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General < General
Im so tragic
Account deleted




wrote:
Clearly, dad and I can only be buddies when he's half dead in a sofa w phenumonia, and im quarter dead in a sofa with idk what even at this point.
Anyways, yeah, he promised not to leave me at home alone for easter and not go to the cabin if he got well enough before me - which he has done. And help me w my assignment! And i told him then and there, I did not believe him. That he would go back on his words or twist the situation as soon as it suited him. He denied he'd do that. The day after, he was already making plans even if I was feeling much worse than him at that point. Then he planned for me to come after a day later w my aunt (without my agreement or knowledge). And now he literally left me for two days to go to his gf?? He decided it this morning and as he was driving me to my mom for mw to meet my bff and sis and bun for first time in weeks/days, he came w his old "i expect mom has dinner for you" me: no. *points at clock. * its half past 1. And why would she have food for me, she isn't even home rn? Shes at a birthday. And then he was like "im leaving" and an hour later he sends me a text message saying hell be back tomorrow evening or tirsday morning bc he promised to go to the cinema w sis. And then cabin on Wednesday. :/


Yeah like im fucking tragix bc it was nice feeling like i had a buddy in sickness, but i guess it was back to old shit when he got well enough. The signs were there as he recovered - all the complains, all the annoyances where he sounds so angry, the commentary, the insistent talk of "we are better now" just bc he felt better. The weird ass pittying remarks as he was getting better and I was coughing a lung out. And yesterday he even... Like.. Massaged my shoulders which is the most compassion ive felt from his side in years?? And he returned some favors by making and serving me some food (as i did to him sick af when he was sicker af). 

The worst is, i cant even blame him for "living his life" as this point. I just want him to stop lying and telling half truths and actually be trustworthy. 

It made me big sad like I was expecting I was gonna be home from mom at this point and that we were gonna watch a nature program on tv together tonight. Instead im just sipping like a kid (probably bc im overwhelmed, exhausted and absolutely need a break from sickness at this point as well) at my moms and I don't even care to push it in like yeah it made me sad sorry not sorry 
Date: 10-04-2022 17:00 | Times changed: 7
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Streetmusician



kruspersille wrote:
why do u live w him if u dont mind me asking
14
Posts: 58484
Date: 10-04-2022 17:21
Account deleted




wrote:
kruspersille wrote:
why do u live w him if u dont mind me asking
I am moving out in fall for student housing! I managed to grab an appartment last weekend when I was dying in bed. 

Bc my bunny lives there, and it's my childhood home. The nature, space, silence. Moms apartment makes me feel confined inside a tiny box. It's also, unfortunately, in the possession of the only safe spaces for my anxiety as that's where i have been living since I aquired it. Until this last year, I haven't really been in a position where I'd feel like I could manage on my own either. 
Date: 10-04-2022 17:28 | Times changed: 4
Private
World famous



bee wrote:
Eostre wrote:
kruspersille wrote:
why do u live w him if u dont mind me asking
I am moving out in fall for student housing! I managed to grab an appartment last weekend when I was dying in bed. 

Bc my bunny lives there, and it's my childhood home. The nature, space, silence. Moms apartment makes me feel confined inside a tiny box. It's also, unfortunately, in the possession of the only safe spaces for my anxiety as that's where i have been living since I aquired it. Until this last year, I haven't really been in a position where I'd feel like I could manage on my own either. 
i really really get you on this. ive been living in the same house out on the country surrounded by nature my entire life. i love the house and the familiar nature around it, but living with my family is causing so much stress. especially my dad, too, is messing me up. i wanna get away from my family but at the same time, living alone in an apartment in the city feels so scary for so many reasons
i really hope the best for you in the near future and that moving will cause you some happiness and peace bc you really deserve it 
18
Posts: 13567
Date: 10-04-2022 17:59
Private
World famous



bee wrote:
also you are not tragic, your dad is the tragic one here
18
Posts: 13567
Date: 10-04-2022 18:01
Account deleted




wrote:
bee wrote:
Eostre wrote:
kruspersille wrote:
why do u live w him if u dont mind me asking
I am moving out in fall for student housing! I managed to grab an appartment last weekend when I was dying in bed. 

