crush rant or something i guess? - Forum

Desole
World Famous

desole wrote:
this feels scary and i don't really know why. There is this guy that I have been talking to and also seeing for a short while now, let's just say we both have a mutual "crush" (euw hate that word but anyway). So we have been talking like literally 24/7 and a few days ago or maybe it's like a week or so ago he started to "ignore" me and idk if it was because he simply just did not want to talk or anything. But then we started talking like usual again but I can kinda sense that something is off u know? I don't mind if he do not feel anything for me anymore but it would be nice if he would tell me if that was/is the case. I know I should probably just ask him about all of this but idk it feels awkward to do so when he is not obligated to tell me if he do or do not have a "crush" on me anymore?!?

He told me he liked me and I did the same to him, but since he has drug problems, sorry i don't really know if we are allowed to talk about that or not? I told him that for now I would not want anything serious with him, he said it was fine and all but idk.

Look this is mostly just for me to be able to write it all out instead of having this in my head 24/7, if you do have any tips on what I should do please feel free to tell me. Most of the people I know think I should drop this guy but that is easier said then done tbh

Private
Popstar

disposable wrote:
could you perhaps ask him about those days he didn't talk to you and why? but maybe it's because you've told him you don't want anything serious, and he's not thinking about your relationship/crushsituation as something serious

but like, the easiest thing is to talk to him
and i don't know this guy but people around you tend to see things you don't. and the drug issue is bad stuff and not something you should get caught in

Desole
World Famous

desole wrote:

disposable wrote:
could you perhaps ask him about those days he didn't talk to you and why? but maybe it's because you've told him you don't want anything serious, and he's not thinking about your relationship/crushsituation as something serious

but like, the easiest thing is to talk to him
and i don't know this guy but people around you tend to see things you don't. and the drug issue is bad stuff and not something you should get caught in

we have talked about me not wanting anything serious atm and he said he felt the same way because of his drug issue, but yeah the best thing would maybe be for me to just straight up ask him about it I guess but it feels idk scary to do so.

I know it's bad and all but I feel like I atleast owe him a chance, he knows that one of my best friends have drug issues and I still hang with her, and I have also told him that two of my brothers also have problems with drugs. I hate to cut him off just because he has an addiction u know? It feels like such a shitty thing to do when the times I have been with him he has never done anything wrong and never taken any drugs around me that I have been aware off :/

Private
Popstar

disposable wrote:

desole wrote:

disposable wrote:
could you perhaps ask him about those days he didn't talk to you and why? but maybe it's because you've told him you don't want anything serious, and he's not thinking about your relationship/crushsituation as something serious

but like, the easiest thing is to talk to him
and i don't know this guy but people around you tend to see things you don't. and the drug issue is bad stuff and not something you should get caught in

we have talked about me not wanting anything serious atm and he said he felt the same way because of his drug issue, but yeah the best thing would maybe be for me to just straight up ask him about it I guess but it feels idk scary to do so.

I know it's bad and all but I feel like I atleast owe him a chance, he knows that one of my best friends have drug issues and I still hang with her, and I have also told him that two of my brothers also have problems with drugs. I hate to cut him off just because he has an addiction u know? It feels like such a shitty thing to do when the times I have been with him he has never done anything wrong and never taken any drugs around me that I have been aware off :/

i understand, tricky situation
has he told you anything about wanting to quit? like, if there is a future for the two of you. or else it seems like a waste of time for you

Desole
World Famous

desole wrote:

disposable wrote:

desole wrote:

disposable wrote:
could you perhaps ask him about those days he didn't talk to you and why? but maybe it's because you've told him you don't want anything serious, and he's not thinking about your relationship/crushsituation as something serious

but like, the easiest thing is to talk to him
and i don't know this guy but people around you tend to see things you don't. and the drug issue is bad stuff and not something you should get caught in

we have talked about me not wanting anything serious atm and he said he felt the same way because of his drug issue, but yeah the best thing would maybe be for me to just straight up ask him about it I guess but it feels idk scary to do so.

I know it's bad and all but I feel like I atleast owe him a chance, he knows that one of my best friends have drug issues and I still hang with her, and I have also told him that two of my brothers also have problems with drugs. I hate to cut him off just because he has an addiction u know? It feels like such a shitty thing to do when the times I have been with him he has never done anything wrong and never taken any drugs around me that I have been aware off :/

i understand, tricky situation
has he told you anything about wanting to quit? like, if there is a future for the two of you. or else it seems like a waste of time for you

he told me a few times that he wants to stop with the drugs, but I know how hard it can be to actually do it. But him being positive to the whole thing about quitting is a good sign I think, I just think it will be extra hard for him if his friend keeps living with him and that can make the whole quitting process harder and maybe even result in him not quitting at all

Private
National Star

awp wrote:
'drug problem' set off the time bomb in your explanation.

i understand that you two shared feelings & such but i wouldn't recommend being with someone with current or history with the consumption of drugs. (don't take it from me it's from my views and opinion.)

unless you want a good relationship with a person at least make sure the person you're talking to isn't involved with something problematic that can alter you after awhile with their nonsense, personally to me what you've said was acceptable. i've had crushes like that too & made a terrible mistake being with that person. it could be different from him, i don't know, but i really suggest reevaluating the way you feel towards someone that's misusing drugs in their lives.

1. it CAN get expensive if it's at a point that you're forced to fall under his responsibility
2. it CAN be risky to be influenced by peer pressure or constant persistence
3. it CAN alter your life with that person.
4. it CAN'T be reversed in the situation you're in unless you have individuals willingly to help you get out. (if you were introduced with the drugs by them or already into it)
so on and so forth...

any innocent woman introduced to men with addiction aren't going to remain the same anymore & it's ultimately depressing. however, again, don't take it from me it's your choice to make your life to keep going. any person is different in these circumstances & i totally agree that they can be changed but what are the chances? it was right of you to give it some time to think about your thoughts of the friendship you have with him. dealing with a person with addiction is like trying to take care of a dysfunctional child. if i were you, i'd cut ties & find someone that has a clean reputation. i can already tell that you're an amazing person that's very cautious, you don't need this man with this problem.

good luck with this situation, i apologize if my information doesn't really help but i hope you'll take some information in preparation when it comes to individuals with serious problems.