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General < General
doormat vs. killjoy
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Limbs wrote:
how do you know when you should go out of your comfort zone or compromise so that you can be helpful/supportive to your friends, or have fun with them, & when you should listen to your gut instinct to say no and just say no?
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 17-01-2022 17:43
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ouch wrote:
Whan I want to vs when I don't want to
16
Posts: 95491
Date: 17-01-2022 17:45
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Limbs wrote:
because like, i've been learning to say no and stop being a doormat but it turns out if i just do what i actually want to, i say no a LOT. and people complain that i don't want to do anything or i won't agree to anything. lol. like maybe i've gone too far in the other direction. idk how to find the balance of respecting my own boundaries but also taking others into consideration
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 17-01-2022 17:49
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ouch wrote:
Limbs wrote:
because like, i've been learning to say no and stop being a doormat but it turns out if i just do what i actually want to, i say no a LOT. and people complain that i don't want to do anything or i won't agree to anything. lol. like maybe i've gone too far in the other direction. idk how to find the balance of respecting my own boundaries but also taking others into consideration
My friend says no too often to hang out or whatever cus she feels like shit but as long as shes not busy I just keep asking n usually she joins anyway n has a good time lol. For me too, often I say no but then I get "convinced" after a while n join anyway n I have fun even tho I felt bad before or smth, but it just depends on if I feel like its not going to work at all like 100% or if I will feel better by actually going out etc, so it depends on if I don't want to or if I really don't want to
16
Posts: 95491
Date: 17-01-2022 17:54
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disposable wrote:
hm, i guess i've been better at saying no - but polite because i'm scared of confrontations.

but i always listen to my gut, tbh i've started to realize that i am the most important peroson i my life and if i don't want to do it, then why should i? and friends should accept if there is something you don't want to do/don't feel comfortable with. there is other things do to 
18
Posts: 5820
Date: 17-01-2022 17:55
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remains wrote:
Limbs wrote:
because like, i've been learning to say no and stop being a doormat but it turns out if i just do what i actually want to, i say no a LOT. and people complain that i don't want to do anything or i won't agree to anything. lol. like maybe i've gone too far in the other direction. idk how to find the balance of respecting my own boundaries but also taking others into consideration
sounds like ppl around u dont care about what u want or want to compromise
or ur just not compatible

ofc theres some room to think why you disagree / don't want to do those things and if stepping out of your comfort zone sometimes would be refreshing, but also, you don't have to waste your time doing something unenjoyable. life's too short for that
22
Posts: 40129
Date: 17-01-2022 17:58
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remains wrote:
like both me and my friends respect each other enough to find something we both want to do and enjoy and then do it
otherwise we can do our own thing
22
Posts: 40129
Date: 17-01-2022 18:01
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emogirrrl123 wrote:
Limbs wrote:
because like, i've been learning to say no and stop being a doormat but it turns out if i just do what i actually want to, i say no a LOT. and people complain that i don't want to do anything or i won't agree to anything. lol. like maybe i've gone too far in the other direction. idk how to find the balance of respecting my own boundaries but also taking others into consideration
have you gone too far or is this happening bc these ppl are just so used to you saying yes to things? i think the latter
18
Posts: 13218
Date: 17-01-2022 18:08
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emogirrrl123 wrote:
disposable wrote:
hm, i guess i've been better at saying no - but polite because i'm scared of confrontations.

but i always listen to my gut, tbh i've started to realize that i am the most important peroson i my life and if i don't want to do it, then why should i? and friends should accept if there is something you don't want to do/don't feel comfortable with. there is other things do to 
yeah def. if these ppl have a problem with it, time to find new, more compatible friends
18
Posts: 13218
Date: 17-01-2022 18:12
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Sylvan wrote:
I'm always killjoy bc other ppl are stupid
16
Posts: 17933
Date: 17-01-2022 18:27
EtherealPJM
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EtherealPJM wrote:
I try not to make everything about myself, sometimes you gotta do the things ur friends want to do but also the  things you wanna do :)
18
Posts: 8755
Date: 17-01-2022 18:59
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Rouya wrote:
ouch wrote:
Whan I want to vs when I don't want to
22
Posts: 9159
Date: 17-01-2022 19:16
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autism wrote:
i just don't compromise
19
Posts: 43995
Date: 17-01-2022 19:34
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Limbs wrote:
Sera wrote:
Limbs wrote:
because like, i've been learning to say no and stop being a doormat but it turns out if i just do what i actually want to, i say no a LOT. and people complain that i don't want to do anything or i won't agree to anything. lol. like maybe i've gone too far in the other direction. idk how to find the balance of respecting my own boundaries but also taking others into consideration
have you gone too far or is this happening bc these ppl are just so used to you saying yes to things? i think the latter
i met these people after i started saying no often
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 18-01-2022 00:47
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