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how do i become more assertive?
Private
World famous



Nuola wrote:
i let myself get talked over a lot, i tend to blend into the background, and so on

i'm still figuring out my personality, but i'm wondering whether i should be more loud when trying new things? everything i do screams awkward and i'd like that to stop.

everyone seems so confident here and like they fit in, i just want to know how to find my place without defaulting to quiet invisible kid in the corner.

have any of you also experienced this? how'd you work through it?
18
Posts: 1592
Date: 16-02-2022 22:24
Private
National star



Sylvan wrote:
If you always play the doormat, at some point you will have a breakdown and stop giving a fuck about everything

I would recommend becoming more assertive before that happens.

Like what is the worst that can happen if you say something with confidence and you are wrong sometimes? Plenty people are wrong all the time and they still won't shut up.
16
Posts: 17933
Date: 16-02-2022 22:27
Account deleted




wrote:
Um I get you. I am not the person to give you answers since I have soccial anxiety and don't know how to do those things too.
One thing I begin to realise is that I shouldn't really try to change myself. Like it's OK to be shy and awkward and there will be people who get that and don't care.
I still wish I was different whenever I find myself in a soccial situation and I am just sitting there quietly but I am working on that not that sucsesfully tho
Date: 16-02-2022 22:31 | Times changed: 1
Account deleted




wrote:
And I don't think you can be loud if you just are not loud, if you get me. You can't be who you aren't. 
Date: 16-02-2022 22:35
Random
Popstar



Random wrote:
I used to be like that.. am I still like super confident? Oh heck nah!
But at one point I realized that I don't need to a give a damn how others see me. Cause I was always trying to make people like me and I wasn't living for myself. I lost a lot of people after that, but I gained way better people around me.
I never want to feel like people can just push me around, I can't deal with that bullshit.

But it takes time, try to figure things out and take smaller steps to your goal. You don't need to completely change as a person, find the area that feels most comfortable for you. 
17
Posts: 2769
Date: 16-02-2022 22:37
Private
Popstar



ouch wrote:
I have always been semi assertive but I was more invisible before cus of anxiety, but then I told myself to stop being stupid n then I stopped being stupid, thats the only way I can think of doing anything, fake it til u make it bla bla bla but fr best life philosophy 
16
Posts: 95491
Date: 16-02-2022 22:40
Private
World famous



misjel wrote:
ouch wrote:
I have always been semi assertive but I was more invisible before cus of anxiety, but then I told myself to stop being stupid n then I stopped being stupid, thats the only way I can think of doing anything, fake it til u make it bla bla bla but fr best life philosophy 
love how most of your approaches are: 

Hey feel bad? Just stop feeling bad
Hey feel anxious? Just don't think about it
Hey feel overlooked? Just be more assertive

True spirit of fake it till u make it, how we frame stuff does affect our thinking wonder how far u can push that tho
20
Posts: 52243
Date: 16-02-2022 22:59
Private
World famous



Nuola wrote:
NOface wrote:
Um I get you. I am not the person to give you answers since I have soccial anxiety and don't know how to do those things too.
One thing I begin to realise is that I shouldn't really try to change myself. Like it's OK to be shy and awkward and there will be people who get that and don't care.
I still wish I was different whenever I find myself in a soccial situation and I am just sitting there quietly but I am working on that not that sucsesfully tho
i also have social anxiety so you are honestly one of the best people that could be responding. like i'll start a thread but i panic and don't know how to keep it alive. i'm sure we'll both be successful soon!
18
Posts: 1592
Date: 16-02-2022 23:03
Private
Popstar



ouch wrote:
Misjel wrote:
ouch wrote:
I have always been semi assertive but I was more invisible before cus of anxiety, but then I told myself to stop being stupid n then I stopped being stupid, thats the only way I can think of doing anything, fake it til u make it bla bla bla but fr best life philosophy 
love how most of your approaches are: 

Hey feel bad? Just stop feeling bad
Hey feel anxious? Just don't think about it
Hey feel overlooked? Just be more assertive

True spirit of fake it till u make it, how we frame stuff does affect our thinking wonder how far u can push that tho
I can push it very far, thankfully, but u have to assert ur own brain for it to work, so the first thing u have to do is be assertive
16
Posts: 95491
Date: 16-02-2022 23:03
Private
World famous



misjel wrote:
ouch wrote:
Misjel wrote:
ouch wrote:
I have always been semi assertive but I was more invisible before cus of anxiety, but then I told myself to stop being stupid n then I stopped being stupid, thats the only way I can think of doing anything, fake it til u make it bla bla bla but fr best life philosophy 
love how most of your approaches are: 

Hey feel bad? Just stop feeling bad
Hey feel anxious? Just don't think about it
Hey feel overlooked? Just be more assertive

True spirit of fake it till u make it, how we frame stuff does affect our thinking wonder how far u can push that tho
I can push it very far, thankfully, but u have to assert ur own brain for it to work, so the first thing u have to do is be assertive
how chaddy, tell the brain who's boss
20
Posts: 52243
Date: 16-02-2022 23:04
Private
World famous



Nuola wrote:
Misjel wrote:
ouch wrote:
Misjel wrote:
love how most of your approaches are: 

Hey feel bad? Just stop feeling bad
Hey feel anxious? Just don't think about it
Hey feel overlooked? Just be more assertive

True spirit of fake it till u make it, how we frame stuff does affect our thinking wonder how far u can push that tho
I can push it very far, thankfully, but u have to assert ur own brain for it to work, so the first thing u have to do is be assertive
how chaddy, tell the brain who's boss
i adore this dynamic you two have
18
Posts: 1592
Date: 16-02-2022 23:05
Private
World famous



misjel wrote:
Nuola wrote:
Misjel wrote:
ouch wrote:
I can push it very far, thankfully, but u have to assert ur own brain for it to work, so the first thing u have to do is be assertive
how chaddy, tell the brain who's boss
i adore this dynamic you two have
We're homies  ex friendlisters but still homies unless ouch says otherwise
20
Posts: 52243
Date: 16-02-2022 23:06
Private
Popstar



ouch wrote:
Misjel wrote:
Nuola wrote:
Misjel wrote:
how chaddy, tell the brain who's boss
i adore this dynamic you two have
We're homies  ex friendlisters but still homies unless ouch says otherwise
I got no homoes anymore #sadlife #sadvplife #troyaferd 
16
Posts: 95491
Date: 16-02-2022 23:06
Private
World famous



misjel wrote:
ouch wrote:
Misjel wrote:
Nuola wrote:
i adore this dynamic you two have
We're homies  ex friendlisters but still homies unless ouch says otherwise
I got no homoes anymore #sadlife #sadvplife #troyaferd 
#boost, nohomo
20
Posts: 52243
Date: 16-02-2022 23:07
Private
World famous



misjel wrote:
Ok i am writing a reply !!!! hold on!!!
20
Posts: 52243
Date: 16-02-2022 23:07
Private
World famous



BloomCissi wrote:
Misjel wrote:
Nuola wrote:
Misjel wrote:
how chaddy, tell the brain who's boss
i adore this dynamic you two have
We're homies  ex friendlisters but still homies unless ouch says otherwise
"ex friendlisters" 
20
Posts: 24750
Date: 16-02-2022 23:09
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