is it always about being insecure? - Forum

Private
National star

Wenka wrote:
friend of mine had this vent how his guy friends always starts ignoring her once they get partner.
Then other person (ex friend of mine who started hating me because I didn't go our friends birthday because I was socially tired and that my reason to not come wasn't enough good to them) anyway so my ex friend was like: "Insecure gf or smth"
it's possible her guy friends never told their partner about her.

But the thing is..

is it really always insecurity?
Or is it that the guys just keep their gfs their priority?

Also is it really ALWAYS bad being little bit insecure anyway?

i'm tired of hearing "their just insecure" every fucking time and yes this sounds like something I would have when I was at 7grade.

simple way I hate it that it's always just "she just insecure" :/

edit: trying to fix typos but I just woke up help

Private
World famous

Evey wrote:
if they think it's because of the girlfriends insecurity, it can just as well be about the fact that the girl would have reasons to feel insecure if the guy kept living on like before, so the guy knows what he needs to do to have a healthy, loyal and chill relationship - because the intentions with the girl-friend was not purely platonical and would never turn out to be just that either. you can't really know. hope i'm making sense

also, being insecure towards your partner when you are under the age of like, 25, feels pretty normal. i wouldn't say it's necessarily bad but it sure takes a lot of energy to be insecure. on the other hand, might just be the effect of really loving and caring for someone (and maybe for the first time). balance is the best though. not too much, not too little

Private
World famous

Evey wrote:
the "she's just insecure" excuse might just as well be your ex-friends way of coping with being left behind by someone she thought was her friend.

but also, it sure does feel lame to be left behind out of nowhere when the friend doesn't acknowledge it either.

the long friendships who survive through shit are the ones where you can say "i know i have been absent recently, i have been in a bubble since i got together with X for sure... i'm sorry about that. i'll do my best so that we can meet more often again, when are you free next time?" or something along those lines

Private
National star

Wenka wrote:

Evey wrote:
the "she's just insecure" excuse might just as well be your ex-friends way of coping with being left behind by someone she thought was her friend.

but also, it sure does feel lame to be left behind out of nowhere when the friend doesn't acknowledge it either.

the long friendships who survive through shit are the ones where you can say "i know i have been absent recently, i have been in a bubble since i got together with X for sure... i'm sorry about that. i'll do my best so that we can meet more often again, when are you free next time?" or something along those lines

it makes sense and I understand if it's her way to cope with it.
I guess just to me it feels bit rude to judge the gf automatic way as "insecure controlling way"

Private
World famous

Evey wrote:

Wenka wrote:

Evey wrote:
the "she's just insecure" excuse might just as well be your ex-friends way of coping with being left behind by someone she thought was her friend.

but also, it sure does feel lame to be left behind out of nowhere when the friend doesn't acknowledge it either.

the long friendships who survive through shit are the ones where you can say "i know i have been absent recently, i have been in a bubble since i got together with X for sure... i'm sorry about that. i'll do my best so that we can meet more often again, when are you free next time?" or something along those lines

it makes sense and I understand if it's her way to cope with it.
I guess just to me it feels bit rude to judge the gf automatic way as "insecure controlling way"

yes it's not a nice or reasonable response at all