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I know its setting me back writing this, I know I'm digging up old graves, but I just want to say I'm better now. I'm not who I was before, and I'm not going to let ghosts haunt. I embrace my past and everything with it. its helped me mature and wisen. you don't see a lot of 14 year old girls with knowledge like me. during the start of the year, I was an absolute shit show. diagnosed with MDD, ADHD, and ODD.
I opened the door to my own destruction, I craved a wild fire to comfort the emptiness in my own heart. I used boys as a distraction from my living situation. I had a lust for my own downfall. I used drugs, sex, partying, all as a form of escapism. I never enjoyed any of it. I just enjoyed the validity and the emotions that came with it. But there comes a point, a point where you cant just hide shit under the rug. You need to face it in order to truly get better.
I fucked my life up. But I'm not holding that over my head. I've turned the tables. Im sober, celibate, and surrounding myself with people who inspire me and uplift. Im not in the same circle that finds fun in "young and turntness," Ive began to start getting more in tune with my inner self, healing shadows, gaining self respect, all that sort of stuff. I've been getting more into literature, writing, and philosophy, ( you can read some of my poems on Instagram, which will be linked down below ) and I'm forgiving myself and my traumas.
Im writing this to show all of you that it gets better. I got better. And I thank all of you for calling me out on my bullshit before anything really truly happened all those years ago. You were all just worried.
@atruedivinity
I know its setting me back writing this, I know I'm digging up old graves, but I just want to say I'm better now. I'm not who I was before, and I'm not going to let ghosts haunt. I embrace my past and everything with it. its helped me mature and wisen. you don't see a lot of 14 year old girls with knowledge like me. during the start of the year, I was an absolute shit show. diagnosed with MDD, ADHD, and ODD.
I opened the door to my own destruction, I craved a wild fire to comfort the emptiness in my own heart. I used boys as a distraction from my living situation. I had a lust for my own downfall. I used drugs, sex, partying, all as a form of escapism. I never enjoyed any of it. I just enjoyed the validity and the emotions that came with it. But there comes a point, a point where you cant just hide shit under the rug. You need to face it in order to truly get better.
I fucked my life up. But I'm not holding that over my head. I've turned the tables. Im sober, celibate, and surrounding myself with people who inspire me and uplift. Im not in the same circle that finds fun in "young and turntness," Ive began to start getting more in tune with my inner self, healing shadows, gaining self respect, all that sort of stuff. I've been getting more into literature, writing, and philosophy, ( you can read some of my poems on Instagram, which will be linked down below ) and I'm forgiving myself and my traumas.
Im writing this to show all of you that it gets better. I got better. And I thank all of you for calling me out on my bullshit before anything really truly happened all those years ago. You were all just worried.
@atruedivinity
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