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is not wanting to exist really that weird?
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Koolaid wrote:
i've been thinking about this, dabbling around in r/antinatalism, and i swing back and forth on this once in a while, but here's the thing: i don't want to exist.

this doesn't mean i'm suicidal, i still fear the transition from consciousness to non-Ā consciousness. i just wish i was never givenĀ consciousness in the first place. i wish i was never taken from the blissful ignorance of my primordial soup.

i have a good life. i have food, a roof over my head. there are days when i experience beautiful things like friendship and adrenaline and happiness, but there's also a lot of lesser days in between. days when im slaving around because i need to earn a living to not starve, and there is societal pressure to be / have / look / feel certain things.

i wish i didn't have any of that. but being alive means i must partake in living, which comes with all of the things that life has to offer. and i don't want to experience everything that life has to offer: pain of loss, rejection, hardship, a lot of cloudy days before i can see a speck of sunshine. and i don't even like the sun.


why is it seen as a near mental illness to just not want to live? i never asked to be here.
17
Posts: 14620
Date: 23-03-2022 23:01
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ouch wrote:
I hate living its very boringĀ 
16
Posts: 96068
Date: 23-03-2022 23:04
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Sylvan wrote:
I feel like mentally healthy people don't experience those feelings?
Like they may not like the circumstances under which they exist but like not the existing part?Ā 
16
Posts: 18084
Date: 23-03-2022 23:06
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Koolaid wrote:
and i feel , primarily , for most of my life i am looking for a sedation from existence. i like being social once in a while, i like doing my stupid little self-care moments, and having milestones, and having celebrations for those milestones. but when i'm done after a night out i just want to crawl in a hole and stay there forever. the buzz i get from socializing is nice but i realize i often use it to distract myself from my resting state: which is a screeching, deafening desire to be sedated again so i don't need to think about my existence.

if nothing matters then everything matters. and i wish i could just go through life , white picket fence style. but i also abhor mundanity. why must i take this rite of passage into consciousness just in order to retreat into the infinite abyss of non-existence. i have been torn from my eternal peace, rudely awakened into being alive. and i had no say in it. and i cannot opt-out. ego is terribly lonely
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Posts: 14620
Date: 23-03-2022 23:07
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Koolaid wrote:
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Posts: 14620
Date: 23-03-2022 23:08
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ouch wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
I feel like mentally healthy people don't experience those feelings?
Like they may not like the circumstances under which they exist but like not the existing part?Ā 
Mby if u count not wanting to exist as being mentally unhealthy in itself, but I don't consider someone mentally unhealthy if that is their only "symptom" of mental health issues
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Posts: 96068
Date: 23-03-2022 23:08
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Koolaid wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
I feel like mentally healthy people don't experience those feelings?
Like they may not like the circumstances under which they exist but like not the existing part?Ā 
i don't know. i know multiple people, who are pretty functional human beings, have pondered about existentialism. and some indeed don't see a higher purpose in living, but they live anyways.
17
Posts: 14620
Date: 23-03-2022 23:08
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ouch wrote:
ouch wrote:
I hate living its very boringĀ 
If I was rich I would be happy to exist I think, fun times. As long as I have the money to buy and do exactly what I want, im good. Drugors. šŸ‘šŸ‘šŸ‘ Lol, but fr tho. The boring part is having to do stuff I don't want to, and as long as I have to do stuff I don't want to I have no enjoyment in living
16
Posts: 96068
Date: 23-03-2022 23:10
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Sylvan wrote:
Koolaid wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
I feel like mentally healthy people don't experience those feelings?
Like they may not like the circumstances under which they exist but like not the existing part?Ā 
i don't know. i know multiple people, who are pretty functional human beings, have pondered about existentialism. and some indeed don't see a higher purpose in living, but they live anyways.
Is not seeing a point in something and not wanting to exist the same thing?Ā 
Some people are happy existing without a purpose, some need a purpose.Ā 
16
Posts: 18084
Date: 23-03-2022 23:10
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Koolaid wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
Koolaid wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
I feel like mentally healthy people don't experience those feelings?
Like they may not like the circumstances under which they exist but like not the existing part?Ā 
i don't know. i know multiple people, who are pretty functional human beings, have pondered about existentialism. and some indeed don't see a higher purpose in living, but they live anyways.
Is not seeing a point in something and not wanting to exist the same thing?Ā 
Some people are happy existing without a purpose, some need a purpose.Ā 
oh no they're not the same thing indeed. but yea there are multiple people who i've talked w irl who say they'd also rather not have been born at all.
17
Posts: 14620
Date: 23-03-2022 23:11
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Sylvan wrote:
Koolaid wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
Koolaid wrote:
i don't know. i know multiple people, who are pretty functional human beings, have pondered about existentialism. and some indeed don't see a higher purpose in living, but they live anyways.
Is not seeing a point in something and not wanting to exist the same thing?Ā 
Some people are happy existing without a purpose, some need a purpose.Ā 
oh no they're not the same thing indeed. but yea there are multiple people who i've talked w irl who say they'd also rather not have been born at all.
I myself am more of a can't change shit that has already happened so why worry about it kind of person.Ā 
16
Posts: 18084
Date: 23-03-2022 23:12
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Danielle wrote:
i feel the same way and pretty much always have. i would be fine with dying, as long as it isn't something traumatic. i just live and do things because i have no choice.Ā 
19
Posts: 17001
Date: 24-03-2022 06:26
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devilcake wrote:
I have genuinely considered making this exact thread before but it would probably have been less coherent lmao


tbf tho I did also struggle with suicidal ideation or w/e for a while, but now Iā€™m a bit like,,,, whatā€™s so bad with not wanting to exist just a bit or not caring that much if u do šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø
19
Posts: 198353
Date: 24-03-2022 06:58
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wrote:
You could like get a farm and plant some potatoes to live off-grid if society is what you don't like. It takes balls and work but, I mean...
Date: 24-03-2022 07:26
Thecellabration
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thecellabration wrote:
big same
i just don't want anything not the bad and not the good i don't want to be here
20
Posts: 4737
Date: 24-03-2022 08:40
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