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what have i done
Drapetomania
National star



Drapetomania wrote:
cobain wrote:
TimotheeShampoo wrote:
cobain wrote:
we've sent a few messages to each other. like very few bc i respond slow af bc I DONT WANNA...... GIVE HIM IDEAS but we're still coworkers and i can't just avoid ofc?? keepin it friendly
sent him a pic of my knee which is like entirely blue ( :
so he sent me a pic but i haven't opened it yet, but i see in the msg preview he said that our other coworker sent him pics. i'm so scared that it is of us making out please i can't do this there's literally photo proof of me and all the 3 coworkers i've fucked in that case what the hell. why do ppl do that???? why is it so fun taking pics of me and dudes STOP!
Oh that just took a turn, but like... Honestly, who cares that things happened with others before, right? Don't worry too much about it, I guess
yeah it's just.... i'm tryuing to shake off the feeling that i'm the slut of our workplace lol
slut in general. i don't care at all about others sex life and what they do, who they fuck or how many, but i feel disgusting bc i spread my legs everywhere i go. its like self destruction, self harm in a way i guess idk, i dont need photos of that shit, esp not in the hands of others : ( 
im just rambling lol im anxious as fuck
I get that you don't want pictures of it, I absolutely understand that, but you mustn't blame yourself for the pictures and the way you behave. Do you think you need help for it, if you say it's like a self destruction, are you willing to look for help? Idk, this may sound really harsh, I absolutely don't mean it in that way, but there are people out there that can help you
13
Posts: 695
Date: 01-11-2021 21:47
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
TimotheeShampoo wrote:
cobain wrote:
TimotheeShampoo wrote:
Oh that just took a turn, but like... Honestly, who cares that things happened with others before, right? Don't worry too much about it, I guess
yeah it's just.... i'm tryuing to shake off the feeling that i'm the slut of our workplace lol
slut in general. i don't care at all about others sex life and what they do, who they fuck or how many, but i feel disgusting bc i spread my legs everywhere i go. its like self destruction, self harm in a way i guess idk, i dont need photos of that shit, esp not in the hands of others : ( 
im just rambling lol im anxious as fuck
I get that you don't want pictures of it, I absolutely understand that, but you mustn't blame yourself for the pictures and the way you behave. Do you think you need help for it, if you say it's like a self destruction, are you willing to look for help? Idk, this may sound really harsh, I absolutely don't mean it in that way, but there are people out there that can help you
actually earlier today i was looking up psychologists and counselors in my area but it's very hard finding one, i realized. lol
bc i've known for a very long time that i have issues w sex and everything surrounding it. had many breakdowns in the past bc i feel so fucked up lmfaoooo. i've just gotten out of a relationship and i've been "calm" during the entire year, like it's not like i had this desire to go out and fuck someone else or that i struggled in any way to be faithful. absolutely not.
but idk it's like my issues have been put on ice for a year and they've just came flooding back. tricked myself into thinking i'm "healthy" just bc i had a boyfriend or some shit
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 01-11-2021 21:59
Drapetomania
National star



