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Pls give advice
Noir
International Star



Noir wrote:
My friend wants to set me up with her friend and I don't know what to do. Physically I'm not attracted to him. he's nice, but he has some things I don't like. He is also the opposite of me. We have hardly ever talked and now he keeps hitting on me and I don't know how to tell him that I am not ready mentally and to give me time. I don't want to hurt him but I feel very pressured.  Like he just asked me through my friend's whatsapp that if I want to go on a date with him and when I replied that I didn't know how to answer that so I wasn't going to answer he wrote me on insta with a typical pick up line. What can I do? 
I've never had a boyfriend even though I'm 20 to 21, but I don't think I'm mentally prepared for it. I get really anxious just thinking about it and I'm afraid I'll start hating my friend's friend just because I feel that way. I'm scared to meet him at uni because I don't know what to do.
20
Posts: 2722
Date: 06-03-2022 20:05
Noir
International Star



Noir wrote:
I dont know how to reply to neither the message my friend has sent me to not ignore his request and the message he has sent me through insta
20
Posts: 2722
Date: 06-03-2022 20:07 | Times changed: 1
Private
Popstar



autism wrote:
block him
19
Posts: 44004
Date: 06-03-2022 20:16
Private
National Star



kagura wrote:
tell him you're not interested 
14
Posts: 7616
Date: 06-03-2022 20:18
Private
World Famous



Nuola wrote:
maybe tell your friend its not within your capability right now and that way they won't do this again until you are ready.

you can tell him there was a misunderstanding with your friend and you aren't looking for a relationship right now.
18
Posts: 1593
Date: 06-03-2022 20:22 | Times changed: 1
Account deleted




wrote:
Just say that it is not the right time. 

Rule 1: don't let yourself get pressured into things you don't want because you want to protect someone else's feelings. Your feelings matter just as much, and in cases like these, going on with something knowing it is not really gonna be anything anyway, the better option is to just say it as it is as early as possible. don't wait until the other part is more committed to it. it is just gonna get worse.
Date: 06-03-2022 20:24 | Times changed: 1
Noir
International Star



Noir wrote:
autism wrote:
block him
Im gonna still see him in uni 
20
Posts: 2722
Date: 06-03-2022 20:25
Noir
International Star



Noir wrote:
kagura wrote:
tell him you're not interested 
The thing is that i dont know how to say no, but i think its egoistic to say yes and give him hopes. Is just that this situation is very new to me and i dont really like how things are going 
20
Posts: 2722
Date: 06-03-2022 20:27
Noir
International Star



Noir wrote:
Nuola wrote:
maybe tell your friend its not within your capability right now and that way they won't do this again until you are ready.

you can tell him there was a misunderstanding with your friend and you aren't looking for a relationship right now.
Yes im planning to tell her tomorrow and hopefully when im ready i tell him. 
20
Posts: 2722
Date: 06-03-2022 20:28
Noir
International Star



Noir wrote:
Eostre wrote:
Just say that it is not the right time. 

Rule 1: don't let yourself get pressured into things you don't want because you want to protect someone else's feelings. Your feelings matter just as much, and in cases like these, going on with something knowing it is not really gonna be anything anyway, the better option is to just say it as it is as early as possible. don't wait until the other part is more committed to it. it is just gonna get worse.
Yeah i know. I know i need to tell him as soon as possible. But im afraid what my friend is going to say amd im afraid to confront him. But i do need to set all things clear before this gets worse. 
20
Posts: 2722
Date: 06-03-2022 20:30
Noir
International Star



Noir wrote:
Its not like im setting his hopes up because for example when he told me what i should wear to a party because i wouldnt look like all the other girls and a small group of people like him will find me attractive i told him that i would wear whatever i wanted and that makes me feel comfortable and that i dont care about the boys. He didnt know how to respond to that. 

But i think my friend is giving him hopes. That's why im going to speak with her tomorrow
20
Posts: 2722
Date: 06-03-2022 20:33
Account deleted




wrote:
Noir wrote:
Eostre wrote:
Just say that it is not the right time. 

Rule 1: don't let yourself get pressured into things you don't want because you want to protect someone else's feelings. Your feelings matter just as much, and in cases like these, going on with something knowing it is not really gonna be anything anyway, the better option is to just say it as it is as early as possible. don't wait until the other part is more committed to it. it is just gonna get worse.
Yeah i know. I know i need to tell him as soon as possible. But im afraid what my friend is going to say amd im afraid to confront him. But i do need to set all things clear before this gets worse. 
I could imagine maybe your friend thinks she's doing one of you\both a service, right, and then you're perfectly in your right to kindly decline it. Just say thank you for the effort but it isn't the right time for you, and remember to keep on it if she tries to change your mind or anything. It's not really a confrontation either, it is communication. Best of luck, anyways. You can do it! It's about your own wellbeing and that's sorta serious.
Date: 06-03-2022 20:35
Noir
International Star



Noir wrote:
I think things could have been different if he hadnt pressured me that much
20
Posts: 2722
Date: 06-03-2022 20:35
Noir
International Star



Noir wrote:
Eostre wrote:
Noir wrote:
Eostre wrote:
Just say that it is not the right time. 

Rule 1: don't let yourself get pressured into things you don't want because you want to protect someone else's feelings. Your feelings matter just as much, and in cases like these, going on with something knowing it is not really gonna be anything anyway, the better option is to just say it as it is as early as possible. don't wait until the other part is more committed to it. it is just gonna get worse.
Yeah i know. I know i need to tell him as soon as possible. But im afraid what my friend is going to say amd im afraid to confront him. But i do need to set all things clear before this gets worse. 
I could imagine maybe your friend thinks she's doing one of you\both a service, right, and then you're perfectly in your right to kindly decline it. Just say thank you for the effort but it isn't the right time for you, and remember to keep on it if she tries to change your mind or anything. It's not really a confrontation either, it is communication. Best of luck, anyways. You can do it! It's about your own wellbeing and that's sorta serious.
Yeah she just whats her two best friends to date and she is really committed to make it happend. Hope she doesnt take it in the bad mood. And thanks! It really helped! 
20
Posts: 2722
Date: 06-03-2022 20:37
Private
Popstar



autism wrote:
Noir wrote:
autism wrote:
block him
Im gonna still see him in uni
irl block him
19
Posts: 44004
Date: 06-03-2022 20:38
Gilmore
World Famous



Gilmore wrote:
autism wrote:
block him
Why
19
Posts: 5487
Date: 06-03-2022 20:46
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