wrote:
Clearly, dad and I can only be buddies when he's half dead in a sofa w phenumonia, and im quarter dead in a sofa with idk what even at this point.
Anyways, yeah, he promised not to leave me at home alone for easter and not go to the cabin if he got well enough before me - which he has done. And help me w my assignment! And i told him then and there, I did not believe him. That he would go back on his words or twist the situation as soon as it suited him. He denied he'd do that. The day after, he was already making plans even if I was feeling much worse than him at that point. Then he planned for me to come after a day later w my aunt (without my agreement or knowledge). And now he literally left me for two days to go to his gf?? He decided it this morning and as he was driving me to my mom for mw to meet my bff and sis and bun for first time in weeks/days, he came w his old "i expect mom has dinner for you" me: no. *points at clock. * its half past 1. And why would she have food for me, she isn't even home rn? Shes at a birthday. And then he was like "im leaving" and an hour later he sends me a text message saying hell be back tomorrow evening or tirsday morning bc he promised to go to the cinema w sis. And then cabin on Wednesday. :/
Yeah like im fucking tragix bc it was nice feeling like i had a buddy in sickness, but i guess it was back to old shit when he got well enough. The signs were there as he recovered - all the complains, all the annoyances where he sounds so angry, the commentary, the insistent talk of "we are better now" just bc he felt better. The weird ass pittying remarks as he was getting better and I was coughing a lung out. And yesterday he even... Like.. Massaged my shoulders which is the most compassion ive felt from his side in years?? And he returned some favors by making and serving me some food (as i did to him sick af when he was sicker af).
The worst is, i cant even blame him for "living his life" as this point. I just want him to stop lying and telling half truths and actually be trustworthy.
It made me big sad like I was expecting I was gonna be home from mom at this point and that we were gonna watch a nature program on tv together tonight. Instead im just sipping like a kid (probably bc im overwhelmed, exhausted and absolutely need a break from sickness at this point as well) at my moms and I don't even care to push it in like yeah it made me sad sorry not sorry
Clearly, dad and I can only be buddies when he's half dead in a sofa w phenumonia, and im quarter dead in a sofa with idk what even at this point.
Anyways, yeah, he promised not to leave me at home alone for easter and not go to the cabin if he got well enough before me - which he has done. And help me w my assignment! And i told him then and there, I did not believe him. That he would go back on his words or twist the situation as soon as it suited him. He denied he'd do that. The day after, he was already making plans even if I was feeling much worse than him at that point. Then he planned for me to come after a day later w my aunt (without my agreement or knowledge). And now he literally left me for two days to go to his gf?? He decided it this morning and as he was driving me to my mom for mw to meet my bff and sis and bun for first time in weeks/days, he came w his old "i expect mom has dinner for you" me: no. *points at clock. * its half past 1. And why would she have food for me, she isn't even home rn? Shes at a birthday. And then he was like "im leaving" and an hour later he sends me a text message saying hell be back tomorrow evening or tirsday morning bc he promised to go to the cinema w sis. And then cabin on Wednesday. :/
Yeah like im fucking tragix bc it was nice feeling like i had a buddy in sickness, but i guess it was back to old shit when he got well enough. The signs were there as he recovered - all the complains, all the annoyances where he sounds so angry, the commentary, the insistent talk of "we are better now" just bc he felt better. The weird ass pittying remarks as he was getting better and I was coughing a lung out. And yesterday he even... Like.. Massaged my shoulders which is the most compassion ive felt from his side in years?? And he returned some favors by making and serving me some food (as i did to him sick af when he was sicker af).
The worst is, i cant even blame him for "living his life" as this point. I just want him to stop lying and telling half truths and actually be trustworthy.
It made me big sad like I was expecting I was gonna be home from mom at this point and that we were gonna watch a nature program on tv together tonight. Instead im just sipping like a kid (probably bc im overwhelmed, exhausted and absolutely need a break from sickness at this point as well) at my moms and I don't even care to push it in like yeah it made me sad sorry not sorry