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General < General
no one listens to me
Soliar
National star



Soliar wrote:
I'm pursuing a bachelor in art history, and many of my fellow students are inbetween 45-70 years old. I've found that they won't include me og let me speak when we discuss different topics in our breakout rooms after our lecture. Why is that so? 
I can understand that they have more knowledge than me on some of the topics, but when i try to speak they usually raise their voice. this feels like they're brushing my opinion away :/
I'm really not an outgoing type  nor do i take up too much space, but i do think that my thoughts and ideas are valuable to my peers.
is this just how academia is? do any of you have any tips on how to take more space?
14
Posts: 218
Date: 09-09-2021 16:50
Private
National star



kagura wrote:
hmmm i'm also the youngest one in my class, everyone else is like 35+ years old. sometimes it be like that, in some topics they like to hear about my outlook on life. but in some topics i'm just young person who doesn't know a shit (aka when i don't support their viewpoints) 
it sucks i mean they should listen us. they could learn from us. we can also learn from them yes. but i don't really have any tips. i'm not super outgoing either, but i'm not shy either so like yes i state my opionon no problem
14
Posts: 7616
Date: 09-09-2021 17:07
DeltaB
National star



DeltaB wrote:
Sadly academia is usually full of a bunch of egotistical people. Since they're older, yeah, they're probably wrongfully assuming that you have less life experience or something (no one really knows each others' experiences, how could they say?)

I find that the easiest way to butt into a group is to single out one person and begin talking to them one-on-one. One-on-one is always easier to connect with a person, especially if that person already knows the rest of the group well. Then, when you're friendly enough, try to talk with 2 people -- the person you got to know and another peer. Work your way up like that.

People like that def lack in the emotional intelligence arena in any case, bc you don't deserve to be ignored!
13
Posts: 134
Date: 09-09-2021 17:25
Soliar
National star



Soliar wrote:
DeltaB wrote:
Sadly academia is usually full of a bunch of egotistical people. Since they're older, yeah, they're probably wrongfully assuming that you have less life experience or something (no one really knows each others' experiences, how could they say?)

I find that the easiest way to butt into a group is to single out one person and begin talking to them one-on-one. One-on-one is always easier to connect with a person, especially if that person already knows the rest of the group well. Then, when you're friendly enough, try to talk with 2 people -- the person you got to know and another peer. Work your way up like that.

People like that def lack in the emotional intelligence arena in any case, bc you don't deserve to be ignored!
i feel like academia is a "fight" to be heard, and to have the "right" idea. The discussion we had today was about a difficult topic that I felt like I understand, but they wouldn't let me speak :p

I will definitely try to speak directly to them, or i'll just write my thoughts down and send them in chat or something
14
Posts: 218
Date: 09-09-2021 18:11
Private
World famous



Rotte wrote:
Soliar wrote:
DeltaB wrote:
Sadly academia is usually full of a bunch of egotistical people. Since they're older, yeah, they're probably wrongfully assuming that you have less life experience or something (no one really knows each others' experiences, how could they say?)

I find that the easiest way to butt into a group is to single out one person and begin talking to them one-on-one. One-on-one is always easier to connect with a person, especially if that person already knows the rest of the group well. Then, when you're friendly enough, try to talk with 2 people -- the person you got to know and another peer. Work your way up like that.

People like that def lack in the emotional intelligence arena in any case, bc you don't deserve to be ignored!
i feel like academia is a "fight" to be heard, and to have the "right" idea. The discussion we had today was about a difficult topic that I felt like I understand, but they wouldn't let me speak

I will definitely try to speak directly to them, or i'll just write my thoughts down and send them in chat or something
It's sad that no one can agree to disagreeing anymore. 
21
Posts: 70325
Date: 09-09-2021 18:14 | Times changed: 1
Soliar
National star



Soliar wrote:
Angelica wrote:
Soliar wrote:
DeltaB wrote:
Sadly academia is usually full of a bunch of egotistical people. Since they're older, yeah, they're probably wrongfully assuming that you have less life experience or something (no one really knows each others' experiences, how could they say?)

I find that the easiest way to butt into a group is to single out one person and begin talking to them one-on-one. One-on-one is always easier to connect with a person, especially if that person already knows the rest of the group well. Then, when you're friendly enough, try to talk with 2 people -- the person you got to know and another peer. Work your way up like that.

People like that def lack in the emotional intelligence arena in any case, bc you don't deserve to be ignored!
i feel like academia is a "fight" to be heard, and to have the "right" idea. The discussion we had today was about a difficult topic that I felt like I understand, but they wouldn't let me speak

I will definitely try to speak directly to them, or i'll just write my thoughts down and send them in chat or something
It's sad that there is no agreeing to disagreeing anymore. 
it really is! art is rather abstract, so to say that someones opinion is wrong because its different than yours is really stupid 
14
Posts: 218
Date: 09-09-2021 18:17
Private
Popstar



disposable wrote:
That's rude. Maybe they do not think about it? I know some people just want to say what they want to say whenever they want, and doesn't think about that there are more people around that wants to talk.

Can you just speak louder, when they do? You have the right to speak too.
18
Posts: 5820
Date: 09-09-2021 18:24
Soliar
National star



Soliar wrote:
disposable wrote:
That's rude. Maybe they do not think about it? I know some people just want to say what they want to say whenever they want, and doesn't think about that there are more people around that wants to talk.

Can you just speak louder, when they do? You have the right to speak too.
I tried to do that but they still cut me off.. maybe its easier irl than on zoom
14
Posts: 218
Date: 09-09-2021 20:40
DeltaB
National star



DeltaB wrote:
Soliar wrote:
DeltaB wrote:
Sadly academia is usually full of a bunch of egotistical people. Since they're older, yeah, they're probably wrongfully assuming that you have less life experience or something (no one really knows each others' experiences, how could they say?)

I find that the easiest way to butt into a group is to single out one person and begin talking to them one-on-one. One-on-one is always easier to connect with a person, especially if that person already knows the rest of the group well. Then, when you're friendly enough, try to talk with 2 people -- the person you got to know and another peer. Work your way up like that.

People like that def lack in the emotional intelligence arena in any case, bc you don't deserve to be ignored!
i feel like academia is a "fight" to be heard, and to have the "right" idea. The discussion we had today was about a difficult topic that I felt like I understand, but they wouldn't let me speak

I will definitely try to speak directly to them, or i'll just write my thoughts down and send them in chat or something
Oh, 100%. What Angelica said too about the agreeing to disagree thing, SO true. 

I'm aspiring for a neuroscience PhD (not yet, but I have completed my 4-year) and the sciences especially can be SO unfairly biased. And you're absolutely whisked away if you have differing opinions from whoever is most respected. But, there's always someone who will agree with you out there.

It's all about that constant fight for yourself and your work at the end of the day

OH and I saw you mention zoom. What if you pose as if you're ASKING one of them for help with something? They'd probably open up to you one-on-one then, because it strokes their ego. And then you can like get to know them and maybe infect them with the desire to respect you. Which they should've anyway 
13
Posts: 134
Date: 09-09-2021 21:21
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