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General < General
more queer discourse
Hungover
National star



hungover wrote:
Ok so

I LOVE being a queer woman, right? But I hate people seeing me as a woman, I don't feel comfortable being referred to as a woman by strangers, friends or myself really, but I love being a woman? Idk. I've always struggled with my gender identity, went through a phase of using he/him pronouns and a masc name, now my problem isn't femininity or being referred to as she/her, I just


hate being seen as a woman. I don't want to be a woman through society's eyes, I want and I am my own version of a woman.

I've considered asking my friends to actually use she/they pronouns for me, because being referred to as "they" makes me feel super comfortable, but I'm not nonbinary either?

I feel like I fall in between.. being a woman and being non-binary, is that a thing? Can anyone relate to what I'm saying or do I sound like a madman?
16
Posts: 3687
Date: 16-08-2021 14:30
Private
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Sylvan wrote:
Maybe you are cis and have tons of internalized misogyny or you are not cis but some variant of nb.
I personally don't think all those hyper specific labels like demi girl or whatever are helpful, but if they help others to feel more comfortable with themselves, just use them ig.

Pronouns don't equal gender and your friends know you so using they/them shouldn't  cause problems if they aren't asshats, but be prepared that people who don't know you will assume that you are outside the gender binary if you use they/them.
16
Posts: 17933
Date: 16-08-2021 14:39
Hungover
National star



hungover wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
Maybe you are cis and have tons of internalized misogyny or you are not cis but some variant of nb.
I personally don't think all those hyper specific labels like demi girl or whatever are helpful, but if they help others to feel more comfortable with themselves, just use them ig.

Pronouns don't equal gender and your friends know you so using they/them shouldn't  cause problems if they aren't asshats, but be prepared that people who don't know you will assume that you are outside the gender binary if you use they/them.

I struggled with internalized misogyny for a while, which was back when I used he/Him pronouns. I felt like I didn't fit what society made me believe a girl was, if that makes sense. I've worked through that now, though, but I still feel super icky being referred to as a girl or a woman.
It has something to do with the way society views women, and I know that for a fact, I just don't know how to cope with it.

My friends aren't asshats by any means, most of them go by they/them pronouns, and/or are nonbinary. We're all very aware that pronouns don't equal gender, dw. I fully think they'd understand, I've spoken about this before with them,,, I just don't know If I'm comfortable with identifying as cis or not cis, it's weird to me.. I don't know, like, I'm ME, I'm not a "woman", a man, nonbinary, genderfluid, etc. I'm just me, and me is.. well, me, not gendered.

I feel like I'm rambling.
16
Posts: 3687
Date: 16-08-2021 14:45
Hungover
National star



hungover wrote:
hungover wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
Maybe you are cis and have tons of internalized misogyny or you are not cis but some variant of nb.
I personally don't think all those hyper specific labels like demi girl or whatever are helpful, but if they help others to feel more comfortable with themselves, just use them ig.

Pronouns don't equal gender and your friends know you so using they/them shouldn't  cause problems if they aren't asshats, but be prepared that people who don't know you will assume that you are outside the gender binary if you use they/them.

I struggled with internalized misogyny for a while, which was back when I used he/Him pronouns. I felt like I didn't fit what society made me believe a girl was, if that makes sense. I've worked through that now, though, but I still feel super icky being referred to as a girl or a woman.
It has something to do with the way society views women, and I know that for a fact, I just don't know how to cope with it.

My friends aren't asshats by any means, most of them go by they/them pronouns, and/or are nonbinary. We're all very aware that pronouns don't equal gender, dw. I fully think they'd understand, I've spoken about this before with them,,, I just don't know If I'm comfortable with identifying as cis or not cis, it's weird to me.. I don't know, like, I'm ME, I'm not a "woman", a man, nonbinary, genderfluid, etc. I'm just me, and me is.. well, me, not gendered.

I feel like I'm rambling.

And by not gendered I mean, I like being a woman but I don't want people to see me as someone with a gender, which sounds a bit weird.
16
Posts: 3687
Date: 16-08-2021 14:46
Private
National star



kagura wrote:
yeah i feel that. yeah i'm a girl but i'm not, please don't refer me as anything. i'm just a human being. or an alien if you wanna. 
14
Posts: 7616
Date: 16-08-2021 14:51
Private
National star



Sylvan wrote:
hungover wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
Maybe you are cis and have tons of internalized misogyny or you are not cis but some variant of nb.
I personally don't think all those hyper specific labels like demi girl or whatever are helpful, but if they help others to feel more comfortable with themselves, just use them ig.

Pronouns don't equal gender and your friends know you so using they/them shouldn't  cause problems if they aren't asshats, but be prepared that people who don't know you will assume that you are outside the gender binary if you use they/them.

I struggled with internalized misogyny for a while, which was back when I used he/Him pronouns. I felt like I didn't fit what society made me believe a girl was, if that makes sense. I've worked through that now, though, but I still feel super icky being referred to as a girl or a woman.
It has something to do with the way society views women, and I know that for a fact, I just don't know how to cope with it.

My friends aren't asshats by any means, most of them go by they/them pronouns, and/or are nonbinary. We're all very aware that pronouns don't equal gender, dw. I fully think they'd understand, I've spoken about this before with them,,, I just don't know If I'm comfortable with identifying as cis or not cis, it's weird to me.. I don't know, like, I'm ME, I'm not a "woman", a man, nonbinary, genderfluid, etc. I'm just me, and me is.. well, me, not gendered.

I feel like I'm rambling.

maybe just say you are a queer person and that should be enough, you don't owe anyone anything when it comes to gender,...
16
Posts: 17933
Date: 16-08-2021 14:54
Hungover
National star



hungover wrote:
kagura wrote:
yeah i feel that. yeah i'm a girl but i'm not, please don't refer me as anything. i'm just a human being. or an alien if you wanna. 

Right?? Human being.
16
Posts: 3687
Date: 16-08-2021 14:59
Private
National star



kagura wrote:
hungover wrote:
kagura wrote:
yeah i feel that. yeah i'm a girl but i'm not, please don't refer me as anything. i'm just a human being. or an alien if you wanna. 

Right?? Human being.
 it's like yes i'm biologically a female and it's fine, but in sense of social gender i can't fit in box of a girl 
i just wanna a world where that doesn't matter. because just do whatever makes you happy you don't need to be a girl or a boy in order to enjoy things 
14
Posts: 7616
Date: 16-08-2021 15:08
Private
Popstar



rottomilko wrote:
u can always refer to urself as genderqueer
i like that term for myself at least
21
Posts: 31977
Date: 16-08-2021 15:08
Private
Popstar



rottomilko wrote:
idk gender identity is hard
i don’t wanna deal, just be.
gender makes no sense to me
21
Posts: 31977
Date: 16-08-2021 15:12
Private
Popstar



ouch wrote:
Melk wrote:
idk gender identity is hard
i don’t wanna deal, just be.
gender makes no sense to me
Its weird cus ig it doesn't make sense to most cis ppl either, its just "I am a girl" or boy yeah, just custhats what ur born as and thats what u feel like u r. Even tho u might not identify w the gender stereotypes, most ppl just know, n its weird in a way
16
Posts: 95491
Date: 16-08-2021 15:15
Furby
Popstar



Furby wrote:
sounds like how lots of women think now from what i hear, doesn't mean anything too deep, just be yourself and dont worry about that or how others see you
18
Posts: 1578
Date: 16-08-2021 16:02
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