TW: Mention of ed - Forum - Virtual Popstar

Pitbull
Popstar

Pitbull wrote:
Something i've noticed in my life is that i've never had a peaceful and "normal" relationship with food. It probably comes from having had anorexia for around 10-11 years now. In that period I went from totalt restriction, bulimic tendencies, to overall having a very black and white view on food.

I do not hold that much back but often do restrict and limit myself, only to get episodes where i will eat *everything*

Like i will eat the entire plate/serving because in my very...disordered head i'm "allowed" so therefore I have to finish it as the guilt somehow isn't there. Even if I order food I will et until it physically hurts. and then afterwards have like a "i will eat clean this entire week" which is still a fucking eating disorder.

It's exhausting and sometimes I get stressed about food still, like just know I spent 45 min trying to figure out what i should get only to just give up and have a coffee instead.

Will it ever get normal? what is normal even? It's hard to know what normal is when you can't even remember what it used to be like.

Private
World Famous

Rotte wrote:
It's hard, but never impossible, i hope the best for you!

Private
National Star

kagura wrote:
bruhh i don't know if there's even such a thing than normal relationship with food honestly. who can even say what is normal way to eat since that is something that totally depends on where you from, your culture, morals etc

Private
Popstar

ouch wrote:
U will probably get "normal" ish or at least to the point where u don't let thoughts dictate ur actions anymore but. I had restrictive ed before (not for more than a year active restricting tho) and I still think I shouldn't eat, but idk. I go through periods of not caring at all, to thinking I should start restricting again to eating way too much. Tiring, but nowadays I just eat very little (often by mistake tho, cus I forget) or I eat way too much cus weed is cursing my brain smh. But still, I am a LOT better now, I don't freak out n puke if I eat too much, I eat when im abt to pass out, I eat a healthy amount generally even tho I might not feel like it

Private
Popstar

ouch wrote:

ouch wrote:
U will probably get "normal" ish or at least to the point where u don't let thoughts dictate ur actions anymore but. I had restrictive ed before (not for more than a year active restricting tho) and I still think I shouldn't eat, but idk. I go through periods of not caring at all, to thinking I should start restricting again to eating way too much. Tiring, but nowadays I just eat very little (often by mistake tho, cus I forget) or I eat way too much cus weed is cursing my brain smh. But still, I am a LOT better now, I don't freak out n puke if I eat too much, I eat when im abt to pass out, I eat a healthy amount generally even tho I might not feel like it

Yes me too often
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Alam
World Famous

Alam wrote:

kagura wrote:
bruhh i don't know if there's even such a thing than normal relationship with food honestly. who can even say what is normal way to eat since that is something that totally depends on where you from, your culture, morals etc

No there definitely is a normal relationship with food. Normal not as in average, normal as in healthy.