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Boytoy wrote:
For background, I have autism and terrible schizoid paranoia around strangers. I'm like always struggling with intrusive thoughts that I'm going to get kidnapped off the street, shot, assaulted, yadda yadda. Fun stuff! AND I'm chronically ill.
I was up all night after mistakenly drinking 45mg of caffeine when I can't have caffeine AT ALL because of the horrible effects it has on me. Body aches, heart palpations, terrible anxiety, nausea, bloating, and body shakes kept me from sleeping. So I was already running on empty when two people I care about very dearly took me out to eat. The restaurant was great and I had a fun time, but I definitely was losing steam fast as it was like 4 at this point. But I'm still having fun so we decide to get boba on our way home.
We arrive, and I open my door to get out. I'm already out of the car and a few feet toward the shop when this dude leans out of his car and starts yelling at me. I'm so shocked and sleepy deprived it takes me a second to understand him, but then I realize it's also because he's slurring. He tells me I hit his car with the door. I blubber an apology after a few moments of deer-in-headlights shock while my brain fights to even understand wtf he's trying to say to me. I didn't feel the car door hit his car but I also am sleep deprived so he's probably right, so I then check his car and it does look like I did hit his car. But barely. There's no scratch or dent or anything, just a smear of white paint from our car that I'm able to rub off with my finger.
I tell him such but he doesn't care and he continues to yell at me saying "It's a concept" over and over again. "You shouldn't hit people's cars with your door". I agree but he cuts me off. At this point I'm shaking because he isn't letting me get a word in edgewise OR leave, he just keeps talking over me with the same bullshit over and over again. Mind you, this is an adult man in a car full of other adult men who were apparently just sitting there in this very tiny parking lot that isn't really meant for people to sit in for very long. He's slurring, and while I'm pretty androgynously male passing most days I am wearing a crop top that usually gets me gendered female today because it's hot and I'm in the southern United States. I'm in the southern United states. He could have a gun, I keep thinking. I am already highly at risk as someone perceived as female. But I'm even more highly at risk if he realizes I'm trans. Or queer. Or any number of other things I may be that he could disagree with.
At this point the others in my group are chiming in and telling him it was an accident, but it's fixed and there's no damage to his car. They are trying to get me out of there and just go to the boba shop but he just won't let us go. He keeps ranting and I'm speechless because what the fuck else does he want me to do?? Spit shine his car??? Grovel at his feet and beg for forgiveness? I already rubbed the paint off. We keep telling him we are sorry and that I will try to be more careful in the future and it was an accident, but eventually, we just have to walk away because he isn't listening or just doesn't care. He just wanted to yell.
I end up crying in the boba shop because it startled me so bad (cringe) and I can see him staring at us through the glass windows of the shop we're in. After ten minutes he finally drives away. Ultimately, it doesn't matter and I won't care about this tomorrow, but I still feel rattled and on edge even after 4 hours.
For background, I have autism and terrible schizoid paranoia around strangers. I'm like always struggling with intrusive thoughts that I'm going to get kidnapped off the street, shot, assaulted, yadda yadda. Fun stuff! AND I'm chronically ill.
I was up all night after mistakenly drinking 45mg of caffeine when I can't have caffeine AT ALL because of the horrible effects it has on me. Body aches, heart palpations, terrible anxiety, nausea, bloating, and body shakes kept me from sleeping. So I was already running on empty when two people I care about very dearly took me out to eat. The restaurant was great and I had a fun time, but I definitely was losing steam fast as it was like 4 at this point. But I'm still having fun so we decide to get boba on our way home.
We arrive, and I open my door to get out. I'm already out of the car and a few feet toward the shop when this dude leans out of his car and starts yelling at me. I'm so shocked and sleepy deprived it takes me a second to understand him, but then I realize it's also because he's slurring. He tells me I hit his car with the door. I blubber an apology after a few moments of deer-in-headlights shock while my brain fights to even understand wtf he's trying to say to me. I didn't feel the car door hit his car but I also am sleep deprived so he's probably right, so I then check his car and it does look like I did hit his car. But barely. There's no scratch or dent or anything, just a smear of white paint from our car that I'm able to rub off with my finger.
I tell him such but he doesn't care and he continues to yell at me saying "It's a concept" over and over again. "You shouldn't hit people's cars with your door". I agree but he cuts me off. At this point I'm shaking because he isn't letting me get a word in edgewise OR leave, he just keeps talking over me with the same bullshit over and over again. Mind you, this is an adult man in a car full of other adult men who were apparently just sitting there in this very tiny parking lot that isn't really meant for people to sit in for very long. He's slurring, and while I'm pretty androgynously male passing most days I am wearing a crop top that usually gets me gendered female today because it's hot and I'm in the southern United States. I'm in the southern United states. He could have a gun, I keep thinking. I am already highly at risk as someone perceived as female. But I'm even more highly at risk if he realizes I'm trans. Or queer. Or any number of other things I may be that he could disagree with.
At this point the others in my group are chiming in and telling him it was an accident, but it's fixed and there's no damage to his car. They are trying to get me out of there and just go to the boba shop but he just won't let us go. He keeps ranting and I'm speechless because what the fuck else does he want me to do?? Spit shine his car??? Grovel at his feet and beg for forgiveness? I already rubbed the paint off. We keep telling him we are sorry and that I will try to be more careful in the future and it was an accident, but eventually, we just have to walk away because he isn't listening or just doesn't care. He just wanted to yell.
I end up crying in the boba shop because it startled me so bad (cringe) and I can see him staring at us through the glass windows of the shop we're in. After ten minutes he finally drives away. Ultimately, it doesn't matter and I won't care about this tomorrow, but I still feel rattled and on edge even after 4 hours.
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