a tale of the feelings of a nd guygal person - Forum

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Sylvan wrote:
Can I kinda rant to someone because my brain is overwhelmed

Account deleted

wrote:
yes am all ears

Private
National star

Sylvan wrote:

pewdiepiestannie2003 wrote:
yes am all ears

Okay so it all began when me and this guy and this girl were the only person to show up for a seminar and we ended up being ghosted by the docent of the seminar, so we all went to dinner.

It was a nice evening, the girl was very nice, very social and the guy was a bit weird and talkative but friendly.

The guy wanted to meet again, ( as in the three of us) the girl agreed but never followed up.
The guy kept in contact with the girl via email and I didn't.
he ended up contacting me via my student email (which I said he could bc I had to ran off to the train station at the end of the the first dinner and didn't have time to give him my socials, neither did I want to) .

We exchanged some friendly emails and he wanted to meet again, I suggested we and the girl meet up but the girl is from austria, and they have been in quarantine for a while and he told me she wrote that she is sadly incredibly busy with dance practice for a show,

So we met for lunch alone in december and we had a nice talk, he kinda forgot a lot of what I told about me the first dinner but he was still nice, friendly.

He hugged me at the beginning and end (which was very awkward bc I don't do hugs)

He wanted to meet again and I agreed bc I didn't have a reason not to and we met again for lunch 2day.
We -again- had a friendly enough meal, talked for 2,5 hrs about this and that and (he talked mostly about traveling again and about cats).

Greeting and goodbye a hug initiated by him again.He wants to go see a movie next week but I didn't have time when he had time so it is tbd at this point

The meal and conversation was like friendly and not flirty (I think????)
Idk what this is exactly

I don't have like romantic feelings at all for him and I guess he doesn't for me either but I'm not sure.
I think he is autistic too by the way he talks and body language and like his reaction to loud noises and he didn't pick up on some of the cues I gave him (which could also be bc he's a guy)

He just wrote me on whatsapp that he wants to have lunch again soon, this time vegetarian (I think he finally remembered that I'm vegetarian, we went to a steak house this time)

I just feel weird, I keep going bc I'm lonely and it's nice to just have someone but I don't want to take advantage of him for the case that he has feelings for me but maybe he's just very lonely too.

Meanwhile I'm unlucky in love (more like a strong crush idk) with a woman and I'm questioning my sexuality again if I'm not like very woman leaning but the only women I talk to are the annoying 20 year olds from my classes at uni so idk what to do on that front.

Also I am a neurotic dysphoric mess and I don't have much experience with romantic stuff and I'm too chicken to go on dates with women

ahhhhhhh

probably missed a lot but yeah

Account deleted

wrote:

Sylvan wrote:

pewdiepiestannie2003 wrote:
yes am all ears

Okay so it all began when me and this guy and this girl were the only person to show up for a seminar and we ended up being ghosted by the docent of the seminar, so we all went to dinner.

It was a nice evening, the girl was very nice, very social and the guy was a bit weird and talkative but friendly.

The guy wanted to meet again, ( as in the three of us) the girl agreed but never followed up.
The guy kept in contact with the girl via email and I didn't.
he ended up contacting me via my student email (which I said he could bc I had to ran off to the train station at the end of the the first dinner and didn't have time to give him my socials, neither did I want to) .

We exchanged some friendly emails and he wanted to meet again, I suggested we and the girl meet up but the girl is from austria, and they have been in quarantine for a while and he told me she wrote that she is sadly incredibly busy with dance practice for a show,

So we met for lunch alone in december and we had a nice talk, he kinda forgot a lot of what I told about me the first dinner but he was still nice, friendly.

He hugged me at the beginning and end (which was very awkward bc I don't do hugs)

He wanted to meet again and I agreed bc I didn't have a reason not to and we met again for lunch 2day.
We -again- had a friendly enough meal, talked for 2,5 hrs about this and that and (he talked mostly about traveling again and about cats).