Drapetomania wrote:
cobain wrote:
TimotheeShampoo wrote:
cobain wrote:
yeah it's just.... i'm tryuing to shake off the feeling that i'm the slut of our workplace lol
slut in general. i don't care at all about others sex life and what they do, who they fuck or how many, but i feel disgusting bc i spread my legs everywhere i go. its like self destruction, self harm in a way i guess idk, i dont need photos of that shit, esp not in the hands of others : ( 
im just rambling lol im anxious as fuck
I get that you don't want pictures of it, I absolutely understand that, but you mustn't blame yourself for the pictures and the way you behave. Do you think you need help for it, if you say it's like a self destruction, are you willing to look for help? Idk, this may sound really harsh, I absolutely don't mean it in that way, but there are people out there that can help you
actually earlier today i was looking up psychologists and counselors in my area but it's very hard finding one, i realized. lol
bc i've known for a very long time that i have issues w sex and everything surrounding it. had many breakdowns in the past bc i feel so fucked up lmfaoooo. i've just gotten out of a relationship and i've been "calm" during the entire year, like it's not like i had this desire to go out and fuck someone else or that i struggled in any way to be faithful. absolutely not.
but idk it's like my issues have been put on ice for a year and they've just came flooding back. tricked myself into thinking i'm "healthy" just bc i had a boyfriend or some shit
Yeah I understand that struggle, it's really hard finding someone and when you do you can only hope that it clicks with that person. But don't give up, I bet there's someone out there that can help you. Also, if you ever wanna talk or rant to a random stranger on the internet I'm just a message away!
13
Posts: 695
Date: 01-11-2021 22:20
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
TimotheeShampoo wrote:
cobain wrote:
TimotheeShampoo wrote:
I get that you don't want pictures of it, I absolutely understand that, but you mustn't blame yourself for the pictures and the way you behave. Do you think you need help for it, if you say it's like a self destruction, are you willing to look for help? Idk, this may sound really harsh, I absolutely don't mean it in that way, but there are people out there that can help you
actually earlier today i was looking up psychologists and counselors in my area but it's very hard finding one, i realized. lol
bc i've known for a very long time that i have issues w sex and everything surrounding it. had many breakdowns in the past bc i feel so fucked up lmfaoooo. i've just gotten out of a relationship and i've been "calm" during the entire year, like it's not like i had this desire to go out and fuck someone else or that i struggled in any way to be faithful. absolutely not.
but idk it's like my issues have been put on ice for a year and they've just came flooding back. tricked myself into thinking i'm "healthy" just bc i had a boyfriend or some shit
Yeah I understand that struggle, it's really hard finding someone and when you do you can only hope that it clicks with that person. But don't give up, I bet there's someone out there that can help you. Also, if you ever wanna talk or rant to a random stranger on the internet I'm just a message away!
i'll keep looking tho! but chances are that by the time i've found someone/gotten an appointment i'll be in denial about it again looool
thank you, you sweet sweet person! ♡♡
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 01-11-2021 22:25
Drapetomania
National star



Drapetomania wrote:
cobain wrote:
TimotheeShampoo wrote:
cobain wrote:
actually earlier today i was looking up psychologists and counselors in my area but it's very hard finding one, i realized. lol
bc i've known for a very long time that i have issues w sex and everything surrounding it. had many breakdowns in the past bc i feel so fucked up lmfaoooo. i've just gotten out of a relationship and i've been "calm" during the entire year, like it's not like i had this desire to go out and fuck someone else or that i struggled in any way to be faithful. absolutely not.
but idk it's like my issues have been put on ice for a year and they've just came flooding back. tricked myself into thinking i'm "healthy" just bc i had a boyfriend or some shit
Yeah I understand that struggle, it's really hard finding someone and when you do you can only hope that it clicks with that person. But don't give up, I bet there's someone out there that can help you. Also, if you ever wanna talk or rant to a random stranger on the internet I'm just a message away!
i'll keep looking tho! but chances are that by the time i've found someone/gotten an appointment i'll be in denial about it again looool
thank you, you sweet sweet person! ♡♡
Ah yes, finding someone and then actually going through it can be really hard, but once you've made that first step it'll be more than worth it! 
And always!! <33
13
Posts: 695
Date: 01-11-2021 22:28
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
OK so he's not working my shift at least and I'm quite relieved over that. Meeting my coworkers has not been so bad as I thought it'd be lol we've talked a bit about the night n shit. One of my coworkers (who got thrown out of the club LOL) was like "so he followed you home" n I was like hah yeah...... idk if she meant he just walked me home or if he came home w me but whatever if she doesn't know we fucked that's fine by me. He's probably gonna tell her tho cuz they're quite close. She asked me if I'm a bit into him and I was like "idk dude idk" and she was like "yes you aaaare! He's super sweet!" n stuff lol ill see if we'll talk more about it, maybe I can vent a bit to her

