i met my ex - Forum - Virtual Popstar

Cobain
International star

cobain wrote:
it was rly sad
we haven't met since we broke up. have not seen him for 1½ months and it was so strange seeing him again. somehow i thought to myself i wouldn't cry but as soon as i saw him my eyes filled up with tears

it was nice seeing him tho.... we just catched up a bit and all that and it was nice. we hugged and i started bawling my eyes out. i realized how much i've missed him then, you know? i feel like it has been surprisingly easy for me to distance myself from all of this when i haven't seen him. but i don't think it was bad that we met. we had some stuff we had to give back to each other. and we are neighbors so we were inevitably gonna see each other at some point and i'd rather it be at home than at the grocery store.
we hugged a lot bc it was just really nice. and sad. i think we both needed that (but also we don't bc we're trying to get over each other but i mean, it's so fresh n we need comfort i guess). talked a bit about the breakup and he seems to understand in a way. he said he doesn't understand but that he doesn't need to understand, and he probably never will, since i feel what i feel and that has nothing to do with him, bc they're MY feelings etc

it was nice tho. it was. now my entire apartment smells like him so i'm gonna have to deal w that for a while n be sad but oh well

Private
World famous

Claire wrote:
light a candle

Cobain
International star

cobain wrote:

Claire wrote:
light a candle

yeah i might actually
i smoke out my window too so maybe that's gonna take over his smell too

Alam
World famous

Alam wrote:

Claire wrote:
light a candle

Cobain
International star

cobain wrote:
and ofc our relationship wasn't all bad. faaaaaar from it
he is so so supportive and comforting which has always been what i admire about him the most. he can just handle any situation so flawlessly, know exactly what do to and what to say. also the funniest fucking person i've ever met, made me laugh like no other. i can go on but i'm just gonna hurt my own feelings if i do so let's not do that lol bad idea

i don't regret breaking up with him but it's sad that we didn't work out

Private
World famous

Versailles wrote:
Sounds like a good goodbye, glad you got your stuff!
It's going to be okay

Cobain
International star

cobain wrote:
we talked a bit about this "fear" of bumping into each other. we've both thought about it when we're out n about and in the store n shit, like how we'd react and what we'd say. he told me he's started walking behind my apartment building to go to the store lol, bc he needs to walk past my building to get to the store and usually you'd walk in front of the building. but yeah. i've actually thought to myself that maybe he's done that and i understand why. every time i go to/from work i walk past his building and i look towards the door the entire time, just in case he'd walk out, so i wouldn't be startled or smth.
and series and movies, we've both avoided watching certain things bc we know it's something we would have def watched together and enjoyed, and it'd make us sad watching it on our own. and stuff we never finished watching that we haven't been able to continue on our own. he joked a bit about it, we had this one series we both looooved, we got through like half of it but now neither of us can finish that shit. sucky.

it's not like i ever thought to myself that he wasn't going thru shit bc i know he is lol, i broke up with him ffs. but it was nice relating to each other n realizing we're really just going through the same fucking thing here lol

Cobain
International star

cobain wrote:

Versailles wrote:
Sounds like a good goodbye, glad you got your stuff!
It's going to be okay

we didn't get everything back but the most important things at least so like, we can live without the rest but if we ever need any of it back we could just give it back. we've ripped off the bandaid now so it doesn't feel horrible to see each other again. maybe it's not great to see each other a bunch when we're trying to move on lol. not planning on seeing each other a lot tho. mainly just if we need stuff back n maybe a friendly catching up or smth. we both realize we need time n space and to be friends rn wouldn't work, would hurt too much and make the process even longer.
lots of love to u!!!!

Private
Streetmusician

kruspersille wrote:
has it been one and a half month already!!! wth!!1

Private
World famous

Versailles wrote:

cobain wrote:

Versailles wrote:
Sounds like a good goodbye, glad you got your stuff!
It's going to be okay

we didn't get everything back but the most important things at least so like, we can live without the rest but if we ever need any of it back we could just give it back. we've ripped off the bandaid now so it doesn't feel horrible to see each other again. maybe it's not great to see each other a bunch when we're trying to move on lol. not planning on seeing each other a lot tho. mainly just if we need stuff back n maybe a friendly catching up or smth. we both realize we need time n space and to be friends rn wouldn't work, would hurt too much and make the process even longer.
lots of love to u!!!!