Greeting and goodbye a hug initiated by him again.He wants to go see a movie next week but I didn't have time when he had time so it is tbd at this point

The meal and conversation was like friendly and not flirty (I think????)
Idk what this is exactly

I don't have like romantic feelings at all for him and I guess he doesn't for me either but I'm not sure.
I think he is autistic too by the way he talks and body language and like his reaction to loud noises and he didn't pick up on some of the cues I gave him (which could also be bc he's a guy)

He just wrote me on whatsapp that he wants to have lunch again soon, this time vegetarian (I think he finally remembered that I'm vegetarian, we went to a steak house this time)

I just feel weird, I keep going bc I'm lonely and it's nice to just have someone but I don't want to take advantage of him for the case that he has feelings for me but maybe he's just very lonely too.

Meanwhile I'm unlucky in love (more like a strong crush idk) with a woman and I'm questioning my sexuality again if I'm not like very woman leaning but the only women I talk to are the annoying 20 year olds from my classes at uni so idk what to do on that front.

Also I am a neurotic dysphoric mess and I don't have much experience with romantic stuff and I'm too chicken to go on dates with women

ahhhhhhh

probably missed a lot but yeah

damn i see. do you think that your loneliness may make you perceive the situation as him having romantic intentions?? in a subconscious way if that makes sense

i suppose that while he doesn't make any blatant moves it's okay to still meet up w him.

i've picked up that you want to try and have experiences with women in order to fully determine your sexuality but your circumstances don't really allow that. it is unfortunate <\\3 hopefully you do gain the courage to try going on a date with a woman one day : (

Private
National star

Sylvan wrote:

pewdiepiestannie2003 wrote:

Sylvan wrote:

pewdiepiestannie2003 wrote:
yes am all ears

Okay so it all began when me and this guy and this girl were the only person to show up for a seminar and we ended up being ghosted by the docent of the seminar, so we all went to dinner.

It was a nice evening, the girl was very nice, very social and the guy was a bit weird and talkative but friendly.

The guy wanted to meet again, ( as in the three of us) the girl agreed but never followed up.
The guy kept in contact with the girl via email and I didn't.
he ended up contacting me via my student email (which I said he could bc I had to ran off to the train station at the end of the the first dinner and didn't have time to give him my socials, neither did I want to) .

We exchanged some friendly emails and he wanted to meet again, I suggested we and the girl meet up but the girl is from austria, and they have been in quarantine for a while and he told me she wrote that she is sadly incredibly busy with dance practice for a show,

So we met for lunch alone in december and we had a nice talk, he kinda forgot a lot of what I told about me the first dinner but he was still nice, friendly.

He hugged me at the beginning and end (which was very awkward bc I don't do hugs)

He wanted to meet again and I agreed bc I didn't have a reason not to and we met again for lunch 2day.
We -again- had a friendly enough meal, talked for 2,5 hrs about this and that and (he talked mostly about traveling again and about cats).

Greeting and goodbye a hug initiated by him again.He wants to go see a movie next week but I didn't have time when he had time so it is tbd at this point

The meal and conversation was like friendly and not flirty (I think????)
Idk what this is exactly

I don't have like romantic feelings at all for him and I guess he doesn't for me either but I'm not sure.
I think he is autistic too by the way he talks and body language and like his reaction to loud noises and he didn't pick up on some of the cues I gave him (which could also be bc he's a guy)

He just wrote me on whatsapp that he wants to have lunch again soon, this time vegetarian (I think he finally remembered that I'm vegetarian, we went to a steak house this time)

I just feel weird, I keep going bc I'm lonely and it's nice to just have someone but I don't want to take advantage of him for the case that he has feelings for me but maybe he's just very lonely too.

Meanwhile I'm unlucky in love (more like a strong crush idk) with a woman and I'm questioning my sexuality again if I'm not like very woman leaning but the only women I talk to are the annoying 20 year olds from my classes at uni so idk what to do on that front.

