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me celebrating
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
haven't had any alcohol for a month now (or 28 days to be exact) and i feel happy ? almost like a manic type of high. i can feel my brain clearing up and i don't react as strongly anymore.

trying to find myself again the way i am when i am not just an addict. trying to put myself in social situations without the alcohol

been having dreams of drinking where im helpess and anxious again
i've had the first weekend without tears and where i don't end up torturing myself in a resturant or even bar or even in my thoughts. I ended up on a street where I used to go drinking but I had no thoughts of doing so. I bought myself a hamburger and I went home. I wasn't jealous of any group of people on the bus going drinking or drunk going home.

The first 3 weeks was garbage I felt like my brain was possessed by a thirsty alcoholic demon trying to trick me into any bar and trying to find me any excuse. couldn't find my way back to thinking like i wasn't sick. couldn't help myself and couldn't tell anyone else how to help me.
After a month is when i relapsed last time sober. Don't want to drink and be miserable. Not sure how to find a way to deal with trauma and insecurities but still working on myself.

yay
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 05-12-2021 12:39
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
also before when celebrating it was always with alcohol. and i would get so anxious before because i would think i'm going to embarrass myself or get too drunk or be upset. and that no one could keep up with me. or when the party is over and not for me so everyone goes to bed and i am still drinking, alone. celebrating was more stressful than it was fun when i was still drinking. now we're going to get takeaway and watch a movie to celebrate 1 month. christmas and new years will be sober and i'll most likely make better memories then
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 05-12-2021 12:43
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
bumpi
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 05-12-2021 14:11
Private
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kagura wrote:
gz!! and all the luck in the world to find new ways to cope 
14
Posts: 7616
Date: 05-12-2021 14:14
Private
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Soap wrote:
i'm so proud of you dude, for real the hardest part is starting but youve done it!! good luck with staying on track, i think youre gonna be successful with being sober just from how youre talking about it honestly, especially once you find something healthy and nice for your brain to be distracted by when youre feeling the itch to drink. keep up being kind to yourself
18
Posts: 7146
Date: 05-12-2021 14:21
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
Soap wrote:
i'm so proud of you dude, for real the hardest part is starting but youve done it!! good luck with staying on track, i think youre gonna be successful with being sober just from how youre talking about it honestly, especially once you find something healthy and nice for your brain to be distracted by when youre feeling the itch to drink. keep up being kind to yourself
thank you !! 
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 05-12-2021 14:40
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
kagura wrote:
gz!! and all the luck in the world to find new ways to cope 
thank you <3
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 05-12-2021 14:40
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Living Legend



Clavicle wrote:
That's awesome! I'm proud of you for doing that. I hope you can continue on this path and I hope it ends up working well for you :) 
13
Posts: 1856
Date: 05-12-2021 19:48
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
Clavicle wrote:
That's awesome! I'm proud of you for doing that. I hope you can continue on this path and I hope it ends up working well for you  
thank you :)
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 05-12-2021 20:27
Private
International Star



ThugWorkout wrote:
they say it takes 21 days to make or break a habit and you’ve smashed it, you should be so proud of urself!!
18
Posts: 21745
Date: 06-12-2021 15:21
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
ThugWorkout wrote:
they say it takes 21 days to make or break a habit and you’ve smashed it, you should be so proud of urself!!
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 06-12-2021 16:30
Random
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Random wrote:
That's so awesome! Keep up the good work. c:
17
Posts: 2769
Date: 06-12-2021 16:42
Private
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Melody wrote:
i'm so happy and proud of you 
you've broken from a prison more hellish than most of the ones outside our heads, it is most certainly worth celebrating for 
19
Posts: 8638
Date: 06-12-2021 16:45
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
Random wrote:
That's so awesome! Keep up the good work. c:
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 06-12-2021 17:08
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
brunhilde wrote:
i'm so happy and proud of you 
you've broken from a prison more hellish than most of the ones outside our heads, it is most certainly worth celebrating for 
thank you  it feels so good to not have to deal with that constant need for more and the withdrawal when i didnt get it. working hard to become sober is the best thing i could have done for myself and others
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 06-12-2021 17:09
Private
International Star



meilin wrote:
so proud of you!! alcohol def messes up your brain and it's great to hear it's now clearing up again. it must be a lot easier to keep going and recognize harmful patterns when your feelings etc are starting to reset in a way. i don't think i ever was an alcoholic but i used to drink heavily at one point of my life and oh boy i know that fear of embarrassing yourself while drunk. though i do remember everything i do while drunk (how could i not if i drink max 2 beers these days lol) there's still this sense of anxiety ig bc of i know there's always that potential, considering i'm already an impulsive, passionate person while sober

idk if you're aware but there are some meme accounts focusing on recovery/sobriety + podcasts criticizing alcohol culture (i only follow the finnish ones but i'm sure they exist in other languages as well), they could offer you some kind of extra support etc. i follow some on insta and it's nice to see some other views in contrast to how our society generally glamorizes drinking
18
Posts: 13330
Date: 06-12-2021 17:25
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