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here is my complaint
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
@ god, help

I have together spent 3 weeks in hospital recently and am on 2 week sicks leave
because
stupid bipolar taking over my life once again

mania be like
speed speed speed, need to move, hallucinations, delusions, psychotic, can't sleep, can't focus, people probably thinking i'm strange

depression be like
close the curtains crawl into bed can't get up, lay there for hours staring at the curtains. suicidal, slowed down speech and movements sounds like im on benzo, can't feel joy can't feel shit

and honestly
i've been told not to feel shame because it isn't my fault but i'm not some fucking mental health advocate, i take 8 pills a day and idk if that's enough. anyway now i'm an addict and i get why it was hard to stay sober

how it used to be
manic for at least 2 weeks, depressed for a month, "normal" for 2 weeks. repeat. "rapid cycling". no way 2 live life. psychosis like every other month

and also
i just don't get it ?? how does it happen in the brain and WHY ?
i was recently manic and in the hospital and i was told mania can damage the brain
and all of this also damages relationships, self image, my abaility to work. i'm supposed to come out the other side and inspiration and strong but i come out of episodes and idk who i am or when the next one is coming and who is afraid/sick of me.

thanks
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 16-04-2022 14:23
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
it can be very lonely. i even started going to a self help group, but everyone except 1 other had bipolar type 2
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 16-04-2022 14:33
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
also sucks that i have so much shame around me
i rarely talk about it with people around me
my mom found out i had it like 4 years after i've been diagnosed lol
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 16-04-2022 14:37
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
and i feel like everytime i talk about it with someone they're just like
shrug
and i think okay so it's not so bad
but honestly whenever i think about it i want to die
not really sure how i'm supposed to deal with it
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 16-04-2022 14:46
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Also meds ruining my teeth is no fun
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 16-04-2022 15:37
Private
International star



Coralin wrote:
have the meds rly done anything?
18
Posts: 12668
Date: 16-04-2022 15:54
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Coralin wrote:
have the meds rly done anything?
yes a lot. I had never been that stable ever until few months ago
stress can be a trigger for episodes but i guess the meds should still work more than they have
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 16-04-2022 16:05
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
i remember when i had 3 months without an episode and i celebrated with a friend lmao
now i'm thinking like
what if i can get an entire year that would be p cool
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 16-04-2022 16:13 | Times changed: 1
Private
International star



Coralin wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Coralin wrote:
have the meds rly done anything?
yes a lot. I had never been that stable ever until few months ago
stress can be a trigger for episodes but i guess the meds should still work more than they have
good good
i hope it calms down again. your symptoms are really extreme so yeah, all the good to u
18
Posts: 12668
Date: 16-04-2022 16:53
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Coralin wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Coralin wrote:
have the meds rly done anything?
yes a lot. I had never been that stable ever until few months ago
stress can be a trigger for episodes but i guess the meds should still work more than they have
good good
i hope it calms down again. your symptoms are really extreme so yeah, all the good to u
yes i hope so too
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 16-04-2022 16:58
Private
World famous



Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Coralin wrote:
have the meds rly done anything?
yes a lot. I had never been that stable ever until few months ago
stress can be a trigger for episodes but i guess the meds should still work more than they have
stress, but also poor sleep & diet (cruel, right?)

my moms mania is triggered every fucking time she goes thru something medical - which happens a lot because of cancer. It's exhausting.

I do hope you find some relief and peace soon. Have the hospital stays been helpful to you?
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 16-04-2022 16:59
Private
World famous



Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Also meds ruining my teeth is no fun
this may be a good enough reason to see if you can get a dentist to seal your teeth.
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 16-04-2022 17:00
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Also meds ruining my teeth is no fun
this may be a good enough reason to see if you can get a dentist to seal your teeth.
i'm seeing one later this month to book a time to get some holes filled
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 16-04-2022 17:02
Private
World famous



Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Also meds ruining my teeth is no fun
this may be a good enough reason to see if you can get a dentist to seal your teeth.
i'm seeing one later this month to book a time to get some holes filled
good, you should specifically mention your meds and that they're causing teeth damage.

I have to make myself notes whenever I think of things to ask doctors, because I always freeze up and forget when I'm finally there
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 16-04-2022 17:05
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Coralin wrote:
have the meds rly done anything?
yes a lot. I had never been that stable ever until few months ago
stress can be a trigger for episodes but i guess the meds should still work more than they have
stress, but also poor sleep & diet (cruel, right?)

my moms mania is triggered every fucking time she goes thru something medical - which happens a lot because of cancer. It's exhausting.

I do hope you find some relief and peace soon. Have the hospital stays been helpful to you?
yep. keeping w my sleep schedule is the easiest one but somestimes life is just stressful. got a doctors note to take time off from work hoping i can just relax for a while

thank you.
they helped me go from manic to normal in the hospital but except from that idk. i have a doctors appointment next week hoping that will help
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 16-04-2022 17:07
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
this may be a good enough reason to see if you can get a dentist to seal your teeth.
i'm seeing one later this month to book a time to get some holes filled
good, you should specifically mention your meds and that they're causing teeth damage.

I have to make myself notes whenever I think of things to ask doctors, because I always freeze up and forget when I'm finally there
yes they usually ask if i'm on any meds
so glad i don't pay for dental care until next year lol ive never had a hole in a tooth in my life until these meds
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 16-04-2022 17:09
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