Also I am a neurotic dysphoric mess and I don't have much experience with romantic stuff and I'm too chicken to go on dates with women

ahhhhhhh

probably missed a lot but yeah

damn i see. do you think that your loneliness may make you perceive the situation as him having romantic intentions?? in a subconscious way if that makes sense

i suppose that while he doesn't make any blatant moves it's okay to still meet up w him.

i've picked up that you want to try and have experiences with women in order to fully determine your sexuality but your circumstances don't really allow that. it is unfortunate <\\3 hopefully you do gain the courage to try going on a date with a woman one day : (

yeah, I don't want to assume things it's just that there was this guy who had a crush on me a few years ago and I didn't notice for months till my boss told me (we were coworkers) so I'm kinda wary yk

I know I'm into women, I just don't know how much more I'm into women than men, like at this point I*m not sure I could have a fulfilled relationship with a man.

Account deleted

wrote:

Sylvan wrote:

pewdiepiestannie2003 wrote:

Sylvan wrote:
Okay so it all began when me and this guy and this girl were the only person to show up for a seminar and we ended up being ghosted by the docent of the seminar, so we all went to dinner.

It was a nice evening, the girl was very nice, very social and the guy was a bit weird and talkative but friendly.

The guy wanted to meet again, ( as in the three of us) the girl agreed but never followed up.
The guy kept in contact with the girl via email and I didn't.
he ended up contacting me via my student email (which I said he could bc I had to ran off to the train station at the end of the the first dinner and didn't have time to give him my socials, neither did I want to) .

We exchanged some friendly emails and he wanted to meet again, I suggested we and the girl meet up but the girl is from austria, and they have been in quarantine for a while and he told me she wrote that she is sadly incredibly busy with dance practice for a show,

So we met for lunch alone in december and we had a nice talk, he kinda forgot a lot of what I told about me the first dinner but he was still nice, friendly.

He hugged me at the beginning and end (which was very awkward bc I don't do hugs)

He wanted to meet again and I agreed bc I didn't have a reason not to and we met again for lunch 2day.
We -again- had a friendly enough meal, talked for 2,5 hrs about this and that and (he talked mostly about traveling again and about cats).

Greeting and goodbye a hug initiated by him again.He wants to go see a movie next week but I didn't have time when he had time so it is tbd at this point

The meal and conversation was like friendly and not flirty (I think????)
Idk what this is exactly

I don't have like romantic feelings at all for him and I guess he doesn't for me either but I'm not sure.
I think he is autistic too by the way he talks and body language and like his reaction to loud noises and he didn't pick up on some of the cues I gave him (which could also be bc he's a guy)

He just wrote me on whatsapp that he wants to have lunch again soon, this time vegetarian (I think he finally remembered that I'm vegetarian, we went to a steak house this time)

I just feel weird, I keep going bc I'm lonely and it's nice to just have someone but I don't want to take advantage of him for the case that he has feelings for me but maybe he's just very lonely too.

Meanwhile I'm unlucky in love (more like a strong crush idk) with a woman and I'm questioning my sexuality again if I'm not like very woman leaning but the only women I talk to are the annoying 20 year olds from my classes at uni so idk what to do on that front.

Also I am a neurotic dysphoric mess and I don't have much experience with romantic stuff and I'm too chicken to go on dates with women

ahhhhhhh

probably missed a lot but yeah

damn i see. do you think that your loneliness may make you perceive the situation as him having romantic intentions?? in a subconscious way if that makes sense

i suppose that while he doesn't make any blatant moves it's okay to still meet up w him.

i've picked up that you want to try and have experiences with women in order to fully determine your sexuality but your circumstances don't really allow that. it is unfortunate <\\3 hopefully you do gain the courage to try going on a date with a woman one day : (

yeah, I don't want to assume things it's just that there was this guy who had a crush on me a few years ago and I didn't notice for months till my boss told me (we were coworkers) so I'm kinda wary yk

I know I'm into women, I just don't know how much more I'm into women than men, like at this point I*m not sure I could have a fulfilled relationship with a man.

it happens

what happened in the end?

that's a completely valid sentiment yes

Private
National star

Sylvan wrote:

pewdiepiestannie2003 wrote:

Sylvan wrote:

pewdiepiestannie2003 wrote:
damn i see. do you think that your loneliness may make you perceive the situation as him having romantic intentions?? in a subconscious way if that makes sense

i suppose that while he doesn't make any blatant moves it's okay to still meet up w him.

