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Nothing makes me happy ):
Anachronism
International star



I thought a vacation would, or an apartment, or getting a new job 

No 

No I still feel empty like nothing makes me happy other than not being sober 

): ): ): ): 

I think I was wired wrong I just wanna feel joy 
Anachronism
International star



Also yes I know I need therapy 

I'm poor tho
DeltaB
National star



Nah, it's barely ever the goals that make me happy. Same, I thought an apartment would do it and all of that.

Therapy personally didn't help me but in all fairness my last therapist kinda sucked. 

I'm just like you, down to the whole wiring comment. Personally, I've accepted that things are difficult to me and stopped beating myself up over what makes me happy. Being non sober makes me happy, my boyfriend makes me happy, and everything in moderation.

Letting go and realizing that's just how I am gave me the space to start aiming for my original goals again (you know, the ones you get when you're still super young/optimistic.) Those aforementioned things are the only things that work for me after so much exploration and I think it's ok.

Step 1: dont beat yourself up 
Private
National star



Maybe something here can help https://adaa.org/finding-help/treatment/low-cost-treatment
Anachronism
International star



DeltaB wrote:
Nah, it's barely ever the goals that make me happy. Same, I thought an apartment would do it and all of that.

Therapy personally didn't help me but in all fairness my last therapist kinda sucked. 

I'm just like you, down to the whole wiring comment. Personally, I've accepted that things are difficult to me and stopped beating myself up over what makes me happy. Being non sober makes me happy, my boyfriend makes me happy, and everything in moderation.

Letting go and realizing that's just how I am gave me the space to start aiming for my original goals again (you know, the ones you get when you're still super young/optimistic.) Those aforementioned things are the only things that work for me after so much exploration and I think it's ok.

Step 1: dont beat yourself up 
♡ 

You get it.... maybe I'll respond when I'm not in such a severe funk but that was comforting 
DeltaB
National star



Anachronism wrote:
DeltaB wrote:
Nah, it's barely ever the goals that make me happy. Same, I thought an apartment would do it and all of that.

Therapy personally didn't help me but in all fairness my last therapist kinda sucked. 

I'm just like you, down to the whole wiring comment. Personally, I've accepted that things are difficult to me and stopped beating myself up over what makes me happy. Being non sober makes me happy, my boyfriend makes me happy, and everything in moderation.

Letting go and realizing that's just how I am gave me the space to start aiming for my original goals again (you know, the ones you get when you're still super young/optimistic.) Those aforementioned things are the only things that work for me after so much exploration and I think it's ok.

Step 1: dont beat yourself up 
♡ 

You get it.... maybe I'll respond when I'm not in such a severe funk but that was comforting 
Hey no worries or pressure to respond, I'm glad you feel a little comforted 
Private
Youtube star



i wanna say something but idk what. i know the feeling 
i mean i do smoke weed in daily basics
we all just need something to fill the void 
you can try to find something else than drugs 
Private
World famous



i know that feeling :/
Anachronism
International star





Basically me 
Anachronism
International star



Anachronism wrote:


Basically me 
I was looking 4 a job and then I found a job, and heaven knows I'm miserable now 

I'm doing better than I was 2 months ago 

I'm no longer homeless I got a pay raise I'm getting paid money 2 go to a training class that will guarantee me a full time job

And yet I still feel empty, anhedonia is a fucking bitch 

Even if I was rich and full of status I think I'd still be devoid of feeling 
Anachronism
International star



DeltaB wrote:
Nah, it's barely ever the goals that make me happy. Same, I thought an apartment would do it and all of that.

Therapy personally didn't help me but in all fairness my last therapist kinda sucked. 

I'm just like you, down to the whole wiring comment. Personally, I've accepted that things are difficult to me and stopped beating myself up over what makes me happy. Being non sober makes me happy, my boyfriend makes me happy, and everything in moderation.

Letting go and realizing that's just how I am gave me the space to start aiming for my original goals again (you know, the ones you get when you're still super young/optimistic.) Those aforementioned things are the only things that work for me after so much exploration and I think it's ok.

