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General < General
does anyone else feel like
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ur depression sometimes feels comfortable in a weird way. 
i mean of course it feels bad but feeling bad feels safe, comfy, like a hug somehow? like i'm only able to feel sympathy toward myself if i'm in crisis lmfao

n life normally is just so stressful and anxiety-inducing all the time, but when i'm really depressed i feel like my brain just tunes it all out. & not caring about anything and feeling like nothing matters is so so comforting

i think i only feel this way when ive been in the trenches for a while though... bc when i've been doing better and i notice myself getting depressed again that does feel scary and not comfy at all
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life when i'm less depressed is like "oh shit oh fuck i'm literaly fucked!! it's hopeless and there's no way out i'm FUCKED!! i don't know what to do!! it's so bad i can't survive this oh jesus christ!!"

n then life when i'm more depressed is like "i can't be bothered i'm gonna go back to sleep. it's fine i'll just go back to sleep n this will go away. this doesn't matter anyway. it's fine i can just [redacted] and this will go away. it's ok. it doesn't matter, let's just go back to bed."

i guess what i'm saying is if i'm depressed enough it cancels out the anxiety which feels very peaceful
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