i've picked up that you want to try and have experiences with women in order to fully determine your sexuality but your circumstances don't really allow that. it is unfortunate <\\3 hopefully you do gain the courage to try going on a date with a woman one day : (

yeah, I don't want to assume things it's just that there was this guy who had a crush on me a few years ago and I didn't notice for months till my boss told me (we were coworkers) so I'm kinda wary yk

I know I'm into women, I just don't know how much more I'm into women than men, like at this point I*m not sure I could have a fulfilled relationship with a man.

it happens

what happened in the end?

that's a completely valid sentiment yes

I was only a help for 3 months with a limited contract and I told him I had a gf and left like 2 weeks after that

Account deleted

wrote:

Sylvan wrote:

pewdiepiestannie2003 wrote:

Sylvan wrote:
yeah, I don't want to assume things it's just that there was this guy who had a crush on me a few years ago and I didn't notice for months till my boss told me (we were coworkers) so I'm kinda wary yk

I know I'm into women, I just don't know how much more I'm into women than men, like at this point I*m not sure I could have a fulfilled relationship with a man.

it happens

what happened in the end?

that's a completely valid sentiment yes

I was only a help for 3 months with a limited contract and I told him I had a gf and left like 2 weeks after that

aw i see, u never contacted him again i assume

Private
National star

Sylvan wrote:

pewdiepiestannie2003 wrote:

Sylvan wrote:

pewdiepiestannie2003 wrote:
it happens

what happened in the end?

that's a completely valid sentiment yes

I was only a help for 3 months with a limited contract and I told him I had a gf and left like 2 weeks after that

aw i see, u never contacted him again i assume

No but my mum is in a social club with one of the coworkers of this dude and she told my mum about me telling him I had a gf and my mum just assumed I lied to let him down gently and I didn't dispute it lmao

Still like 90% sure she thinks I'm a lesbian lol

Account deleted

wrote:

Sylvan wrote:

pewdiepiestannie2003 wrote:

Sylvan wrote:
I was only a help for 3 months with a limited contract and I told him I had a gf and left like 2 weeks after that

aw i see, u never contacted him again i assume

No but my mum is in a social club with one of the coworkers of this dude and she told my mum about me telling him I had a gf and my mum just assumed I lied to let him down gently and I didn't dispute it lmao

Still like 90% sure she thinks I'm a lesbian lol

at least she kinda knows now assuming she didn't before lmao

Private
National star

Sylvan wrote:

pewdiepiestannie2003 wrote:

Sylvan wrote:

pewdiepiestannie2003 wrote:
aw i see, u never contacted him again i assume

No but my mum is in a social club with one of the coworkers of this dude and she told my mum about me telling him I had a gf and my mum just assumed I lied to let him down gently and I didn't dispute it lmao

Still like 90% sure she thinks I'm a lesbian lol

at least she kinda knows now assuming she didn't before lmao

I mean I never said anything also I'm bi I guess there's definitely some attraction to men, just not sure if it's enough for a relationship.

Like I never brought home any boys and was obsessed with my best friend and we were very physically affectionate and had sleepovers a lot (never happened more than holding hands and her jumping into my arms to hug though) and half my wardrobe is flannel and I am not exactly feminine

Private
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Sylvan wrote:
My brain is scrambled

I'm on pfizer period which makes me dysphoric af

I just had lunch with guy

I'm simping way to much for this unreachable woman

I have a shit ton of uni work to do

Private
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Sylvan wrote:
I don't feel like myself lately

Everything feels icky

Private
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Sylvan wrote:
Man I'm dramatic.

I cooled down a bit since yesterday thank god.

Sol
National star

Sol wrote:
i don't know if this is doable for you but maybe you can ask him straight up? ask what his intentions are as you don't want to lead him on or something, i'm sure he'll understand ! if there's anything more than friendly going on, you can tell him that you're not interested in him that way & you won't have to feel guilty :]

Sol
National star

Sol wrote:

Sylvan wrote:
Man I'm dramatic.

I cooled down a bit since yesterday thank god.

being dramatic is totally okay if its abt something that's bothering u