Bloodflowers wrote:
@ god, help
I have together spent 3 weeks in hospital recently and am on 2 week sicks leave
because
stupid bipolar taking over my life once again
mania be like
speed speed speed, need to move, hallucinations, delusions, psychotic, can't sleep, can't focus, people probably thinking i'm strange
depression be like
close the curtains crawl into bed can't get up, lay there for hours staring at the curtains. suicidal, slowed down speech and movements sounds like im on benzo, can't feel joy can't feel shit
and honestly
i've been told not to feel shame because it isn't my fault but i'm not some fucking mental health advocate, i take 8 pills a day and idk if that's enough. anyway now i'm an addict and i get why it was hard to stay sober
how it used to be
manic for at least 2 weeks, depressed for a month, "normal" for 2 weeks. repeat. "rapid cycling". no way 2 live life. psychosis like every other month
and also
i just don't get it ?? how does it happen in the brain and WHY ?
i was recently manic and in the hospital and i was told mania can damage the brain
and all of this also damages relationships, self image, my abaility to work. i'm supposed to come out the other side and inspiration and strong but i come out of episodes and idk who i am or when the next one is coming and who is afraid/sick of me.
thanks
@ god, help
I have together spent 3 weeks in hospital recently and am on 2 week sicks leave
because
stupid bipolar taking over my life once again
mania be like
speed speed speed, need to move, hallucinations, delusions, psychotic, can't sleep, can't focus, people probably thinking i'm strange
depression be like
close the curtains crawl into bed can't get up, lay there for hours staring at the curtains. suicidal, slowed down speech and movements sounds like im on benzo, can't feel joy can't feel shit
and honestly
i've been told not to feel shame because it isn't my fault but i'm not some fucking mental health advocate, i take 8 pills a day and idk if that's enough. anyway now i'm an addict and i get why it was hard to stay sober
how it used to be
manic for at least 2 weeks, depressed for a month, "normal" for 2 weeks. repeat. "rapid cycling". no way 2 live life. psychosis like every other month
and also
i just don't get it ?? how does it happen in the brain and WHY ?
i was recently manic and in the hospital and i was told mania can damage the brain
and all of this also damages relationships, self image, my abaility to work. i'm supposed to come out the other side and inspiration and strong but i come out of episodes and idk who i am or when the next one is coming and who is afraid/sick of me.
thanks