(! TW !) Can someone pls help me decide - Forum

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DaddyIssues wrote:
I feel like shit and don't know what to do.

I can't breathe and just want to lay down and stop.

I work two jobs and study. This has worked for a little while, but I hate one of the jobs to my core. I have 20,5h at that job this week and cry just thinking about it.

I feel so stressed that I don't know how to do anything. My chest hurts, I have cold sweats and it's hard to breathe. I don't know how to even move since everything hurts. Yet I feel nothing. I'm not in particular frustrated or sad about being this stressed. I'm just meh. I don't give a shit about anything, my whole body is just in auto-pilot. But it feels like it's gonna break if I keep going...

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Sad wrote:
try not to overwork yourself and run down your body, if you cant handle the extra work load maybe deffo quit one of these jobs, sobs or ask for unpaid leave and take a break for one of the jobs

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Sobbing wrote:
u should lean onto other people, emotionally and financially perhaps if you can and give up the job you dislike
studying + 2x jobs would be hard on anyone

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DaddyIssues wrote:

Sobbing wrote:
u should lean onto other people, emotionally and financially perhaps if you can and give up the job you dislike
studying + 2x jobs would be hard on anyone

I need to finish this semesters courses (cause I had meningitis and pneumonia for a few weeks) and I'm doing a summer course. So that is 150% of normal study tempo. One of the job is full time and one is half time.

That in total is 300% of a normal work week AKA 120h work/week. A week have 168h. I KNOW I can't physically do that. But I feel SUPER lazy if I give up on something.

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DaddyIssues wrote:
I took the day off from work to figure things out.

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Babel wrote:
As someone diagnosed with stress: it really seems like you have stress, and you have it in such a degree that you probably could get long term sick leave. If not yet, then definitely in the next month if you don't get some of the workload off your shoulders, which you definitely should.

I can't really give any solutions unfortunately, because I was told it would get better as soon as I caught a break. For chest pains I was told to focus on breathing in of one nostril and breathing out the other, it will make you focus on your breathing and stimulate you mentally, which might make you calm down a little.

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Babel wrote:

Effer wrote:
As someone diagnosed with stress: it really seems like you have stress, and you have it in such a degree that you probably could get long term sick leave. If not yet, then definitely in the next month if you don't get some of the workload off your shoulders, which you definitely should.

I can't really give any solutions unfortunately, because I was told it would get better as soon as I caught a break. For chest pains I was told to focus on breathing in of one nostril and breathing out the other, it will make you focus on your breathing and stimulate you mentally, which might make you calm down a little.

When I was at my lowest I had to lie down 30 minutes before putting groceries away while I just cried because my chest hurt that much and because I felt like the biggest failure. I order my groceries with home delivery, so it's not that straining to just put two bags of groceries away.

So honestly - this is your body telling you to stop and catch a break. Stress just becomes worse and doesn't just go away if you don't change something. It feels like a failure, but it is not. It is self care to stop and give your body the break it clearly needs.

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DaddyIssues wrote:
I'm writing a letter and my mom, who knows how I feel right now, just sent me a screenshot of my horoscope for today to show that "I might feel a little sad". I am legit crying so hard that I am laughing and laughing so hard that I'm puking.

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DaddyIssues wrote:

Effer wrote:

Effer wrote:
As someone diagnosed with stress: it really seems like you have stress, and you have it in such a degree that you probably could get long term sick leave. If not yet, then definitely in the next month if you don't get some of the workload off your shoulders, which you definitely should.

I can't really give any solutions unfortunately, because I was told it would get better as soon as I caught a break. For chest pains I was told to focus on breathing in of one nostril and breathing out the other, it will make you focus on your breathing and stimulate you mentally, which might make you calm down a little.

When I was at my lowest I had to lie down 30 minutes before putting groceries away while I just cried because my chest hurt that much and because I felt like the biggest failure. I order my groceries with home delivery, so it's not that straining to just put two bags of groceries away.

So honestly - this is your body telling you to stop and catch a break. Stress just be ones worse and doesn't just go away if you don't change something. It feels like a failure, but it is not. It is self care to stop and give your body the break it clearly needs.

That is what I know. I know I need a break. My body is SCREAMING it. But I feel like I can't without being the biggest failure.

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wrote:

DaddyIssues wrote:

Effer wrote:

Effer wrote:
As someone diagnosed with stress: it really seems like you have stress, and you have it in such a degree that you probably could get long term sick leave. If not yet, then definitely in the next month if you don't get some of the workload off your shoulders, which you definitely should.

I can't really give any solutions unfortunately, because I was told it would get better as soon as I caught a break. For chest pains I was told to focus on breathing in of one nostril and breathing out the other, it will make you focus on your breathing and stimulate you mentally, which might make you calm down a little.

When I was at my lowest I had to lie down 30 minutes before putting groceries away while I just cried because my chest hurt that much and because I felt like the biggest failure. I order my groceries with home delivery, so it's not that straining to just put two bags of groceries away.

So honestly - this is your body telling you to stop and catch a break. Stress just be ones worse and doesn't just go away if you don't change something. It feels like a failure, but it is not. It is self care to stop and give your body the break it clearly needs.

That is what I know. I know I need a break. My body is SCREAMING it. But I feel like I can't without being the biggest failure.

Listen to body, not brain. Brain will tell you whatever it wants. It's too logical sometimes. Body tells you what you need. And rest asure, you're not a failure. There are so many more things to value your worth up against than productivity. And burning out is absolutely not worth it. Its gonna be worse than a little bit of "failure." You'll probably feel better about the decition when you start feeling better yourself from less work, but don't make it stop you from making the decition you know you need rn.

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Babel wrote:

DaddyIssues wrote:

Effer wrote:

Effer wrote:
As someone diagnosed with stress: it really seems like you have stress, and you have it in such a degree that you probably could get long term sick leave. If not yet, then definitely in the next month if you don't get some of the workload off your shoulders, which you definitely should.

I can't really give any solutions unfortunately, because I was told it would get better as soon as I caught a break. For chest pains I was told to focus on breathing in of one nostril and breathing out the other, it will make you focus on your breathing and stimulate you mentally, which might make you calm down a little.

When I was at my lowest I had to lie down 30 minutes before putting groceries away while I just cried because my chest hurt that much and because I felt like the biggest failure. I order my groceries with home delivery, so it's not that straining to just put two bags of groceries away.

So honestly - this is your body telling you to stop and catch a break. Stress just be ones worse and doesn't just go away if you don't change something. It feels like a failure, but it is not. It is self care to stop and give your body the break it clearly needs.

That is what I know. I know I need a break. My body is SCREAMING it. But I feel like I can't without being the biggest failure.

I unfortunately think it's just how it feels when you become stressed. I felt like a failure for quite some time and family telling me that stress is just "bad planning" and that some people do x just fine, so why can't I, really didn't help. It also seems to be something other stressed people think, because I ofte read or hear "well, I just need to get through x and then I will be good again" or "I can't quit, because this has worked until now."

I don't know where you live, but where I live 1 in 4 people get a stress diagnosis at some point in their life - that's quite a lot of people, and it either means there's tons of people who are failures, or it means that society has some fucked expectations for what a normal human being should be capable of doing.

So I will tell you this: you are not a failure for giving yourself a break. Going against expectations make you brave, because it's so hard to let go and put yourself first.
The situation you are in now isn't your whole life or with you for the rest of your life - your body is however with you for that amount of time, and you need to take care of it. Don't compare yourself to others eighter - life isn't a race, and the important thing is to enjoy life.

Today I regret I kept pushing on when I started showing signs of stress, and I wish I had done something about it two months earlier.