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bee wrote:
my brain is stupid. i cant get him out of my head. every. single. night. when i cant sleep. thoughts of him are poisoning my brain. thinking of the memories we had together. the memories that could have been. stupid pointless conversations with him in an attempt to fill out a void of loneliness. every time i catch myself thinking about him i quickly try to guide my thoughts onto something else. and somehow he comes back into my mind without im even noticing it. when it gets dark outside he wont leave me alone
and its funny cus it wasnt a perfect fairytale like my brain is telling me it was. i didnt like the way he made me overthink every little thing, or the fact that he made me want to change my entire wardrobe to match his style. i didnt like the fact that he took drugs or that he got so shitfaced drunk in paris that he woke up on the sidewalk with a hospital bracelet having no idea what had happened. my mind tries to erase and justify the things i didnt like. because i liked that he made me happy in a time where i really needed happiness. that is all that matters. and i cant stop thinking about him because i long for more happiness. i know no real happiness anywhere else but him. its terrible
i absolutely know i should drop it but i cant help but to hope he will sometime in the future bring me happiness again. i really want that happiness
so as loverboy e.p. once sang, its midnight and i miss you
my brain is stupid. i cant get him out of my head. every. single. night. when i cant sleep. thoughts of him are poisoning my brain. thinking of the memories we had together. the memories that could have been. stupid pointless conversations with him in an attempt to fill out a void of loneliness. every time i catch myself thinking about him i quickly try to guide my thoughts onto something else. and somehow he comes back into my mind without im even noticing it. when it gets dark outside he wont leave me alone
and its funny cus it wasnt a perfect fairytale like my brain is telling me it was. i didnt like the way he made me overthink every little thing, or the fact that he made me want to change my entire wardrobe to match his style. i didnt like the fact that he took drugs or that he got so shitfaced drunk in paris that he woke up on the sidewalk with a hospital bracelet having no idea what had happened. my mind tries to erase and justify the things i didnt like. because i liked that he made me happy in a time where i really needed happiness. that is all that matters. and i cant stop thinking about him because i long for more happiness. i know no real happiness anywhere else but him. its terrible
i absolutely know i should drop it but i cant help but to hope he will sometime in the future bring me happiness again. i really want that happiness
so as loverboy e.p. once sang, its midnight and i miss you
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