Good, just hope he still won't be shitty if you got some of his stuff. I just remember the key situation when it was weekend and he got very weird about it. But hope you both are on friendly note and can work on being on your own and keep going!

Cobain
International star

cobain wrote:

kruspersille wrote:
has it been one and a half month already!!! wth!!1

i think it's EXACTLY one and a half month today omg
but yeah, crazy. i both feel like it was yesterday and a year ago lol

Cobain
International star

cobain wrote:

Versailles wrote:

cobain wrote:

Versailles wrote:
Sounds like a good goodbye, glad you got your stuff!
It's going to be okay

we didn't get everything back but the most important things at least so like, we can live without the rest but if we ever need any of it back we could just give it back. we've ripped off the bandaid now so it doesn't feel horrible to see each other again. maybe it's not great to see each other a bunch when we're trying to move on lol. not planning on seeing each other a lot tho. mainly just if we need stuff back n maybe a friendly catching up or smth. we both realize we need time n space and to be friends rn wouldn't work, would hurt too much and make the process even longer.
lots of love to u!!!!

Good, just hope he still won't be shitty if you got some of his stuff. I just remember the key situation when it was weekend and he got very weird about it. But hope you both are on friendly note and can work on being on your own and keep going!

i really hope he won't, but i don't think so after this. now he could see with his own two eyes that this affected me as well, that my feelings are sincere, you know? so i'm not just sitting behind a screen telling him shit's hard. i mean he has thought that i just wanted to get rid of him and that i feel like i'm finally free now. but he's said that when he's been very upset and hurt tho, maybe he didn't actually think like that, maybe just saying things in affect.
and i only have his hammer left at my place. if he gets riled up over a hammer........ lol
i only have like a dress left at his i think. i said he could keep it, use as pyjamas lmfao. he does still have my dad's ukulele he got to borrow, but i actually think they'd both be willing to see each other on their own bc they loved each other. so maybe they can sort it out that way, but yeah otherwise we can just see each other n i can get it back

Cobain
International star

cobain wrote:
he sent me a long text in the middle of the night
he said he was scared i was gonna misunderstand, he said it several times throughout the text. he said smth about how it feels wrong to purposefully kill our feelings that we obviously have for each other and that we have something special, and that we both know it. but also that he wasn't trying to get me back, or make me try to change my mind or make me doubt my decision. he was very clear w that, that he understands, respects and accepts my decision. and that he's not trying to make me believe he's found a "good" solution to make us get back together etc.

i'm not sure what he was trying to say tbh. bc it feels a bit contradictory to say it's wrong to kill our feelings but then say that he's not trying to make us get back together. idk he said he had some more things to say and that he'd like to talk about it some time. it makes me a bit scared, idk why. obviously he's telling me he's not trying to make me change my mind but......

Private
World famous

Versailles wrote:

cobain wrote:
he sent me a long text in the middle of the night
he said he was scared i was gonna misunderstand, he said it several times throughout the text. he said smth about how it feels wrong to purposefully kill our feelings that we obviously have for each other and that we have something special, and that we both know it. but also that he wasn't trying to get me back, or make me try to change my mind or make me doubt my decision. he was very clear w that, that he understands, respects and accepts my decision. and that he's not trying to make me believe he's found a "good" solution to make us get back together etc.

i'm not sure what he was trying to say tbh. bc it feels a bit contradictory to say it's wrong to kill our feelings but then say that he's not trying to make us get back together. idk he said he had some more things to say and that he'd like to talk about it some time. it makes me a bit scared, idk why. obviously he's telling me he's not trying to make me change my mind but......

Seems unproductive to not kill the feelings tho?? it will not happen overnight and it's ok to love someone from a distance until that type of attraction fades. Doesn't mean someone doesn't care about one another.
He wants you to change your mind, it's normal when one is dumped and wanna try make it work. He should rather journal his thoughts and feelings and have either no contact or low contact to help move on. Closure comes from within.