i always wonder why i am - Forum

LexiLuvsKirby
National Star

LexiLuvsKirby wrote:
so psychologically fucked up? like i dont mean like "ooh im crazy you wouldnt last a hour in thge asyllum they raised me!!"
but i mean like legit why do i think the way i do and act the way i do when i have like 0 trauma and 0 reason to be like this

Private
International Star

meilin wrote:
for me learning more about psychology and neuroscience helped a bit but now i'm just more self-aware and still don't know how to fix it 😭

Nesta
Streetmusician

nesta wrote:

LexiLuvsKirby wrote:
so psychologically fucked up? like i dont mean like "ooh im crazy you wouldnt last a hour in thge asyllum they raised me!!"
but i mean like legit why do i think the way i do and act the way i do when i have like 0 trauma and 0 reason to be like this

do you have any examples?
also like you may have a lot of small t traumas. it's not necessarily about what happens to you, but how you digest it internally. and even then there are so many things we are nurtured into that may not even be useful to us that we don't begin questioning until we suddenly don't "fit in" as easily anymore. and some times you wonder what the fuck is wrong with you when you're living within a system that is not built to see you thriving, that only values certain evaluation processes and versions of "sucess" and sometimes the mix of all that just leaves u in a shitty place mentally -- but hopefully you have something more specific bc that's probably easier to work on

LexiLuvsKirby
National Star

LexiLuvsKirby wrote:

nesta wrote:

LexiLuvsKirby wrote:
so psychologically fucked up? like i dont mean like "ooh im crazy you wouldnt last a hour in thge asyllum they raised me!!"
but i mean like legit why do i think the way i do and act the way i do when i have like 0 trauma and 0 reason to be like this

do you have any examples?
also like you may have a lot of small t traumas. it's not necessarily about what happens to you, but how you digest it internally. and even then there are so many things we are nurtured into that may not even be useful to us that we don't begin questioning until we suddenly don't "fit in" as easily anymore. and some times you wonder what the fuck is wrong with you when you're living within a system that is not built to see you thriving, that only values certain evaluation processes and versions of "sucess" and sometimes the mix of all that just leaves u in a shitty place mentally -- but hopefully you have something more specific bc that's probably easier to work on

Im not sure if i know what u mean by examples
I mean I guess i am just an awful person for example i have psychically fought with my entire family atp
i struggle to handle emotions and i struggle to express emotions in helpful ways
i am afraid of abandonment so i constantly need reassurance that i will not be left
im also terrified that i am ugly or unattractive and feel threatened by anyone more beautiful than me

idk, i could keep going bc there is alot of shit wrong w me but i dont know where any of it came from