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Toxic mother (-parent)
Private
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Samfie wrote:
Do you have em?
And have u ever confronted them?

I just confronted my mum today, for the first time in 25 years
-not a too great of a start -but it’s a start

wish me luck

any tips?
18
Posts: 7558
Date: 14-11-2021 03:53 | Times changed: 3
Private
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liv wrote:
kind of but i rarely confront her
i feel bad saying my mom is toxic bc shes done so much for me but she lowkey is
18
Posts: 3544
Date: 14-11-2021 03:59
Alam
World famous



Alam wrote:
I think the word you're looking for is abusive.
20
Posts: 23097
Date: 14-11-2021 04:01
Private
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Samfie wrote:
vives wrote:
kind of but i rarely confront her
i feel bad saying my mom is toxic bc shes done so much for me but she lowkey is
Saaame~ I have looots of love for my mum as I know most of her story -I wouldn’t wosh that upon anyone!!
Just told her me n my sister needed to hear about «our dad», not «her former boyfriend who where toxic», for once….. for ONCE….

I’m so sorry :’ccc
do you guys still have a constructive relation?
18
Posts: 7558
Date: 14-11-2021 04:04
SweetLapis
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SweetLapis wrote:
Hate calling my mother toxic but she is sometimes. It's an on and off thing.
Fortunately, we've been on good terms as of lately. I've confronted her a few times, sometimes things go somewhere, other times everything goes south. Best thing I  can tell you, especially if your not good with words nor the confrontational type is to think of what you wanna say. and keep control of your emotions like don't get upset or mad when confronting her if she says something that's gets under your skin.
19
Posts: 1597
Date: 14-11-2021 04:04
Private
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Samfie wrote:
Alam wrote:
I think the word you're looking for is abusive.
:’)
18
Posts: 7558
Date: 14-11-2021 04:04
SweetLapis
World famous



SweetLapis wrote:
SweetLapis wrote:
Hate calling my mother toxic but she is sometimes. It's an on and off thing.
Fortunately, we've been on good terms as of lately. I've confronted her a few times, sometimes things go somewhere, other times everything goes south. Best thing I  can tell you, especially if your not good with words nor the confrontational type is to think of what you wanna say. and keep control of your emotions like don't get upset or mad when confronting her if she says something that's gets under your skin.
Wish you the best of luck.
19
Posts: 1597
Date: 14-11-2021 04:04
Private
Popstar



ouch wrote:
Alam wrote:
I think the word you're looking for is abusive.
Eh idk, I would call my parents toxic sometimes but they r not abusive, can't speak for op obv but toxic parent doesn't automatically mean abusive 
16
Posts: 95491
Date: 14-11-2021 04:06
Private
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Rotte wrote:
Samfie wrote:
vives wrote:
kind of but i rarely confront her
i feel bad saying my mom is toxic bc shes done so much for me but she lowkey is
Saaame~ I have looots of love for my mum as I know most of her story -I wouldn’t wosh that upon anyone!!
Just told her me n my sister needed to hear about «our dad», not «her former boyfriend who where toxic», for once….. for ONCE….

I’m so sorry :’ccc
do you guys still have a constructive relation?
They need to hear that for sure! I straight up told my parents that i don't want to hear any bullshit, that if they want to talk smack, they can talk to someone else. It still slip sometimes, but i remind them i do not want to hear it!
21
Posts: 70325
Date: 14-11-2021 04:07
Private
International star



Samfie wrote:
Today was a rough day… my mother almost slapped me. My friend almosy slapped my mum. I’m good with words. It just didn’t go any way today: At least we were able to agree on talking on the subject another say. @SweetLapis 
18
Posts: 7558
Date: 14-11-2021 04:08
Alam
World famous



Alam wrote:
ouch wrote:
Alam wrote:
I think the word you're looking for is abusive.
Eh idk, I would call my parents toxic sometimes but they r not abusive, can't speak for op obv but toxic parent doesn't automatically mean abusive 
I feel like people have very different definitions of toxic. Like, maybe you don't like your parents, maybe they can be mean or rude or whatever sometimes but that doesn't make them toxic, that makes them people.
20
Posts: 23097
Date: 14-11-2021 04:11
Private
International star



Samfie wrote:
Angelica wrote:
Samfie wrote:
vives wrote:
kind of but i rarely confront her
i feel bad saying my mom is toxic bc shes done so much for me but she lowkey is
Saaame~ I have looots of love for my mum as I know most of her story -I wouldn’t wosh that upon anyone!!
Just told her me n my sister needed to hear about «our dad», not «her former boyfriend who where toxic», for once….. for ONCE….

