embracing sexuality vs hypersexualisation - Forum

Solar
National Star

Solar wrote:
i am v curious what ur thoughts are and ive been thinking/discussing w myself abt this for a long time

but yesterday i spoke to someone on gsm who does vr sexwork but also uses her vr persona in other spaces which are not 18+
her vr persona is super sexual with massive boobs and massive ass and no waist. if she's not in 18+ places she wears clothes that covers that but in the 18+ spaces she wears sexy clothes or nothing. i asked her why and she said; its nice to have a place where i can embrace sexuality (as in being sexual) and play out fantasies.

and on one side; good for u, enjoy. on the other side; she has costumers who perceive their sex worker with these insane features and get pleasure out of that. which upholds this situation of women in porn looking very different than women irl and setting certain expectations that irl women cannot (or should not) achieve.
besides that i feel like having access to these very unrealistic sexual bodies increase social hypersexualisation irl, i used to have v big boobs before my breast reduction and whenever summer came by i got miserable about everything i wore because everything would be perceived sexual even though i'd not wear anything revealing, but big boobs = sexual for so many ppl becauuuseee of sex workers almost always having massive boobs and the brain simply making a pattern when consuming a lot of porn for example

so im struggling w coming to a good moral conclusion about this, and am very curious abt ur thoughts. my knee jerk reaction is fuck porn and fuck unrealistic standards and fuck hypersexualisation, it shouldn't exist and is gross and should be abolished.
on the other hand, ppl like this girl should also be able to express themselves sexually if they wish to do so... waaa

Private
Princess of Pop

Arthema wrote:
I sort of think the same as you and see it the same (minus the breast reduction experience, I WISH)
But I think that while people SHOULD be able to freely enjoy expressing themselves sexually, If done in such spaces, you can be encouraging the hypertextualization that shouldn't exist.
And it is sad but we have way too many people that cannot separate between fantasies and preferences, and what's real.

I had a talk about it with 2 friends of mine as both have preferences that are unnatural, but one of them knows and has a healthy outlook on it, and can also enjoy natural and realistic features outside of games and things like VRchat, and the other one... well... one of those men that LOVES bigger ladies but that means everything big in the "right" places and rest should be "proportionate" (whatever the fuck that means) : (((
And it really boils down to how preferences are JUST that, you can still find partners and people that might not fit into those, but still be attracted to them and enjoy their features, and when you cannot disconnect the fantasies and preferences you will hypersexualize anything that remotely fits those fantasies and it will be harder on everyone, the person that is into it because go and try finding that in real life right? and try not to be consumed by it when just SEEING any feature remotely close to that, and the people that are targeted by it, like the example you gave, big boobs, big ass.

(Reminds me that one time I went on a date and the dude just straight up asked me about my chest cus porn has rotten his brain so badly he thought gravity won't affect it ...

)

Plus I've gotten to know people with certain paraphilias that are just... I am all for embracing themselves but some things border if not cross the mental threshold, and they shouldn't be embracing that because by doing so, they will be a danger either to themselves or others.
And in a way those also fit in it? it is not a danger to people in the physical sense but you can very much destroy a person's mental and confidence with that.

I used to play vrchat a lot, with a headset and without, EVEN with coverage those specific models are very VERY sexual, I saw it firsthand with 1 friend of mine that uses the same models because haha jiggle physics, and idk, I find it hard to believe that the coverage is enough if the same model is used, unless some modifications are put in place to actually cover the model in a manner that makes it normal and not jiggly, and maybe remove the modifications that make it so you can interact with the model in those manners...

I think sexual expression is good, but in moderation? And keeping in mind the spaces that you are in, to not be taken advantage of (because sadly as much as people should not have to worry about it, we have too many people that are affected by it and will dump it on you)

tapeworm
Streetmusician

tapeworm wrote:
i agree with what arthema said, honestly!

at the end of the day, i don't think it should be the woman's responsibility to have to to diminish her self expression to try and stop men from being porn brained, especially if she's a sex worker [i.e a very vulnerable member of society who has very little influence in these kinds of things anyway].

i also understand what you mean when you say "unrealistic bodies", i can picture it perfectly, been there seen that, but i will also wager this: a lot if not all of the hypersexualization of very large boobs and butts comes from the hypersexualization of black people and their bodies. i mean look at sarah baartman, the "hottentot venus". if we are going to try and dismantle this expectation of unrealistic bodies being put on women by pornography, we need to cut it by the racist objectifying root that started it all hundreds of years ago. sex workers really did not start that trend. [in fact, early sex workers in a colonialist context were almost if not exclusively black or brown, forced to use the commodification of their bodies done by white people as a means of survival, in the cases where it was consensual at all, and that is something that continues to this day]. nowdays, if a sex worker gets boob jobs or bbls or has a very busty online persona, that is because of the long history of the hypersexualization of black people's bodies. hell, i'd say current beauty trends encourage that more than a sex worker ever could on her own because they are also commodifying black people's more "desirable" features, the 'thick slim' body, big lips, etc.

