how you get over (tw i guess) - Forum

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kagura wrote:
a break up like seriously this is not fun anymore
it's been half year and i still wake up everything morning like bye gonna kill myself
but then i choose to get high instead

nothing helps literally nothing
and it just hurts more every day
weed doesn't make my feelings go away
it just makes them more tolerable
and i'm too afraid to tell anyone
because they'll make me quit smoking
and i don't know any other way to cope

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Evey wrote:
therapy mayb?
go through why it feels so bad after such a long time, and how to get past that part of the grief

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kagura wrote:
i'm also seeing this new guy, but we don't have a future that's for sure. but i've told him my situtation and he says he doesn't want a relationship either, so it's all good and let just give each others what we need right now. so i just told him to tell me if he catches feelings, so i can be a decent person and let him go befofe it's too serious.
but honestly he seems to be very much into me and i'm not sure if he's gonna tell me

healthy

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kagura wrote:

Evey wrote:
therapy mayb?
go through why it feels so bad after such a long time, and how to get past that part of the grief

i tried to get to therapy, but every single therapist i contacted to said they can't get new customers because of covid. so i took psychedelics instead and expect to get a new life, but they just made me realise that miss my ex even more than i thought
like idk what the fuck brain just move on life is good

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kagura wrote:
and i mean it when i say life is good. still i'm sad all the time because life is not good with my ex and i can't share it with him
is bigger things but also small things like i cry when i make good food and can't invite him to taste it

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Barbarella wrote:

kagura wrote:

Evey wrote:
therapy mayb?
go through why it feels so bad after such a long time, and how to get past that part of the grief

i tried to get to therapy, but every single therapist i contacted to said they can't get new customers because of covid. so i took psychedelics instead and expect to get a new life, but they just made me realise that miss my ex even more than i thought
like idk what the fuck brain just move on life is good

try to search for telehealth specific therapy?
that's what I had to do.

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Barbarella wrote:
Do you not have a strong support system outside your last relationship?
Is it possible that you don't necessarily miss this person, but are just lonely in general?

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kagura wrote:

Barbarella wrote:
Do you not have a strong support system outside your last relationship?
Is it possible that you don't necessarily miss this person, but are just lonely in general?

it's not that. i've lot of great friends and people in my life
it's so ironic i've always valued platonic relationships over romantic ones
i wouldn't be a shit without my bestfriend

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kagura wrote:
only downside in my bestfriend is that he's the biggest stoner ever
sohe's just supporting my addiction
but i mean i'm more functional now and at least i enjoy so
what's the harm expect my lungs gonna die

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Evey wrote:
the only "mental" downside about smoking while going through things like this is that it kinda helps u not to deal with ur shit, and postpones it in a way mayb (not telling u what to do but smth i would consider myself at least)

sucks that u can't see a therapist now, i'm in a similar situation due to covid and whatnot, but try to see if there will be more options in a few months when covid hopefully is more under control?

not to be the typical white woman but i bought a self help book once that ngl helped me a lil bit about getting over the first obsticle of grief and to do what the title said which was nice, but that was because i was obsessing over something and couldn't relax from my thoughts, rather than.. trying to actually figuring stuff out idk, depends on ur goal

think it was this one

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kagura wrote:
also like how the fuck i'm supposed to avoid him, that would be very easy if i just could
but we have same friend circles... we are both invited to same party next weekend
i told i'm not going have fun

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kagura wrote:

Evey wrote:
the only "mental" downside about smoking while going through things like this is that it kinda helps u not to deal with ur shit, and postpones it in a way mayb (not telling u what to do but smth i would consider myself at least)

sucks that u can't see a therapist now, i'm in a similar situation due to covid and whatnot, but try to see if there will be more options in a few months when covid hopefully is more under control?

not to be the typical white woman but i bought a self help book once that ngl helped me a lil bit about getting over the first obsticle of grief and to do what the title said which was nice, but that was because i was obsessing over something and couldn't relax from my thoughts, rather than.. trying to actually figuring stuff out idk, depends on ur goal

think it was this one
x

i can't stand general self help books... i just can't. i have tried few and they all sucked
but yeah i like to read a lot to understand everything better. it's just i read books like the body keeps the score and why zebras don't get ulcers
i just don't know if there's any book that tells how to get over a person by science
i bet but haven't found it yet

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Ataraxia wrote:
get back together with ur ex

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kagura wrote:

Ataraxia wrote:
get back together with ur ex

i seriously would in heart beat without a second thought if he asked to

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kagura wrote:
i guess i need to move out of town and get new friends
seriously i only have one friend who isn't friends with him too
so he'll be in my life in some way wanted or not
and it's not like i don't want to have him in my life
it just hurts too much right now

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Versailles wrote:
honestly idk, 3 months in and it's shitty.
I guess you gotta suffer trough it until it doesn't. Make small plans for future (short term, like what gonna do the next 1-6 months). Also grieve a lot. I journal a bit and listen tons to a podcast called "heal your heartbreak" while I walk a lot and try pokemon go. When i'm alone i force myself to smile a lot because it tricks your brain. I think the clue is to say ''survive'' and try remind yourself u aint gonna feel this way too long.

This shit sucks a lot and wouldn't wish anybody to experience. Treat yourself extra when u can because it's a hard period of life. Be kind and wake up choosing yourself. I just trust that one day i'll be indifferent about it and it might be blessing in disguise.