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bee wrote:
hes been with her for FOUR YEARS
and i think we have something special bc we shared tattoo ideas today
i dont understand why im always coming back to this guy
cant get over him
i 
am
so
DUMB

bee wrote:
im the saddest person to live going through her ig and seeing so many pics of them together and i wish it was me
doesnt help she looks a lot like me too lol 
just prettier 

Dreamstone wrote:
Girl looks don't matter and if he has a gf and is happy with her than.....you have to get over him and  do they look happy in the pictures? and happy irl? if they do you have to get over him and find someone else ik it can be hard but still 4 years?

cutesy wrote:
this is the best advice ive seen today <3

Abby wrote:
it doesn't matter the looks, I'm also sure it's your insecurity talking, but it's fine, it takes time to fully realize our values and beauty.
It is not pathetic, and you're not dumb, you're just human, with a storm of emotion, 
I know how nerve-wracking at times remembering this can be, but you'll recover and one day you'll move on, but at some point, you have to actively start doing stuff and taking steps toward ending it.

if you really believe he's happier with her maybe it's for the better, you deserve just that, a person who'll truly make you happy, and that is most likely not him.

the process is long but you've got to take the steps after so many years, even baby steps, that was my mistake and why I had to deal with that situation for 7 years until I actively started doing stuff for myself, and eventually, it worked, and while yes, at times I still miss him, it's as the good friend he used to be, and it's alright, but it doesn't cloud my head anymore.

You will get over him, and find someone more worthy of you.

It sounds like you guys are still in contact? maybe it'll be better to take a step back for a while? you need not only to take him out of your head but also life, at least for a while
as much as I'm the type of person that believes exes CAN be civil later on or people with unresolved past crushes, or ya know, if you had somewhat of a past?
but both sides need to heal, and if he's in your life right now, and in your head and heart, you really should step back, take some time off, not look at his social media even though it is SOOO tempting, you deserve this peace of mind and you're not helping yourself by having him around like this

Dreamstone wrote:
Girl looks don't matter and if he has a gf and is happy with her than.....you have to get over him and  do they look happy in the pictures? and happy irl? if they do you have to get over him and find someone else ik it can be hard but still 4 years?

bee wrote:
i dont think... he is happier with her. maybe he is. they look happy and intimate in the pics. but since were still in contact sometimes we will talk about it. the first two years it was all good and lovely and i didnt mind cus i was in a relationship too back then. but at some point he started talking about breaking up with her but he was unsure. i told him to not stay in a relationship longer that supposed to if it didnt feel right, something i would have told anyone. it gave me hope for a while but they never did break up. sometimes he would tell me about how mad she always was and tell me im so much more positive. one time i randomly walked past them on the street and later when we talked about it i told him i thought his gf was really pretty. he responded with disagreeing and saying she wasnt pretty right there, just mad. at that point i think he also started flirting with me a bit. i would send random selfies on snap, just as streak so like it wasnt just to him, and he would compliment me, telling me i was pretty every time. i began sending more selfies just to get these compliments. sometimes we would talk about the good old times (when we were a thing, not together together, but we were something... for eight months)always him initiating the topic. one time we met on a night out and it was the first time seeing each other in maybe four years. i remember the night as almost magical. i made a thread about it i will swe if i can find it. i think what he was doing was like... testing the waters, seeing how it was being single. but he was also playing with my heart and messing with my mind. all this was last year, its not like this anymore, we just text casually now once in while. nowadays when i ask how its going between them (not like i do that all the time but he sometimes asks me about my love life too so its not like im weird) he says theres the usual ups and downs but its alright. i feel like thats not what youre supposed to answer when people ask about your relationship. so i dont know if im supposed to be happy for them

Abby wrote:
it doesn't matter the looks, I'm also sure it's your insecurity talking, but it's fine, it takes time to fully realize our values and beauty.
It is not pathetic, and you're not dumb, you're just human, with a storm of emotion, 
I know how nerve-wracking at times remembering this can be, but you'll recover and one day you'll move on, but at some point, you have to actively start doing stuff and taking steps toward ending it.

if you really believe he's happier with her maybe it's for the better, you deserve just that, a person who'll truly make you happy, and that is most likely not him.

the process is long but you've got to take the steps after so many years, even baby steps, that was my mistake and why I had to deal with that situation for 7 years until I actively started doing stuff for myself, and eventually, it worked, and while yes, at times I still miss him, it's as the good friend he used to be, and it's alright, as it doesn't cloud my head anymore.

You will get over him, and find someone more worthy of you.

It sounds like you guys are still in contact? maybe it'll be better to take a step back for a while? you need not only to take him out of your head but also life, at least for a while
as much as I'm the type of person that believes exes CAN be civil later on or people with unresolved past crushes, or ya know, if you had somewhat of a past?
but both sides need to heal, and if he's in your life right now, and in your head and heart, you really should step back, take some time off, not look at his social media even though it is SOOO tempting, you deserve this peace of mind and you're not helping yourself by having him around like this

Dreamstone wrote:
Oh wow um honestly idk how to respond to that 

bee wrote:
thank you this feels like a big warm hug of advice i really needed right now 
deep down i know i shouldnt be talking to him like i am, cus even tough i try to deny it, feelings are still involved from my side. and the feeling sucks. but at the same time im incredibly lonely and struggling to meet new people, but hes always been there and its comfortable and im really in a need of something that feels like a friend. honestly i wish i could just throw these feelings in the trash and be actual friends with him. i think we would be good platonically. idk

Abby wrote:
I had the EXACT situation and my ex-best friend did it to keep me by his side, 
He does something he should not be doing, good relationship or not, 
but after reading this, happy or not,
it seems to me like you MIGHT be the backup option if shit hits the fan, or was at least?

this was my situation, and holy shit man it was BAD
SO bad.

you should REALLY distance yourself if you want to be honest with him before you do, but you don't owe him any explanation, 
but in a way I really get you... most be the person that you felt truly comfortable with him,
in my case I was down SO bad because my ex-best friend was THE only person that understood meand  we had this weird emotional and spiritual connection and it was SO hard letting go but it was neccesery .

so eventually I cut him off after HIS gf demanded he cut me off
so yeah
ever since then he messaged me once in a while and it's.. yeah I brush him off