Step 1: dont beat yourself up 
I wish I reaped therapeutic benefits from weed, only thing that seems to help is alcohol and amphetamines which isnt sustainable long term 

I'm looking into exercise but idk if that will make me happy either 


I hate that I'm no longer young, now I have to settle down and work, it's depressing, but even as a youth I wasnt happy so I missed out cuz I moped around and now I'm too old to make up for what I missed 

Tho I think my problem is I expect too much from life, I think being accomplished and achieved is what will make me happy and it's not, I think you're right I just have to take things as they are and not pressure myself to chase after all these dumb goals, that's probably why I feel so numb 

I never accept life for what it is, seems like you discovered how to do that? 
Private
Princess of Pop



You find happiness from within, which is the hard part. Drinking excessive and trying to fill the void with external sources personally never got me anywhere, and I think this might be for you too. 
The thing is you gotta stay a bit busy, and if you can it would be good to put gym or exercise atleast once or twice a week.
You will still feel shit a lot of the times, but you gotta allow that "yeah that's how I feel now but i'm still gonna go on with my day" and shift focus on what you're seeing right now or doing instead of beating yourself up. Not saying to think positive, but whenever a bad/negative trigger thought comes around it's important what you do about it. Ppl go through 10000 thoughts and many u just forget, and that can be with negative trigger thoughts as well - they will come but gotta not give it power and stay in present what you're doing now. You may feel bad a day but u gotta accept it's just a bad day and it won't harm you. Same with thoughts, they won't harm you, it feels absolutely shit but you got this and take as long time as you need - it's much better to get out of the rut. 

Don't put high expectation for where you should be or doing - you gotta work from where you are at. You need to be extra kind and forgving with yourself because it's not a pleasent period or a place to be when one is experiencing depressing feelings. 
It's not worth going to bad habits because it hurts you and I know it's hard because one is familiar with drinking etc and hard to break it, and you gotta make the choice to go the hard part every single day. It doesn't matter if you relapse, you gotta take yourself up, dust it away and keep going. I believe you will notice a shift with small changes, and you gotta allow having shit times but shift focus whenever bad trigger thoughts comes around because they will come. It's a long term project, but I believe you'll be content and even v happy a lot of the times but it's not a competiotion and take as long time you need. 
Anachronism
International star



Versailles wrote:
You find happiness from within, which is the hard part. Drinking excessive and trying to fill the void with external sources personally never got me anywhere, and I think this might be for you too. 
The thing is you gotta stay a bit busy, and if you can it would be good to put gym or exercise atleast once or twice a week.
You will still feel shit a lot of the times, but you gotta allow that "yeah that's how I feel now but i'm still gonna go on with my day" and shift focus on what you're seeing right now or doing instead of beating yourself up. Not saying to think positive, but whenever a bad/negative trigger thought comes around it's important what you do about it. Ppl go through 10000 thoughts and many u just forget, and that can be with negative trigger thoughts as well - they will come but gotta not give it power and stay in present what you're doing now. You may feel bad a day but u gotta accept it's just a bad day and it won't harm you. Same with thoughts, they won't harm you, it feels absolutely shit but you got this and take as long time as you need - it's much better to get out of the rut. 

Don't put high expectation for where you should be or doing - you gotta work from where you are at. You need to be extra kind and forgving with yourself because it's not a pleasent period or a place to be when one is experiencing depressing feelings. 
It's not worth going to bad habits because it hurts you and I know it's hard because one is familiar with drinking etc and hard to break it, and you gotta make the choice to go the hard part every single day. It doesn't matter if you relapse, you gotta take yourself up, dust it away and keep going. I believe you will notice a shift with small changes, and you gotta allow having shit times but shift focus whenever bad trigger thoughts comes around because they will come. It's a long term project, but I believe you'll be content and even v happy a lot of the times but it's not a competiotion and take as long time you need. 
This is super helpful! 

Yeah my problem is I dont deal with negative emotions well, but I'm learning it's ok to feel like shit and it will pass, its how you cope with it 

Getting sober was kinda cool cuz it was the first time I had to feel my feelings and it hurt at first but I realized you dont feel like shit forever and it's really not that bad either tbh 

Yeah i think I expect too much, like I got an apartment and a car and shit but they're cheap and shitty and "I don't own a house" like ok that's alright I'm where I'm at and I'm doing my best I gotta remember that this is temporary, I gotta focus on what I have and what options are available and where to go from here, not all these idealistic shallow "shoulds" 

Idk I appreciate you taking the time to write that and I'm glad you picked yourself up from a not so great place 
Private
Princess of Pop



