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CrossStyxx wrote:
Sex doesn't feel the same bc you're usually more relaxed. Sorry it didn't go well! 
TMI but do you have issues with all insertion or was it this specific situation? You could have issues with the muscles that actually make it medically impossible to insert one without pain or at all.
Ask about alternatives for cervical cancer screening that doesn't involve speculums especially if you're concerned about not having access to health insurance in a year. That way you don't have to pay without insurance, you'll likely however get referred to a specialized clinic though that has the materials to offer the procedure. It'd be similar to at home screening where its just a swab being inserted or they'll use a tool that's flatter and not metal to capture images. 
Also weird suggestion if you don't usually have issue inserting things yourself you can actually request to insert the speculum yourself to see if that makes you feel more relaxed.

Chat0yant wrote:
i mean, i tried to be as relaxed as possible but i literally couldn't as soon as she started because it hurt so bad... so idk? but maybe i was tensing before n didn't know it... i did some of glade's suggestions and i liked the dr woman (first time seeing her but she was chill and explained everything), so i'm not sure what to do unless i can raise my pain tolerance or relaxing even more somehow? 

also (also tmi) did i forget to mention i am a virgin who has done nothing remotely sexual including never even trying a tampon so........... i wouldn't know the answer to that...

Chat0yant wrote:
...
will i sound like a baby if i say, that was probably the worst medical experience i've ever had? 

I literally failed, after a couple minutes of trying to get the speculum in, she was like "ok, lets be done. we can do it next year" (insert me not mentioning i might not have health insurance for a few years n so not do anything medical then... but i'm good with that more than ever now) (i also have like no risk factors besides having a cervix so i think that also is why she wasn't super worried about not getting it done)

and she was like "but if you feel ready we can try again in a month or two" and i'm thinking??? why would it be better then?? like tell me how to double my apparently awful pain tolerance and maybe but idk what's gonna change from now till then?? like, i'm sorry idk how to not tense up when it feels like ur stabbing me with an icepick...
(ps, yes, i'm pretty sure she used the smaller size...)


i had my first cavity and drilled tooth this year. i think i'd pick that over this... 

side rant: women have rights now, why does anyone choose to have sex? like, if it hurts half that much, then i think it's not for me, no thanks. I know it's supposedly "good pain" but yeah i'm not picturing that rn. idk how humanity exists, having woman parts sucks.

LexiLuvsKirby wrote:
It doesn't hurt! It shouldn't at least I promise. Only a bit the first time in my experience
I was afraid too 😔 

Bedazzled wrote:
We can do pap smear at home and it is not invasive at all. Just insert the cotton swap and done. So you will avoid a speculum. Also why is that needed for a cotton swap test? Or is there more to it then what I have experienced?

Chat0yant wrote:
i'd also be curious because a swab for abnormal cells (and maybe infection) kind of needs to be sterile? Like, i don't know what it would be like doing it yourself, but can you do it to yourself without touching the swab to any part of your body or anything outside of your cervix? Like if you touch anything besides your cervix you would contaminate the sample with other cells or pathogens and potentially ruin the test, false negative/positive, etc. that seems hard to do w/o a speculum to me...