i'm doomed - Forum - Virtual Popstar

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kagura wrote:
so i've been seeing this guy for 7 months now. either of us wanted a relationship and i still don't think i want that, so it's all good it's more like fwb kind of thing
so therefore i don't expect him to be there for me 24/7. i don't mind if we don't talk every single day and i wouldn't even want to be with someone who needs that much attention

but rightnow i feel very shitty that i haven't heard about him since tuesday.
yes i know it's 2 days, but i told him i got stomach flu + periods at the same time and i'm dying bye, and yeah idk when we can meet again let's see how quick i recover etc. so we had a chat going on for awhile
so i don't know. i just kinda expected that he would have asked me yesterday or today how i'm doing, if i'm any better or maybe if i need anything. like he doesn't have to a shit for me but ??? you know i just, idk if he was sick i would ask if i can do groceries for him or something

so like even it's not a relationship, this is still the most intimate relationship in my life rightnow and i want an effort. and sending a text to check on me when i'm sick shouldn't be too much to ask for?
pls can somebody say this is valid

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wrote:
yeah u kinda need to break it off because this is diving directly into "developing" feelings phase.
like sure it's not a relationship, but how you reacted to perceived radio silence, shows it has become more for you.

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Rotte wrote:
Hmm, idk I wouldn't expect that care from a fwb? But it's hard to say, when not knowing how your "relationship" is on the regular.

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kagura wrote:

acidreflux wrote:
yeah u kinda need to break it off because this is diving directly into "developing" feelings phase.
like sure it's not a relationship, but how you reacted to perceived radio silence, shows it has become more for you.

well, like i said i really do not mind if we don't talk in few days in normal circumstances
obviously if you hangout with someone for 7 months more and less and be as intimate as we are, what you expect, of course there are feelings. but i still don't find my feelings being like ones i felt towards my ex, and if i don't get them, then it's not going to be a relationship. so i don't have that kind of feelings, of course i care about him as a friend and i would offer my help to any of my friends

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kagura wrote:

Angelica wrote:
Hmm, idk I wouldn't expect that care from a fwb? But it's hard to say, when not knowing how your "relationship" is on the regular.

idk what regular fwb relationship is and what "normal" people thinks..? but i wouldn't even have sex with a person who doesn't care about me in a frist place. there has to be some sort of connection for me, romantic or something else

and oh btw, i don't mean to say that he usually makes me feel like he doesn't care. because he does care and he shows it too, sometimes in different ways than i'm used to but anyway. i wouldn't be in relationship if he didn't make me feel like wanted and cared

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kagura wrote:
for a record, i really do not know what fwb is for other people. i have been a relationship for most of my "adult" life, so i don't know how anything works when it comes to being single and dating people
i find it absolute absurd that people have sex with random people, or people just have sex and has nothing else in common and doesn't do anything else together. not judging that, just something i can't personally understand and i wouldn't do

so for me this indeed a friendship with benefits. which means we are friends, we spend time together and we do all kind of things together. it's not just about being physical. we go out on "dates" or whatever, we play a lot of videogames, we love trying new foods together etc.
also we don't date other people purposely? i mean we both deleted tinder pretty soon after we met. but i mean if other one met someone somewhere by accident, sure it's allowed to go on dates with someone else and it's totally allowed to end our thing if other one gets romantic feelings for somebody else.
of course i would be sad if this ends, but i wouldn't be the end of the world for me, because obviously this is not going to last forever and as said this is not going to be a relationship.

wow, didn't expect to explain myself this much
i just want a text asking how i'm doing from a person who is imporant part of my life, even it's not romantic

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kagura wrote:
i wrote here long story of how he once bought my favorite wine (which is more expensive than what we usually drink) as in sorry for cancelling our plans from another night
then i rememred the time when we had only knew for like a month and he actually fucking bought pillows for me, because i complained i can't sleep at his place because his pillows are shit, and i was like lol wtf simp should i run

so i just realised that how absurd i sound rightnow, crying over not getting one text
but i'm emotional bc of periods and i have emotional traumas over these things because of my ex

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Limbs wrote:
i think sometimes people just don't realize you want or need something from them that seems obvious to you. n for you to get your needs met you kinda need to communicate them. in the case of wanting him to check on you it's kinda hard to do that rn, but you could tell him this is something that makes a difference for you and you hope he could just, shoot you a text in the future if you're sick again. or something like that. sry this is so badly explained but i hope you get what i mean

your feelings of hurt are valid but it's very possible he just doesn't realize you would want this. yknow

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kagura wrote:

Limbs wrote:
i think sometimes people just don't realize you want or need something from them that seems obvious to you. n for you to get your needs met you kinda need to communicate them. in the case of wanting him to check on you it's kinda hard to do that rn, but you could tell him this is something that makes a difference for you and you hope he could just, shoot you a text in the future if you're sick again. or something like that. sry this is so badly explained but i hope you get what i mean

your feelings of hurt are valid but it's very possible he just doesn't realize you would want this. yknow

thank you

yes, i understand that. i think it's hard for me to communicate that to him, because i don't want to sound clingy. then i start to adress too much that i don't want him to text me ALL THE TIME anyway and then it's gonna sound like i want that instead??
lmao idk why social skills be so hard