I’m so sorry :’ccc
do you guys still have a constructive relation?
They need to hear that for sure! I straight up told my parents that i don't want to hear any bullshit, that if they want to talk smack, they can talk to someone else. It still slip sometimes, but i remind them i do not want to hear it!
That’s what I wanted to promote tonight aswell. Didn’t go as I wanted. Got too emotonal (from my mother’s part). It’s a process I guess
18
Posts: 7558
Date: 14-11-2021 04:11
SweetLapis
World famous



SweetLapis wrote:
Samfie wrote:
Today was a rough day… my mother almost slapped me. My friend almosy slapped my mum. I’m good with words. It just didn’t go any way today: At least we were able to agree on talking on the subject another say. @SweetLapis 
Oh shit. Glad she didn't actually lay a hand on you, I don't know how old you are, but no matter what she shouldn't lay her hands on you like that even if she is your mother. Getting physical isn't productive. 
I seriously hope your talk with her goes well, and maybe even consider laying down boundaries that you won't tolerate her doing stuff like that.
19
Posts: 1597
Date: 14-11-2021 04:16
Private
World famous



Rotte wrote:
Samfie wrote:
Angelica wrote:
Samfie wrote:
Saaame~ I have looots of love for my mum as I know most of her story -I wouldn’t wosh that upon anyone!!
Just told her me n my sister needed to hear about «our dad», not «her former boyfriend who where toxic», for once….. for ONCE….

I’m so sorry :’ccc
do you guys still have a constructive relation?
They need to hear that for sure! I straight up told my parents that i don't want to hear any bullshit, that if they want to talk smack, they can talk to someone else. It still slip sometimes, but i remind them i do not want to hear it!
That’s what I wanted to promote tonight aswell. Didn’t go as I wanted. Got too emotonal (from my mother’s part). It’s a process I guess
It can be hard no doubt, some people really also are just to stubborn to hear or want to turn it around. Got to hold on too the argument that, hey this hurts me and you need to stop. I hope that you get the power again to tell her and that you can hopefully get her to tone it down a little! 
21
Posts: 70325
Date: 14-11-2021 04:17
Private
International star



Samfie wrote:
SweetLapis wrote:
Samfie wrote:
Today was a rough day… my mother almost slapped me. My friend almosy slapped my mum. I’m good with words. It just didn’t go any way today: At least we were able to agree on talking on the subject another say. @SweetLapis 
Oh shit. Glad she didn't actually lay a hand on you, I don't know how old you are, but no matter what she shouldn't lay her hands on you like that even if she is your mother. Getting physical isn't productive. 
I seriously hope your talk with her goes well, and maybe even consider laying down boundaries that you won't tolerate her doing stuff like that.
I’m 25, so I’d be ok -but it is never ok none the less!! We try. It’s a process. I just want a mum for once unknow, not just a friend. It hopefully will, I guess it’s just new to her that I talk my shit instead of being gullible.
18
Posts: 7558
Date: 14-11-2021 04:19
Private
International star



liv wrote:
Samfie wrote:
vives wrote:
kind of but i rarely confront her
i feel bad saying my mom is toxic bc shes done so much for me but she lowkey is
Saaame~ I have looots of love for my mum as I know most of her story -I wouldn’t wosh that upon anyone!!
Just told her me n my sister needed to hear about «our dad», not «her former boyfriend who where toxic», for once….. for ONCE….

I’m so sorry :’ccc
do you guys still have a constructive relation?
im not the perfect daughter so i can see why she would act a certain towards me but theres been times where she was a straight up b**** and said unnecessary things to me that were hurtful for no reason. she has bettered herself and hasnt been rude like that in a while but those words have rly affected me through the years
18
Posts: 3544
Date: 14-11-2021 04:21
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