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how do i tell my partner
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
i'm not sober?

long story short im an alcoholic or w/e

they're coming home from a trip on tuesday. thought it would have been longer than that

thing is they have no understanding at all
for example thinks if i was depressed its another thing because then "i't not my choice"

and things its unfair if im never sober bc then we cant do things


and before they left i asked are you worried if i stop going to the addiction clincic and they said no because its not like you dont have control over your life
hah ha ha

basically does not understand addiction and no matter how many times i say i wish i could stop feeling this way and the main thing with addiction the loss of control

im just worried im going to get a big scolding and theyre going to be angry and take it personal


also i asked my best friend if she wanted to go to a bar this weekend and the was just like sure :d didnt even comment that i had been sober for a while o well


and honestly this worry just makes me want to keep drinking and i aim to quit but yea idk
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 04-11-2021 16:03
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
'cause i'm thinking like performings a song about alcohol in simlish
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 04-11-2021 16:12
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Barbarella wrote:
I mean, it's a very real possibility that your partner will not be able to stick with you through this. 
As a former partner of an alcoholic, it takes a toll and eventually we just can't do it anymore. 
I'm not saying it to be hateful or malicious, but there does come a point where it takes so much of a toll on our mental health we just can't handle it.
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 04-11-2021 16:14
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
I mean, it's a very real possibility that your partner will not be able to stick with you through this. 
As a former partner of an alcoholic, it takes a toll and eventually we just can't do it anymore. 
I'm not saying it to be hateful or malicious, but there does come a point where it takes so much of a toll on our mental health we just can't handle it.
you can't really compare your relationship to mine tho
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 04-11-2021 16:21
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
i mean i also have the option to not say anything at all i guess but i'd rather be honest
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 04-11-2021 16:25
Private
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Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
I mean, it's a very real possibility that your partner will not be able to stick with you through this. 
As a former partner of an alcoholic, it takes a toll and eventually we just can't do it anymore. 
I'm not saying it to be hateful or malicious, but there does come a point where it takes so much of a toll on our mental health we just can't handle it.
you can't really compare your relationship to mine tho
definitely not, I don't know your full situation, nor do I want to. 
But if someone can watch their partner destroying themselves without it hurting, they must have a superpower...
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 04-11-2021 16:25
Private
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ouch wrote:
I would just tell them n if he they want to leave, they can 
16
Posts: 95491
Date: 04-11-2021 16:26
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
I mean, it's a very real possibility that your partner will not be able to stick with you through this. 
As a former partner of an alcoholic, it takes a toll and eventually we just can't do it anymore. 
I'm not saying it to be hateful or malicious, but there does come a point where it takes so much of a toll on our mental health we just can't handle it.
you can't really compare your relationship to mine tho
definitely not, I don't know your full situation, nor do I want to. 
But if someone can watch their partner destroying themselves without it hurting, they must have a superpower...
you seem to think/assume i plan on continuing drinking
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 04-11-2021 16:26
Private
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Melody wrote:
tough pickle indeed

as someone extremely anti-alcohol due to being raised by alcoholics, i couldn't see myself dating someone who drank just to get drunk. if this person knew u were in this situation before u began dating, then they should have some understanding, no? but if they love u, i'd assume they're more worried than actually angry at u
19
Posts: 8468
Date: 04-11-2021 16:27
Private
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Claire wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
I mean, it's a very real possibility that your partner will not be able to stick with you through this. 
As a former partner of an alcoholic, it takes a toll and eventually we just can't do it anymore. 
I'm not saying it to be hateful or malicious, but there does come a point where it takes so much of a toll on our mental health we just can't handle it.
Staying with an addict is self harm tbh
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 04-11-2021 16:27
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
Claire wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
I mean, it's a very real possibility that your partner will not be able to stick with you through this. 
As a former partner of an alcoholic, it takes a toll and eventually we just can't do it anymore. 
I'm not saying it to be hateful or malicious, but there does come a point where it takes so much of a toll on our mental health we just can't handle it.
Staying with an addict is self harm tbh
so addicts doesn't deserve love?
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 04-11-2021 16:27
Private
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Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
you can't really compare your relationship to mine tho
definitely not, I don't know your full situation, nor do I want to. 
But if someone can watch their partner destroying themselves without it hurting, they must have a superpower...
you seem to think/assume i plan on continuing drinking
No don't, I've been following your posts, and I've had enough friends in recovery to know there are ebbs and flows to it. 
I'm rooting for you, truly, and I hope your partner is strong enough to make it through with you. 
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 04-11-2021 16:28
Private
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Barbarella wrote:
Claire wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
I mean, it's a very real possibility that your partner will not be able to stick with you through this. 
As a former partner of an alcoholic, it takes a toll and eventually we just can't do it anymore. 
I'm not saying it to be hateful or malicious, but there does come a point where it takes so much of a toll on our mental health we just can't handle it.
Staying with an addict is self harm tbh
for me it definitely was.

since then I've had to cut off several addict friends for my own mental health, but I always offer second chances if the behavior has legitimately changed. I actually had an old friend reach out to me for the first time this week after a year of sobriety. 
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 04-11-2021 16:29
Private
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Claire wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Claire wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
I mean, it's a very real possibility that your partner will not be able to stick with you through this. 
As a former partner of an alcoholic, it takes a toll and eventually we just can't do it anymore. 
I'm not saying it to be hateful or malicious, but there does come a point where it takes so much of a toll on our mental health we just can't handle it.
Staying with an addict is self harm tbh
so addicts doesn't deserve love?
I didn’t say that. You’re not entitled to be loved by someone who is harmed by your addiction. 
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 04-11-2021 16:29
Private
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Barbarella wrote:
Claire wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Claire wrote:
Staying with an addict is self harm tbh
so addicts doesn't deserve love?
I didn’t say that. You’re not entitled to be loved by someone who is harmed by your addiction. 
That's good phrasing - your partner is a whole person, the main character in their own life, who has to make choices that are best for them
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 04-11-2021 16:30
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Claire wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Claire wrote:
Staying with an addict is self harm tbh
so addicts doesn't deserve love?
I didn’t say that. You’re not entitled to be loved by someone who is harmed by your addiction. 
If they wan't to stay with me it's for them to decide. I know I can be sober and I know I'm great when I am
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 04-11-2021 16:32
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