Private
Youtube Star

devilcake wrote:
Thisbis a topical wouldn’t say I have many firm thoughts on because I have yet to settle on anything and also I think because it doesn’t affect me as much as a gay man, so I try to leave it up to women n try to listen

one one hand I am generally concerned about people getting more prudish and scandalized by sex, nudity and human bodies with the rise of more conservatism, on the others it’s hard to ignore the way capitalism is still very much promoting oversexualization with sex sells (because boob = click) (while also somehow censoring it all for advertisers????) we live in a very confusing time 😭

I also feel like vr sw and drawn porn is less likely to be high risk for the SW, and that sort of space existing is good in that sense, obviously could exist with out huge anime tiddies but like tapeworm says it’s not rly on the swers shoulders I feel like

idk I think big boobies/sx and big boobies/nsx should be allowed to exist and that men need to be more educated on realistic bodies and expectations if anything ig?

idk this is quite incoherent sawrey

Private
Princess of Pop

Arthema wrote:

tapeworm wrote:
i agree with what arthema said, honestly!

at the end of the day, i don't think it should be the woman's responsibility to have to to diminish her self expression to try and stop men from being porn brained, especially if she's a sex worker [i.e a very vulnerable member of society who has very little influence in these kinds of things anyway].

i also understand what you mean when you say "unrealistic bodies", i can picture it perfectly, been there seen that, but i will also wager this: a lot if not all of the hypersexualization of very large boobs and butts comes from the hypersexualization of black people and their bodies. i mean look at sarah baartman, the "hottentot venus". if we are going to try and dismantle this expectation of unrealistic bodies being put on women by pornography, we need to cut it by the racist objectifying root that started it all hundreds of years ago. sex workers really did not start that trend. [in fact, early sex workers in a colonialist context were almost if not exclusively black or brown, forced to use the commodification of their bodies done by white people as a means of survival, in the cases where it was consensual at all, and that is something that continues to this day]. nowdays, if a sex worker gets boob jobs or bbls or has a very busty online persona, that is because of the long history of the hypersexualization of black people's bodies. hell, i'd say current beauty trends encourage that more than a sex worker ever could on her own because they are also commodifying black people's more "desirable" features, the 'thick slim' body, big lips, etc.

This is such a good point

It is a harsh reminder that the root of hypertextualization lies in the hypertextualization of black people and children, and it is beyond sad and current beauty standards stem from those 2 so heavily it is horrid
What is worse is when black people have those features naturally it can generate such a negative reaction but when it is ANYONE else it it celebrated??? And how some people took those features and decided ah yes, a woman MUST have certain big features but also somehow retain more immature and childlike features on the other spectrum.

Got to LOVE white patriarchal and pedophilic influences...
Can't celebrate and enjoy shit nowadays

Solar
National Star

Solar wrote:
i love to read abt all ur thoughts on this topic

i very much agree w u arthema that preferences are definitely okay as long as they stay preferences
unfortunately i think there's a lot of ppl out there like the guy you know who's like they have to have curves in the 'right' places or have unrealistic expectations like no gravity boos lol, something that's not really attainable without getting plastic surgery or having a lot lof luck

also tapeworm u bring up such a valid good point, very important to be mindful of for sure! objectification is such a big problem in porn, the objectification of black ppl but also trans ppl or all the step-sibling stuff thats so popular *barfs*
and current beauty trends definitely have a huge impact as well, i think i agree bigger than porn does, but in a different way maybe? beauty trends are also considered by a lot of women/girls, and porn is considered more by a certain demographic i feel... but for sure both v harmful and also both for sure have underlying racism

also what u said in the beginning, i agree its wrong for anyone to have to diminish their sense of self (or just the body they exist in..) bc porn brained ppl will view them some kind of way. but i also think some parts of self expression stem from trends in porn, i'm not sure how to word this right in english but for example; when i was 18 i wanted to get into onlyfans (as in become a creator) because i loved male attention and thought it was sexy if they thought of me in a sexual way. i hadn't had sex yet but i had consumed a lot of sexual content & thought it would be fun to earn money that way. i'm so so so glad i didn't do it in the end, because WOW i was confusing what porn deemed normal with what i think actually is normal. now that i've had sex i know what its like for me and how i feel about it, to me its a vulnerable intimate thing that i wouldn't want people to think perverted about youknow??
all of this to say: i wanted to present myself to the world in a specific way, and it was my self expression, but for me it wasn't healthy at all and the reason why i wanted to express myself that way was because of the normalisation of porn

THEN AGAIN devilcake makes very good point as well with it being scary / concerning how we're kind of going backwards in sexual liberation and nudity and human bodies. i think naked bodies shouldn't be shocking and i think having sexual freedom is important and healthy. but in society i think the line between healthy sex and pornified sex is so muddled that a true healthy view on sex and nudity is very hard to achieve rn