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cobain wrote:
fldksfmsldf i feel like shit
like i've felt really bad about myself the last couple of days. just generally down and extremely self criticizing. like how would anyone wanna be my friend? why would my bf wanna be with me? etc. had an awful day yesterday, ended up crying 2 times at work. not even bc of work but bc i feel down. like idk i'm just ultra sensitive n shit rn
and today is the first day off me and my bf have together for the FIRST time since we moved in together a month ago. one of us always works otherwise and we've just had like.. an hour or two when he comes home and then it's time for bed.
he just now went to some sports thingy with his friend, spontaneously. friend called and he bolted up to go and i got sad and he asked if it was ok and i told him that this is our first day off together. and he was like "but we've been with each other all day" but like.. no not really? because we've cleaned the entire apartment, done laundry, he took a long ass bath and i made food. so like. no? and he was like "i'm off on thursday" but he knows i work 12h that day. told him again. and i teared up and he said he felt like shit whereas i felt more like shit bc i don't wanna restrict him and i told him to go even tho it made me sad. he told me it'll just be an hour but i doubt it.
and he has a few days off next week and we were going to a spa together but now instead he's planning to go to germany again (he was there in the beginning of the month for a week) and that also made me sad. i told him like "what about the spa" and he said another date but liek come onnnn i work those days
idk like it's not a big deal and i'm super fucking happy with him so this isn't meant to be like.. shit talking him or whatever i just wanted to write down my feelings a bit bc i've felt like ass the last couple of days and i'm sensitive rn and idk
fldksfmsldf i feel like shit
like i've felt really bad about myself the last couple of days. just generally down and extremely self criticizing. like how would anyone wanna be my friend? why would my bf wanna be with me? etc. had an awful day yesterday, ended up crying 2 times at work. not even bc of work but bc i feel down. like idk i'm just ultra sensitive n shit rn
and today is the first day off me and my bf have together for the FIRST time since we moved in together a month ago. one of us always works otherwise and we've just had like.. an hour or two when he comes home and then it's time for bed.
he just now went to some sports thingy with his friend, spontaneously. friend called and he bolted up to go and i got sad and he asked if it was ok and i told him that this is our first day off together. and he was like "but we've been with each other all day" but like.. no not really? because we've cleaned the entire apartment, done laundry, he took a long ass bath and i made food. so like. no? and he was like "i'm off on thursday" but he knows i work 12h that day. told him again. and i teared up and he said he felt like shit whereas i felt more like shit bc i don't wanna restrict him and i told him to go even tho it made me sad. he told me it'll just be an hour but i doubt it.
and he has a few days off next week and we were going to a spa together but now instead he's planning to go to germany again (he was there in the beginning of the month for a week) and that also made me sad. i told him like "what about the spa" and he said another date but liek come onnnn i work those days
idk like it's not a big deal and i'm super fucking happy with him so this isn't meant to be like.. shit talking him or whatever i just wanted to write down my feelings a bit bc i've felt like ass the last couple of days and i'm sensitive rn and idk
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