Bc my bunny lives there, and it's my childhood home. The nature, space, silence. Moms apartment makes me feel confined inside a tiny box. It's also, unfortunately, in the possession of the only safe spaces for my anxiety as that's where i have been living since I aquired it. Until this last year, I haven't really been in a position where I'd feel like I could manage on my own either. 
i really really get you on this. ive been living in the same house out on the country surrounded by nature my entire life. i love the house and the familiar nature around it, but living with my family is causing so much stress. especially my dad, too, is messing me up. i wanna get away from my family but at the same time, living alone in an apartment in the city feels so scary for so many reasons
i really hope the best for you in the near future and that moving will cause you some happiness and peace bc you really deserve it 
In the future, if all our other options fail, lets move in together somewhere nice? 
Date: 10-04-2022 18:33
Account deleted




wrote:
I am just so physically and emotionally exhausted after this last month... And now i get home and our garage is flooded and i wanna leave again bc im scared about the quick clay
Date: 10-04-2022 18:36
Account deleted




wrote:
Eostre wrote:
I am just so physically and emotionally exhausted after this last month... And now i get home and our garage is flooded and i wanna leave again bc im scared about the quick clay
And mom is outside fixing it saying "she's doing this for me" bc we both know it's an issue and how dad is. I just can't deal w all of this rn. 
Date: 10-04-2022 18:37
Private
World famous



bee wrote:
Eostre wrote:
bee wrote:
Eostre wrote:
I am moving out in fall for student housing! I managed to grab an appartment last weekend when I was dying in bed. 

Bc my bunny lives there, and it's my childhood home. The nature, space, silence. Moms apartment makes me feel confined inside a tiny box. It's also, unfortunately, in the possession of the only safe spaces for my anxiety as that's where i have been living since I aquired it. Until this last year, I haven't really been in a position where I'd feel like I could manage on my own either. 
i really really get you on this. ive been living in the same house out on the country surrounded by nature my entire life. i love the house and the familiar nature around it, but living with my family is causing so much stress. especially my dad, too, is messing me up. i wanna get away from my family but at the same time, living alone in an apartment in the city feels so scary for so many reasons
i really hope the best for you in the near future and that moving will cause you some happiness and peace bc you really deserve it 
In the future, if all our other options fail, lets move in together somewhere nice? 
its a deal ❤️
18
Posts: 13567
Date: 10-04-2022 18:40
Account deleted




wrote:
bee wrote:
Eostre wrote:
bee wrote:
i really really get you on this. ive been living in the same house out on the country surrounded by nature my entire life. i love the house and the familiar nature around it, but living with my family is causing so much stress. especially my dad, too, is messing me up. i wanna get away from my family but at the same time, living alone in an apartment in the city feels so scary for so many reasons
i really hope the best for you in the near future and that moving will cause you some happiness and peace bc you really deserve it 
In the future, if all our other options fail, lets move in together somewhere nice? 
its a deal ❤️
Great 🤝
Date: 10-04-2022 18:44
Account deleted




wrote:
Mom messaged dad about the flooding and he didn't open the images first so he was like "what's the issue? I left her in your care."
 Her, being me, who have heard nothing about this or had a say in it. Who expected to go back home after 2hrs because this was a small try to get out of the house for the first time in weeks kind of things. Who's literally a legal adult. He keeps doing this sort of thing over and over, and some times it is so clear that he's trying to ease his own guilt for leaving bc he's projecting so hard. 
Date: 10-04-2022 19:40 | Times changed: 1
Account deleted




wrote:
Eostre wrote:
Mom messaged dad about the flooding and he didn't open the images first so he was like "what's the issue? I left her in your care."
 Her, being me, who have heard nothing about this or had a say in it. Who expected to go back home after 2hrs because this was a small try to get out of the house for the first time in weeks kind of things. Who's literally a legal adult. He keeps doing this sort of thing over and over, and some times it is so clear that he's trying to ease his own guilt for leaving bc he's projecting so hard. 
Then he said thank  u to mom for saving his flooded garage. 
Then I left w mom because it didn't feel safe to stay at home there alone. 
Date: 10-04-2022 19:41
Account deleted




wrote:
I just remembered he told me he'd go home to eat and leave me food, which I'm still barely able to prepare. And I got home, and he hadn't made or left anything because somewhere in his mind he had put me over on moms sleeve. I was planning to go home after 2hrs bc I am still sick and exhausted, and I expected him to be there, and like none of that happened. I am at moms and im exhausted in a buzzy environment where 3 floors of people probably will hear me blow my nose and cough for hours in the morning. 

I'm just so disappointed in him, and I feel betrayed, and mislead and uninformed and I am pissed he's such a coward he cannot even run plans by me - a 25yo - before he stashes me at my moms like I am a grocery haul to put properly into the fridge. 

Yeah btw I FOUND MY ICE CREAM IN THE FRIDGE WHEN I WAS HOME. IN. THE. FRIDGE. AND THIS DUDE IS ALLOWED BEHIND WHEELS FOR 2HRS?
Date: 10-04-2022 22:35
Account deleted




wrote:
It was a nice dream to feel properly cared for for a day. Like a warm hug. Like I didn't realize how much I'd miss it before he turned shit again. 

Ps, i will repeat myself until i stop being hurt. Also I've complained to everyone irl as well 
Date: 10-04-2022 22:37 | Times changed: 1
Account deleted




wrote:
I am still pissed, I cant sleep. 

My brain is just running around with all the things he's done to me that I'd like to scream at his face
Date: 11-04-2022 01:57 | Times changed: 1
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