Forum

bee wrote:
my grandmother passed in 2018 and whenever i think about her, its like shes still here and alive, sitting in her house on her usual chair with the radio on. why would she be anywhere else? im not sure that feeling will ever go away. she was old and it was her time, so it wasnt tragic, but still very very sad 
on the day she died i sat down and wrote her a letter. telling her all the things i wanted to say when she was alive, but never did. and just thanked her for being an important part of my life. at her funeral i put the letter on the casket and she was buries with it. it helped me with the grieving process a lot and i can really recommend it. write a letter to your grandmother, tell her everything, put it on her grave or throw it in the sea or burn it or hide it in the woods, whatever feels right to you

i still see my grandmother in my dreams often, mostly good dreams, but bad dreams occur too. i just appreciate that shes still affecting my life in a way 

i wish the best for you <3 

Infinitevoid wrote:
Just need to accept that they’re gone and life goes on
Shouldn’t grief anyones passing too much since only person who you can truly trust to stay with you your entire life is you

Eostre wrote:
I honestly listened to the "dealing with grief" series on Calm, and just let myself feel what I need to feel when I needed to feel it without trying to push it down. Crying is a normal response to losing someone you love, and it's probably going to take a while for it to hurt less. It "hits" people a different times, and how we grieve is individual. There are stages of grief that most people go through, and back and forth between before we finally reach acceptance or "loss adjustment" and are able to move on from it in a positive way. But most of all, grief to me mirrors the love we had and still have for them, and I think that's a good thing in all of it. To know you've had the honor of having someone so valuable to you in your life, and now you face the other side of loving that deeply. Whatever you are feeling, feel it.


I lost my aunt and grandma during 2020-21, and I especially struggle with younger losses. I find it easier to let my grandparents go because I know they have lived a long life, and it is their time to go than my aunt, who we had to let die after surgery. There's still a lot that reminds me of my aunt, and there were many ways in which we were similar which keeps reminding me of her every now and then and brings tears to my eyes. It feels more unfair; it was unexpected; we had plans for the future together. There are many layers to mourn of things that can no longer happen.

Angelica wrote:
I think the most important thing is to let yourself grief, how every u feel you need to grief. And as Eostre said what ever you are feeling, don't be afraid to feel it. 

When my great grandparent died, i cried a lot, I told people around me how I felt and that I didn't have the energy, which i think helped a lot in me being able to just exist for awhile. I still cry for her when I think about her, but it has gone from "Omg it hurts" to "I miss this amazing person and i treasure the time i had with her so much" 

Also want to note that you are not wrong for not crying, you might not cry at all and you might cry later on the process.. Both are okay! 

Sylvan wrote:
I wasn't really close with my grandparents. I saw them several times a week but I was never close. 

Homoerectus wrote:
I am so sorry for your loss - losing a loved one is the worst pain you can possibly go through so I really feel for you as I know that feeling all too well.

We all grieve in our own way and process loss in our own ways - so whether you have cried or not is nothing to be concerned about - you are just mourning in your own way and that's OK. 

I am a firm believer that passed loved ones come to you in dreams and can still communicate with you - you'll probably have a lot more of that and the dreams will probably be more lucid as they go along. 

There's no real way to 'deal with' the passing of someone you love, because the reality is that you will never get over it, you'll just learn to live with it. 

Kofod wrote:
Losing a close family member is never easy, and sometimes strange things happens close before or after they passed. As if you subconsciousness just know.

I've lost plenty of close family members, every time I've dealt with it the same way, by not dealing with it. And every time (the past couple of years at least) I've reacted differently.
There's no right or wrong way to deal with it, some grieve a lot while others never really do.