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being friends with an ex
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
He keeps talking about how he wants me in his life but he's not sure how. That he has to land and figure things out. And everytime we talk he talks about how he has doubts about us.

Like I 100% get he needs to figure this situation out and go from seeing us as romantic partners to friends. But this situation just feels heavy. Must we talk about it everytime? I don't want to have any type of friend that only talks about doubts about us every single time we speak. 

Especially when I ask what type of doubts (since he brought it up) and he's just like "you know... doubts".

Trying to give him some time to sort out his thoughts and start seeing us as only friends. I get that he's not sure about the situation but I don't need to hear about it all the time. Especially when he doesn't want to explain and keeps being vague. Clearly he wants to talk about it or he wouldn't bring it up all the time. But whenever I try to talk about it with him I just get shut down.

Is it even possible to be friends with an ex? and what is it he wants me to do or say? I don't get it
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 11-10-2022 17:16
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
like does he want me to keep asking what he means?? or is he hinting at something?? i have no idea
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 11-10-2022 17:54
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Rhaella wrote:
Give each other time and keep some distance. 
12
Posts: 2222
Date: 11-10-2022 18:00
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
Rhaella wrote:
Give each other time and keep some distance. 
I'm not going to not answer if he calls me
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 11-10-2022 18:03
Private
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Rhaella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Rhaella wrote:
Give each other time and keep some distance. 
I'm not going to not answer if he calls me
That was not what I meant. I'd suggest you tell him what you wrote in your first post, then tell him that you need to give each other some time and distance, and like idk, talk or see each other less for a while. Until he figures himself out and is ready to talk.
12
Posts: 2222
Date: 11-10-2022 18:06
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
Rhaella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Rhaella wrote:
Give each other time and keep some distance. 
I'm not going to not answer if he calls me
That was not what I meant. I'd suggest you tell him what you wrote in your first post, then tell him that you need to give each other some time and distance, and like idk, talk or see each other less for a while. Until he figures himself out and is ready to talk.
we are talking less and I am mostly letting him be the one to decide when he wants to talk. There is no problem from my end and I know what I want. He is the one calling me and talking about these things.
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 11-10-2022 18:10
Private
International Star



Rhaella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Rhaella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
I'm not going to not answer if he calls me
That was not what I meant. I'd suggest you tell him what you wrote in your first post, then tell him that you need to give each other some time and distance, and like idk, talk or see each other less for a while. Until he figures himself out and is ready to talk.
we are talking less and I am mostly letting him be the one to decide when he wants to talk. There is no problem from my end and I know what I want. He is the one calling me and talking about these things.
Okay, then tell him he should probs take some time to himself to figure out his thoughts, after which you could properly talk about what ever is on his mind.
12
Posts: 2222
Date: 11-10-2022 18:17
Private
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Rouya wrote:
thats why i said go no contact until the dust settles, otherwise hes gonna keep bringing this up bc it isnt a friendship rn its just an ended romantic relationship
22
Posts: 9162
Date: 11-10-2022 18:21
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
At this point I do think the best is to not talk for a while. I just wish we were on the same page. I don't get why he's acting this way If he wants to say something why not just say it.
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 11-10-2022 18:36
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World Famous



remains wrote:
if hes having trouble with the transition n making these weird doubt comments, it's probably the wisest to take some time n distance apart. it's rly hard to tell how things turn out once all parties have processed the change but some ppl can remain friends after being romantically involved yes
22
Posts: 40978
Date: 11-10-2022 18:38
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
bones wrote:
if hes having trouble with the transition n making these weird doubt comments, it's probably the wisest to take some time n distance apart. it's rly hard to tell how things turn out once all parties have processed the change but some ppl can remain friends after being romantically involved yes
sad but true
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 11-10-2022 18:46
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World Famous



DEITY wrote:
its very possible to be friends with an ex but it takes time and work
21
Posts: 22397
Date: 11-10-2022 19:17
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Living Legend



Kofod wrote:
Being friends with an ex isn't impossible, but sometimes it's very difficult especially so soon after the break up.
I had to distance myself from my ex for a while after we broke of, because he was like your ex is right now.
Sure not answering his calls etc might not be the answer, but you should tell him that you need some room or that you don't wish to discuss the subject everytime you talk, he needs to figure it out on his own as well after all.
19
Posts: 53577
Date: 11-10-2022 19:44
Private
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ouch wrote:
Yes its possible but he seems stupid so idk why u wanna b friends with him anyway
16
Posts: 95522
Date: 11-10-2022 19:54
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
Kofod wrote:
Being friends with an ex isn't impossible, but sometimes it's very difficult especially so soon after the break up.
I had to distance myself from my ex for a while after we broke of, because he was like your ex is right now.
Sure not answering his calls etc might not be the answer, but you should tell him that you need some room or that you don't wish to discuss the subject everytime you talk, he needs to figure it out on his own as well after all.
thanks for your reply
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 11-10-2022 20:05
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
ouch wrote:
Yes its possible but he seems stupid so idk why u wanna b friends with him anyway
I don't think he's stupid
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 11-10-2022 20:05
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