Oh and the pic he sent me wasn't a making out pic but I was like clinging onto him for dear life and you can see in my entire face that I'm in another dimension lmfao
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 02-11-2021 10:02
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
LOL another coworker asked a bit about the night and she asked if i got a ride home and i said i walked home. she was like "NOOO you can't walk alone at night like that, that's so dangerous!!!!!" and i was like "it's fine, *** followed me" and she was like "oh what a gentleman!" and then a bit later she was like "did he spend the night" n i told her yes 
i mean i can't lie if someone asks you know? bc idk who he'll tell or whatever and it's weird if i'm like "noooo" and later he says he did. ugh. she got INSANELY happy about it tho, she said she loved that for me and she was suuuper happy etc etc. i told her she can't tell anyone tho and she said she wouldn't (she's the only one who knows about my ex, that he used to work there, she worked w him too).
idk what she thinks it is between us but oh well. i'm scared that if i hurt him they'll look at me differently and dislike me. but knowing her she'll ask me more questions about it when we're alone and then i can actually tell her my situation. she knows i recently broke up with my ex and i feel she'd be very understanding tbh
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 02-11-2021 17:28
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
Pls we are both working the entire night, WITH THE BOSS
this is so awkward I'm gonna die I can barely look at him and I feel like an asshole but what am I supposed to do u know fuck 😭😭😭😭
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 03-11-2021 15:42
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
ok it got better after a while : //
but still omgfdklgjdfg we work together tomorrow too iodslkjldgjgggggggg

there's this lady that adores him, fully in love w him lol, she was angry at him today bc she was jealous when he helped other ppl. but she was super sweet to me. she refused to take medicine when he gave it to her so i tried giving it to her and she accepted without issues. he was like "nah that's it, we're done" to her. then he pointed to me and was like "this is my girlfriend now" n i was like 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅 hhhhhhhhwhat😅😅😅😅
then he said it again later on when lady was angry at him but sweet to me
i GUESS and HOPE it was a joke but omg awkward
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 03-11-2021 19:27
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
Nice vibes today so now i wanna fuck him again


Maybe......... we'll see
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 04-11-2021 17:16
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
nice vibes today too ...... his curly hair.... and when he gets warm n a bit sweaty hehahghdsfhfdjh
and his eyes heahfskdgfskhhfj
and he winks at me so much heahsbfhsdkjh
he winked at me b4 we fucked too but not like this ugh
def wanna fuck him again

altho he asked me if i wanna come to a party tomorrow but i don't wanna LOL i don't wanna involve myself in anything, also not in the mood 4 partying. but i can fantasize thats fine
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 05-11-2021 16:42
Account deleted




wrote:
cobain wrote:
plan b is taken, anxiety level is 100%, hungover as shit
i've only been single 2 fucking months. i feel bad towards my ex idk. it feels disrespectful for some reason. and i didn't want to jump into bed w someone this soon and esp not another coworker !!!!!!!

also i have NO idea what my coworker wants lol. if he just wanna casually see each other or if he's thinking about a relationship bc i don't wanna be in a relationship lol. i don't even know if i want to see him casually either. OHHHHHHH i'm dreading going to work on tuesday
It's find if you want to take things casual, nothing wrong with that. Just try to choose someone who is not in your workplace haha
But I get it. I only did stuff with people I meet at college because, where else do I meet people?
Date: 05-11-2021 16:57
Account deleted




wrote:
Also, please keep doing stuff like this because reading this is better then watching dramas
Date: 05-11-2021 16:59
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
NOface wrote:
cobain wrote:
plan b is taken, anxiety level is 100%, hungover as shit
i've only been single 2 fucking months. i feel bad towards my ex idk. it feels disrespectful for some reason. and i didn't want to jump into bed w someone this soon and esp not another coworker !!!!!!!

also i have NO idea what my coworker wants lol. if he just wanna casually see each other or if he's thinking about a relationship bc i don't wanna be in a relationship lol. i don't even know if i want to see him casually either. OHHHHHHH i'm dreading going to work on tuesday
It's find if you want to take things casual, nothing wrong with that. Just try to choose someone who is not in your workplace haha
But I get it. I only did stuff with people I meet at college because, where else do I meet people?
RIGHT, also when u are w someone so much as in school/work then yeah its gonna get steamy
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 05-11-2021 17:51
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
NOface wrote:
Also, please keep doing stuff like this because reading this is better then watching dramas
LOL rly??? i think i'm boring as fuck nd just ramble on and on 
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 05-11-2021 17:52
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