Anachronism wrote:
Versailles wrote:
You find happiness from within, which is the hard part. Drinking excessive and trying to fill the void with external sources personally never got me anywhere, and I think this might be for you too. 
The thing is you gotta stay a bit busy, and if you can it would be good to put gym or exercise atleast once or twice a week.
You will still feel shit a lot of the times, but you gotta allow that "yeah that's how I feel now but i'm still gonna go on with my day" and shift focus on what you're seeing right now or doing instead of beating yourself up. Not saying to think positive, but whenever a bad/negative trigger thought comes around it's important what you do about it. Ppl go through 10000 thoughts and many u just forget, and that can be with negative trigger thoughts as well - they will come but gotta not give it power and stay in present what you're doing now. You may feel bad a day but u gotta accept it's just a bad day and it won't harm you. Same with thoughts, they won't harm you, it feels absolutely shit but you got this and take as long time as you need - it's much better to get out of the rut. 

Don't put high expectation for where you should be or doing - you gotta work from where you are at. You need to be extra kind and forgving with yourself because it's not a pleasent period or a place to be when one is experiencing depressing feelings. 
It's not worth going to bad habits because it hurts you and I know it's hard because one is familiar with drinking etc and hard to break it, and you gotta make the choice to go the hard part every single day. It doesn't matter if you relapse, you gotta take yourself up, dust it away and keep going. I believe you will notice a shift with small changes, and you gotta allow having shit times but shift focus whenever bad trigger thoughts comes around because they will come. It's a long term project, but I believe you'll be content and even v happy a lot of the times but it's not a competiotion and take as long time you need. 
This is super helpful! 

Yeah my problem is I dont deal with negative emotions well, but I'm learning it's ok to feel like shit and it will pass, its how you cope with it 

Getting sober was kinda cool cuz it was the first time I had to feel my feelings and it hurt at first but I realized you dont feel like shit forever and it's really not that bad either tbh 

Yeah i think I expect too much, like I got an apartment and a car and shit but they're cheap and shitty and "I don't own a house" like ok that's alright I'm where I'm at and I'm doing my best I gotta remember that this is temporary, I gotta focus on what I have and what options are available and where to go from here, not all these idealistic shallow "shoulds" 

Idk I appreciate you taking the time to write that and I'm glad you picked yourself up from a not so great place 
Understandable, negative emotions are one heck of a ride to deal with and it can be unbearable a lot of the times it gets to the point it feels safer to do bad coping mechanism because it's familiar and 'easy route'. In reality it's the hard and harmful one; it's better to sit with it & let the worst pass. I think right after drinking are the worst, because of the withdrawal anxiety & depression creeping in but it's gonna be so much better afterwards.

Remember you're honestly not in a bad place other than depression etc. You got a job, you get to eat and have a roof over your head and got whole world and time ahead. I know the feeling of not being where you wish and comparing & beating up for it. But honestly it's the thoughts that are holding you back and make you feel like a failure when you're not.

It's honestly more of a mindset than a reality. (hopefully) you wouldn't judge me or think i'm a failure for renting cheap at my dads place in my mid twenties, barely can work etc, use tons of time in my bed, newly single when i thought i i was gonna move with someone I loved. It's because of having hard time and I work from there and not set unrealistic goals, and if so i'm only trying it out and see if I manage and if not it's nothing to beat oneself because of it.
Same goes to you, why would you judge yourself when you clearly having a hard time? You shouldn't, it's just circumstances and it's okay. Take one day at the time and always try to do what's the best for you, no matter if it makes difference in your mood there and then. 
I personally stopped with those "shoulds", because they don't serve me anything but making my mood absolute shit. I either plan small steps or just decide that i'm not gonna bully myself for something i can't achive because of life/health situation. Always be kind, and keep going. 

Hope it helps, it's always easier said than done and there's so much work and lots of fail behind this and it's a process. Still i'm not 'there' but truly feeling more living than the cycle of self hatred/hurt/desperation and apathy and it's a lot with how our thoughts are wired than how reality really is. 

Wish you the best and it's gonna be okay. 
 
