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kissing n consent
Private
Youtube star



Limbs wrote:
do you think you need to ask someone for permission before kissing them? (assuming this is not a person you've kissed before.) does it depend on the situation? if so when do you need to ask and when not?
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 30-04-2022 00:06
Reaper
Popstar



Reaper wrote:
always better to ask
19
Posts: 33160
Date: 30-04-2022 00:08
Private
National star



Sylvan wrote:
I would be fucking furious if someone kissed me without my consent.
16
Posts: 17933
Date: 30-04-2022 00:11
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Streetmusician



commander2 wrote:
i feel like u cn also sorta initiate it while leaving room 4 th other 2 kiss back if tht makes sense?
Like I wouldn't like if someone jsut does it bc im not a fan of kissing anyway 
17
Posts: 30167
Date: 30-04-2022 00:21
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Limbs wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
I would be fucking furious if someone kissed me without my consent.
yes but like can consent be gathered from other clues than verbally saying it? like say you're on a date and you're getting along well, flirting, touching their arm and stuff like that. do they still need to ask you first?
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 30-04-2022 00:29
Dwaal
International star



Dwaal wrote:
I've never asked or been asked about a kiss before .. it just sorta comes w the flow (at least it has so far) never been kissed against my will either tho, so I guess consent can come in different forms I wouldn't know how to describe it tho 
16
Posts: 4522
Date: 30-04-2022 00:34
Private
World famous



Rotte wrote:
If it is out of the blue, yea i think you should ask. 
21
Posts: 70325
Date: 30-04-2022 00:47
Private
Youtube star



Limbs wrote:
Dwaal wrote:
I've never asked or been asked about a kiss before .. it just sorta comes w the flow (at least it has so far) never been kissed against my will either tho, so I guess consent can come in different forms I wouldn't know how to describe it tho 
ya same
i think asking can be nice nd reaffirming even if you think it's obvious theyre ok with you kissing them, but idk if i think it's always necessary
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 30-04-2022 03:09
Private
World famous



Claire wrote:
commander2 wrote:
i feel like u cn also sorta initiate it while leaving room 4 th other 2 kiss back if tht makes sense?
Like I wouldn't like if someone jsut does it bc im not a fan of kissing anyway 
like you can lean forward and see if they lean forward and then you lean closer and then they lean closer and then u can like move ur head and they close their eyes and weve basically had a conversation about how we about to kiss 
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 30-04-2022 04:24
Hungover
National star



hungover wrote:
its always hotter when people ask
16
Posts: 3687
Date: 30-04-2022 04:25
Private
World famous



Claire wrote:
Claire wrote:
commander2 wrote:
i feel like u cn also sorta initiate it while leaving room 4 th other 2 kiss back if tht makes sense?
Like I wouldn't like if someone jsut does it bc im not a fan of kissing anyway 
like you can lean forward and see if they lean forward and then you lean closer and then they lean closer and then u can like move ur head and they close their eyes and weve basically had a conversation about how we about to kiss 
or like if i lean in and u lean back we've had a conversation too and im gonna pretend i didnt just lean in 
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 30-04-2022 04:36
Private
International star



uhyre wrote:
i think it depends a lot

i dont think u should ever kiss someone u wouldnt feel ok ASKING to kiss before, but like non verbal communication is very effective when all parties know how to read each other. ive never experienced (after childhood. school yard kisses are another beast) someone just kissing me out of the blue with no cues or warnings i could have rejected beforehand, and ive never done it to someone else either (regarding situations where explicit consent wasnt verbally asked). i find it easy enough to give off rejection without explicitly stating it, and ive never had anyone not pick up on it. like i dont think asking ruins the vibes, but i dont think u always need to ask to have the vibes confirmed either

but also the first time my bf and i kissed, it was (more or less, bc were funny jokey ppl) explicitly asked and that was nice too u know. clear intent, no uncertainty. i think if ur at all unsure of urself or the person u want to kiss, u should ask, bc u dont actually know how theyre feeling about the situation. and i think there are plenty of non awkward ways to ask (like honestly having a good time, sometimes a blunt "do u want to x" can be a bit jarring) that dont have to break whatever flow is going on

so long story short i dont think u always need to, but i do think u should always be able to
17
Posts: 28887
Date: 30-04-2022 09:41
Private
Princess of Pop



Arthema wrote:
this is a really uh
uhhh
man, it really depends?
 
like a little "can I?" at the beginning of the leaning in if it's a first date or just the beginning of the thing?
like 
it can just flow? but when the question IS brought up it's just...
idk there's something so powerful and reassuring and consent is very seggsy yes

I have 2 good examples
a date I went on, a dude took me out and it was alright, kinda dry and I was not SUPER into him or that date as a whole, and outta nowhere he asked me to close my eyes and I'm just like thinking to myself bruh wtf does he want to like... idk give me something or.....? and outta nowhere he just kissed me and I was like WHOA mate back off

him telling me he doesn't understand what he did wrong, so I was like bruh did I give you any signal or like did it LOOK like it was going that direction? did we have any actual chemistry? and his answer was 
"well I thought it could liven things up idk...."
so I just got up and was like "nah man, consent is a thing and as you saw, I'm not into that OR you, you're boring and dry and too self-centered so NO THANKS" and walked home lol


OH THE OTHER HAND
my ex and I we had a really good buildup for our relationship and we slooowly got into it and one day he visited me and we just watched this show?? he asked me to sit with him, so I asked to sit on him
after a while we just forgot that show and were laughing and talking and I guess something about being close to a person you like makes you naturally drawn to them, so we had a moment of leaning into each other, and while I did NOT expect it he asked me "can I?" so yee brain went haywire and I just went in AHA

so yeah if like the situation is perfect for it and it is obvious both of u want it? like... not necessary
but YES consent is good very seggsy
17
Posts: 39180
Date: 30-04-2022 09:57
Private
Princess of Pop



Arthema wrote:
Oh my god, this thread takes me back to meeting my bf for the first time after we already TALKED about kissing and all of the things couples talk about how with that we basically both consent to stuff but no matter what we talked about before,

All of that went OUT THE WINDOW when I actually met him and he was the cutest human being asking me if I'm comfortable with him and just making sure I'm alright due to past experiences 
17
Posts: 39180
Date: 30-04-2022 10:02
Pitbull
Popstar



Pitbull wrote:
Thinking back I've had to people kiss me where I actually verbally gave the consent. First was in a game like a dare (ended up dating him lol) where he asked if it was ok. Second time was also at a party where idk i just told him to do x bc he implied it was a dry truth n dare or something (ended up doing the dirty bad memory LOL )


All the other times has just been like...a flow? as others have mentioned. 

It's honestly a really good question.
18
Posts: 11412
Date: 30-04-2022 10:58
Private
Youtube star



devilcake wrote:
can't hurt amirite

but yeah idk i think it depends on context n stuff 
19
Posts: 186787
Date: 30-04-2022 11:09
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