Clegane wrote:
I dont wanna continue to bore people on vp with my relationship stuff
but I think the night-before-last's excessive drinking made something click in my brain
like that was the final straw
Before that, after his cheating, I knew I should break up, I'm not an idiot, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it
mentally I was still really stuck to him
Like I knew it was logical but my heart was still fully set
but then that happened and suddenly I was like "wtf am I even doing, why am I doing this to myself? This is a massive burden and toll on my mental health, a relationship should be a support not make me miserable..." etc
I keep thinking about the guy I've loved before, the one nothing really ended up happening with in the ends, as he moved
and I just keep thinking about what could have been
And about how I could see, what I imagined my future to be like, more with him...
He's not massively in debt, he lives a healthy lifestyle, he doesn't drink alcohol, we could have biologically children, he doesn't bash my interests or act like I'm a child sometimes, in fact we even share many interests and he's truly a wonderful man
except that he's more of a solitary being and
while I know this man had feelings for me at one point in time
Shouldn't it have been like "if something was meant to happen it would've happened"?
Maybe I need a break
Maybe I should just stop with men right now
The ones I've had in my life till now at least
But I'm stuck right now
And seemingly can't get over the dude I've loved before
Last year at this time I haven't even held hands with a man yet
and now I'm in this huge mess
I dont wanna continue to bore people on vp with my relationship stuff
but I think the night-before-last's excessive drinking made something click in my brain
like that was the final straw
Before that, after his cheating, I knew I should break up, I'm not an idiot, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it
mentally I was still really stuck to him
Like I knew it was logical but my heart was still fully set
but then that happened and suddenly I was like "wtf am I even doing, why am I doing this to myself? This is a massive burden and toll on my mental health, a relationship should be a support not make me miserable..." etc
I keep thinking about the guy I've loved before, the one nothing really ended up happening with in the ends, as he moved
and I just keep thinking about what could have been
And about how I could see, what I imagined my future to be like, more with him...
He's not massively in debt, he lives a healthy lifestyle, he doesn't drink alcohol, we could have biologically children, he doesn't bash my interests or act like I'm a child sometimes, in fact we even share many interests and he's truly a wonderful man
except that he's more of a solitary being and
while I know this man had feelings for me at one point in time
Shouldn't it have been like "if something was meant to happen it would've happened"?
Maybe I need a break
Maybe I should just stop with men right now
The ones I've had in my life till now at least
But I'm stuck right now
And seemingly can't get over the dude I've loved before
Last year at this time I haven't even held hands with a man yet
and now I'm in this huge mess