Private
Princess of Pop



ugh it's 7 am here hope the stuff i wrote makes sense. 
Good night!! 
Anachronism
International star



Versailles wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Versailles wrote:
You find happiness from within, which is the hard part. Drinking excessive and trying to fill the void with external sources personally never got me anywhere, and I think this might be for you too. 
The thing is you gotta stay a bit busy, and if you can it would be good to put gym or exercise atleast once or twice a week.
You will still feel shit a lot of the times, but you gotta allow that "yeah that's how I feel now but i'm still gonna go on with my day" and shift focus on what you're seeing right now or doing instead of beating yourself up. Not saying to think positive, but whenever a bad/negative trigger thought comes around it's important what you do about it. Ppl go through 10000 thoughts and many u just forget, and that can be with negative trigger thoughts as well - they will come but gotta not give it power and stay in present what you're doing now. You may feel bad a day but u gotta accept it's just a bad day and it won't harm you. Same with thoughts, they won't harm you, it feels absolutely shit but you got this and take as long time as you need - it's much better to get out of the rut. 

Don't put high expectation for where you should be or doing - you gotta work from where you are at. You need to be extra kind and forgving with yourself because it's not a pleasent period or a place to be when one is experiencing depressing feelings. 
It's not worth going to bad habits because it hurts you and I know it's hard because one is familiar with drinking etc and hard to break it, and you gotta make the choice to go the hard part every single day. It doesn't matter if you relapse, you gotta take yourself up, dust it away and keep going. I believe you will notice a shift with small changes, and you gotta allow having shit times but shift focus whenever bad trigger thoughts comes around because they will come. It's a long term project, but I believe you'll be content and even v happy a lot of the times but it's not a competiotion and take as long time you need. 
This is super helpful! 

Yeah my problem is I dont deal with negative emotions well, but I'm learning it's ok to feel like shit and it will pass, its how you cope with it 

Getting sober was kinda cool cuz it was the first time I had to feel my feelings and it hurt at first but I realized you dont feel like shit forever and it's really not that bad either tbh 

Yeah i think I expect too much, like I got an apartment and a car and shit but they're cheap and shitty and "I don't own a house" like ok that's alright I'm where I'm at and I'm doing my best I gotta remember that this is temporary, I gotta focus on what I have and what options are available and where to go from here, not all these idealistic shallow "shoulds" 

Idk I appreciate you taking the time to write that and I'm glad you picked yourself up from a not so great place 
Understandable, negative emotions are one heck of a ride to deal with and it can be unbearable a lot of the times it gets to the point it feels safer to do bad coping mechanism because it's familiar and 'easy route'. In reality it's the hard and harmful one; it's better to sit with it & let the worst pass. I think right after drinking are the worst, because of the withdrawal anxiety & depression creeping in but it's gonna be so much better afterwards.

Remember you're honestly not in a bad place other than depression etc. You got a job, you get to eat and have a roof over your head and got whole world and time ahead. I know the feeling of not being where you wish and comparing & beating up for it. But honestly it's the thoughts that are holding you back and make you feel like a failure when you're not.

It's honestly more of a mindset than a reality. (hopefully) you wouldn't judge me or think i'm a failure for renting cheap at my dads place in my mid twenties, barely can work etc, use tons of time in my bed, newly single when i thought i i was gonna move with someone I loved. It's because of having hard time and I work from there and not set unrealistic goals, and if so i'm only trying it out and see if I manage and if not it's nothing to beat oneself because of it.
Same goes to you, why would you judge yourself when you clearly having a hard time? You shouldn't, it's just circumstances and it's okay. Take one day at the time and always try to do what's the best for you, no matter if it makes difference in your mood there and then. 
I personally stopped with those "shoulds", because they don't serve me anything but making my mood absolute shit. I either plan small steps or just decide that i'm not gonna bully myself for something i can't achive because of life/health situation. Always be kind, and keep going. 

Hope it helps, it's always easier said than done and there's so much work and lots of fail behind this and it's a process. Still i'm not 'there' but truly feeling more living than the cycle of self hatred/hurt/desperation and apathy and it's a lot with how our thoughts are wired than how reality really is. 

Wish you the best and it's gonna be okay. 
 
Im trying to not say things to myself I wouldn't say to others. I dont judge you for your position but if that were me I would hate myself. I hold others in a higher esteem than myself but it doesnt push me to work harder. It inspires me to self sabotage. It's a weird double standard I've set lol

Yeah, "shoulds" are not attainable. I'm trying to be more realistic than idealistic. 

It seems you've become adept at self compassion. Its hard to do but I'm working on it
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