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am i in the wrong
Doll
International Star



Doll wrote:
for getting upset when my bf just goes to sleep without solving things when we argue because in his words "he said what he had to say he can't do anything more" 
12
Posts: 246
Date: 12-05-2026 20:35
Doll
International Star



Doll wrote:
sorry for posting my rs stuff here i just like getting unfiltered advice from people who don't know me so they don't take my side blindly
12
Posts: 246
Date: 12-05-2026 20:36
Doll
International Star



Doll wrote:
this has happened way more than once by the way 
to be honest i do tell him "i feel like shit so just go" but like that's obviously not what i mean get the hint 
12
Posts: 246
Date: 12-05-2026 20:37
Doll
International Star



Doll wrote:
why does he just listen to the "go" part and not the "i feel like shit" part
12
Posts: 246
Date: 12-05-2026 20:37
Doll
International Star



Doll wrote:
why does he not care enough to make me feel less like shit before going 
12
Posts: 246
Date: 12-05-2026 20:38
Private
Living Legend



Kofod wrote:
Doll wrote:
this has happened way more than once by the way 
to be honest i do tell him "i feel like shit so just go" but like that's obviously not what i mean get the hint 
I can kinda understand why he then goes if this is what you say.
But if you express that you want to sort things, then it's definitely kind of a dick move from him. You both have needs and want to be heard, and that's the case in an argument more than any other time.
19
Posts: 54194
Date: 12-05-2026 20:40
Doll
International Star



Doll wrote:
Kofod wrote:
Doll wrote:
this has happened way more than once by the way 
to be honest i do tell him "i feel like shit so just go" but like that's obviously not what i mean get the hint 
I can kinda understand why he then goes if this is what you say.
But if you express that you want to sort things, then it's definitely kind of a dick move from him. You both have needs and want to be heard, and that's the case in an argument more than any other time.
i will be completely honest, when i am angry and hurt i do not say that I want to talk things out straight up because we just do not get to the point of wanting to tlak things out. it is just arguing ang arguing and him just deciding he will sleep/leave and maybe i am too needy but sometimes i want him to be the one to want to talk things out instead and not being okay with us not being okay instead of just upping and leaving 

though i will say whenever we have made up later, i have very openly told him countless of times that when he leaves like that, it makes me feel really shitty and worthless and i would really like it if he didn't do it anymore but it keeps happening :c 

i feel a little bad though, he is not really a bad guy 😖 he is still trying to do a lot of things better for me and maybe i am the problem for never finding anything as "enough" because he does treat me amazing outside of some small things like this
but he isn't really a dick, even if this seems to other people like "a dick move" 
12
Posts: 246
Date: 12-05-2026 20:58
Doll
International Star



Doll wrote:
he just told me he went to rest to calm down because he was overwhelmed too 😟 and that we will talk later when he gets off his part time job 
12
Posts: 246
Date: 12-05-2026 21:01
Doll
International Star



Doll wrote:
he tells me he can't read my mind but i can't really read his either
if he just leaves when i tell him i am doing awful without telling me he needs time to calm down, am i just supposed to assume he left because he feels bad and not because he dgaf about me if he doesn't tell me? especially when this happens as often as it does 
i feel like most of our issues would be solved if we communicated more 
i don't really know what to do 
12
Posts: 246
Date: 12-05-2026 21:04
Doll
International Star



Doll wrote:
i am probably being too harsh on him ><
12
Posts: 246
Date: 12-05-2026 21:08 | Times changed: 1
Private
Living Legend



Kofod wrote:
Doll wrote:
Kofod wrote:
Doll wrote:
this has happened way more than once by the way 
to be honest i do tell him "i feel like shit so just go" but like that's obviously not what i mean get the hint 
I can kinda understand why he then goes if this is what you say.
But if you express that you want to sort things, then it's definitely kind of a dick move from him. You both have needs and want to be heard, and that's the case in an argument more than any other time.
i will be completely honest, when i am angry and hurt i do not say that I want to talk things out straight up because we just do not get to the point of wanting to tlak things out. it is just arguing ang arguing and him just deciding he will sleep/leave and maybe i am too needy but sometimes i want him to be the one to want to talk things out instead and not being okay with us not being okay instead of just upping and leaving 

though i will say whenever we have made up later, i have very openly told him countless of times that when he leaves like that, it makes me feel really shitty and worthless and i would really like it if he didn't do it anymore but it keeps happening :c 

i feel a little bad though, he is not really a bad guy 😖 he is still trying to do a lot of things better for me and maybe i am the problem for never finding anything as "enough" because he does treat me amazing outside of some small things like this
but he isn't really a dick, even if this seems to other people like "a dick move" 
I get that, and I don't really believe in talking anything out when both are in affect. But could an option be to tell him that you want to talk later, rather than just sending him on his way, be an option?
So you still get to feel your feelings and anger, and he gets time to feel his? Then he also possible, hopefully knows that it isn't because you don't want to talk about it, it's just right here and right now.

Also because when he is also in his emotions, it might be just as hard for him to be rational as it is for you? I won't defend the moral thing of going to bed midst argument, but for some people strong emotions tire them, which could be the reason, still not cool but uuh yeah
19
Posts: 54194
Date: 12-05-2026 21:16
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