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TW SUICIDE
Cult
Streetmusician



cult wrote:
Im back but only to get advice

so backstory, this fall and summer was an absolute hell to me. 3 of my 4 siblings either attempted or wanted to kill themselves. My older sister was the worst and attempted all the time, at my apartment while i wasn't able to look after her, at her apartment and a few times by the trains. At the same time my mom became an alcoholic and let me know i have full responsibility of my sister since she was tired of her

at this time 2 of my siblings got into a really bad situation with the law and both got criminal offences. They've never been close to it before so it was a crazy time. My brother tried to commit.

the main reason for my sister was that her bf broke up with her (he got schizofrenic and thought she was a witch) this really fucked with her. her bf had made her take out a loan for $40k which he was supposed to pay back within 2 months. It's been 2 years now and that also fucked with her. 

when she tried to commit she moved in with me and my boyfriend. Me having to balance working full time (at a TOXIC job)  studying my last year at uni, looking after my brothers and making sure my sister didn't commit while I was away was the worst thing.

i ended up having to be on sick leave by doctors demand, get on depresso pills and some more. 

since then I have switched city and job, my siblings have moved to a different country WITH her schizofrenic bf. Though I'm still not restored and am taking medication it's been ok. 

well now 2 of my siblings have moved back home. My sister is depressed and wanting to commit again. she's moving back home on friday without her bf. She has nowhere to live and will most likely live with me and my boyfriend.

I'm completely stressed out I hate making it about me when my sister is so bad but I don't know how i can handle this responsibility once again I feel so helpless and so so tired of my life I can't do this again

So sorry for the long text im so stressed out
15
Posts: 10004
Date: 25-10-2022 20:55
Private
Minister of Pop



Arthema wrote:
I really think that this is not helping her,
she needs real professional help and yes, she is your sister, and you can be there for her and support her, but not at the expense of YOUR already bad mental state.

If I've learned anything in this life, is that you can't help too much the ones you love if you can't help yourself properly.

She needs to be admitted and get professional help, you deserve help as well and to focus on yourself.
17
Posts: 37242
Date: 25-10-2022 21:14
Alihanakeparaui
Streetmusician



Alihanakeparaui wrote:
Abby wrote:
I really think that this is not helping her,
she needs real professional help and yes, she is your sister, and you can be there for her and support her, but not at the expense of YOUR already bad mental state.

If I've learned anything in this life, is that you can't help too much the ones you love if you can't help yourself properly.

She needs to be admitted and get professional help, you deserve help as well and to focus on yourself.
^ this. you cannot save someone if you're also drowning; at this rate you'll just become catalysts for each others' pain. both of you need to be seeing a therapist/psychiatrist regularly after this ordeal.
5
Posts: 6
Date: 25-10-2022 21:23
Private
Popstar



Rouya wrote:
yeah she needs professional help, this isnt something that should be solely your responsibility
22
Posts: 9159
Date: 25-10-2022 21:28
Private
Popstar



Rouya wrote:
also im sorry youre going through this
22
Posts: 9159
Date: 25-10-2022 21:28
Private
Minister of Pop



Arthema wrote:
Alihanakeparaui wrote:
Abby wrote:
I really think that this is not helping her,
she needs real professional help and yes, she is your sister, and you can be there for her and support her, but not at the expense of YOUR already bad mental state.

If I've learned anything in this life, is that you can't help too much the ones you love if you can't help yourself properly.

She needs to be admitted and get professional help, you deserve help as well and to focus on yourself.
^ this. you cannot save someone if you're also drowning; at this rate you'll just become catalysts for each others' pain. both of you need to be seeing a therapist/psychiatrist regularly after this ordeal.
^^^
a sentence my friend have shared with me this week actually was like about romantic relationships ye?
but the sentence is something like

when someone uses you as a floatie to survive in deep waters, you  can't save em by letting them float solely on you, because you'll drown with them, you teach them how to swim or guide them towards learning that, because for it to be healthy both of you need to know how to swim

and I think it applies here as well
17
Posts: 37242
Date: 25-10-2022 21:30
Private
Minister of Pop



Arthema wrote:
you should not be alone with this, I know the struggle and I'm so so sorry you had to and still have to go through it all.
17
Posts: 37242
Date: 25-10-2022 21:30
Private
Popstar



autism wrote:
psych ward
19
Posts: 43995
Date: 25-10-2022 22:05
Cult
Streetmusician



cult wrote:
Abby wrote:
I really think that this is not helping her,
she needs real professional help and yes, she is your sister, and you can be there for her and support her, but not at the expense of YOUR already bad mental state.

If I've learned anything in this life, is that you can't help too much the ones you love if you can't help yourself properly.

