hell happened to your life.
It's tough getting over it and many don't understand. "Chin up! Forget it! It's over!"
But the memories aren't over.
I haven't been on in a little while, to be honest I've had crippling depressing for a while. I'm a domestic abuse survivor and in all honesty it sucks sometimes.
Because when you talk about it, most people don't understand. How could you fall for them? How could you stay with that person?
It's the exact questions I've asked as well growing up. You're taught in school for example that hitting is abuse. If you are being hit you are being abused, well everyone knows that! Of course that's obvious it's abuse.
They don't talk about what leads to that. The love bombing, the isolation, they don't tell you all the warning signs leading UP to being hit.
You are so slowly brainwashed that by the time you do get there you frequently don't see that it's abuse. Because YOUR situation is different. YOUR partner loves you or THEY can change. YOUR situation is different!
No. It isn't.
Because seldom do they change. It takes a lot of therapy, a lot of work, and a lot of time for that type of change to happen and it won't happen with you.
I got to a point that one day,
I wasn't allowed to leave the apartment. I wasn't allowed to drive anywhere shop or do anything. Any money I earned or brought in was taken, my family and friends I could no longer speak with. I HAD no friends....still don't actually.
Oh but HE loves me, he understands me...right?
No.
Picking up the pieces and realizing how close you were to serious injury or worse is heart breaking. Because you trusted that person with everything with your very life and to know they stomp on that life like its dirt is demeaning. My divorce paperwork finally went through (Thanks for slowing it down COVID! -____-)
And I just kept getting flash backs. It's over now, but it doesn't feel like it's truly over. I'm with someone new, someone better and exact opposite of what I had. We plan to get married in the future, but it still doesn't feel like it's over some days.
The facts of abuse is that it's slow. They start of giving you love, telling you only they understand you and only they can love you like they do. No one loves you like they do you are meant to be. Then it slowly turns to everything you say and do is wrong and so you do anything to go back to how it was. The years pass and it gets worse and goes into physical contact. But even that starts small. A shove one time. A light slap another. Then a punch. Then suddenly you are on the ground beaten. It's slow, step by step you are brainwashed until suddenly a decade has passed and you realize you don't want to spend another decade and wonder what the hell happened to your life.
It's tough getting over it and many don't understand. "Chin up! Forget it! It's over!"
But the memories aren't over.
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