She needs to be admitted and get professional help, you deserve help as well and to focus on yourself.
She was admitted to psychward but they don't have spots for her and got her into a mental hospital where people talked to walls and was really not there. Since she was at a high security one she was locked in a room all day alone so it wasn't good for her at all she was worse when she came home
15
Posts: 10004
Date: 25-10-2022 22:26
Cult
Streetmusician



cult wrote:
Alihanakeparaui wrote:
Abby wrote:
I really think that this is not helping her,
she needs real professional help and yes, she is your sister, and you can be there for her and support her, but not at the expense of YOUR already bad mental state.

If I've learned anything in this life, is that you can't help too much the ones you love if you can't help yourself properly.

She needs to be admitted and get professional help, you deserve help as well and to focus on yourself.
^ this. you cannot save someone if you're also drowning; at this rate you'll just become catalysts for each others' pain. both of you need to be seeing a therapist/psychiatrist regularly after this ordeal.
Yeah it's true. When she comes I should make it an ultimatum that she has to go see one
15
Posts: 10004
Date: 25-10-2022 22:31
Private
Minister of Pop



Arthema wrote:
cult wrote:
Abby wrote:
I really think that this is not helping her,
she needs real professional help and yes, she is your sister, and you can be there for her and support her, but not at the expense of YOUR already bad mental state.

If I've learned anything in this life, is that you can't help too much the ones you love if you can't help yourself properly.

She needs to be admitted and get professional help, you deserve help as well and to focus on yourself.
She was admitted to psychward but they don't have spots for her and got her into a mental hospital where people talked to walls and was really not there. Since she was at a high security one she was locked in a room all day alone so it wasn't good for her at all she was worse when she came home
start with a psychiatrist, psychologist, a professional because you're not it, in terms of being licensed and actually knowing how it works and what to do, and well, a person that's close to you, not a good idea to do this for them even if you were licensed

if that doesn't work, or she refuses to elaborate, as much as I hate those wards, you can't do this by yourself, a person has to decide they wanna get better, and we can't save everyone we meet along the way
17
Posts: 37242
Date: 25-10-2022 22:43
Alihanakeparaui
Streetmusician



Alihanakeparaui wrote:
cult wrote:Yeah it's true. When she comes I should make it an ultimatum that she has to go see one
i think that sounds fine. be gentle, but make yourself absolutely clear that you are not messing around. a lot of mentally ill people do not want help, myself included, and would rather stay sick. i can attest that life is so much better with a licensed professional.
5
Posts: 6
Date: 25-10-2022 22:43
Private
Minister of Pop



Arthema wrote:
Alihanakeparaui wrote:
cult wrote:Yeah it's true. When she comes I should make it an ultimatum that she has to go see one
i think that sounds fine. be gentle, but make yourself absolutely clear that you are not messing around. a lot of mentally ill people do not want help, myself included, and would rather stay sick. i can attest that life is so much better with a licensed professional.
this is so fucking true lmao
I felt called out but it is good, clear enough but not harsh is a good way to go
when I had a psychologist for like a few months waiting for a permanent one is was not a miracle that happened but it helped me stay more stable
17
Posts: 37242
Date: 25-10-2022 22:46
Alihanakeparaui
Streetmusician



Alihanakeparaui wrote:
Abby wrote:this is so fucking true lmao
I felt called out but it is good, clear enough but not harsh is a good way to go
when I had a psychologist for like a few months waiting for a permanent one is was not a miracle that happened but it helped me stay more stable
well, yes, it doesn't help overnight. i've been seeing mine for years, same lady since i was 12. we've gotten to know one another quite well, and having that safe place to go has been incredibly valuable to me.
5
Posts: 6
Date: 25-10-2022 22:49
Private
Minister of Pop



Arthema wrote:
Alihanakeparaui wrote:
Abby wrote:this is so fucking true lmao
I felt called out but it is good, clear enough but not harsh is a good way to go
when I had a psychologist for like a few months waiting for a permanent one is was not a miracle that happened but it helped me stay more stable
well, yes, it doesn't help overnight. i've been seeing mine for years, same lady since i was 12. we've gotten to know one another quite well, and having that safe place to go has been incredibly valuable to me.
oh ofc it doesn't lmao
but it's like
the little things you know? small baby steps
17
Posts: 37242
Date: 25-10-2022 23:03
Alihanakeparaui
Streetmusician



Alihanakeparaui wrote:
Abby wrote:oh ofc it doesn't lmao
but it's like
the little things you know? small baby steps

ohh i see what you mean. i absolutely agree :')
5
Posts: 6
Date: 25-10-2022 23:05
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