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has anyone ever...
Private
World Famous



got back with their ex and had it turn out good?

asking for a friend................

if it turned out bad, why?

EDIT: im just gonna copy and paste what i wrote on startalk here to give some context i suppose if anyone wants to read it..

1. "hrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmm i asked my ex to come over today to hang out and do garden stuff with me, we did, it was fun! but also we had deep talk about why i so sad and crying so much lately n now im very confused about my feelings towards her, but i feel better a little at least.."

Next Day

2. "watching videos and reading about fearful-avoidant attachment style... i am second guessing breaking up w my ex... but it wouldn't be fair to tell her that, would it?  i'm so confused i hate this"

[friend reply]

"Well... ever since we broke up i thought to myself if only we could be platonic partners that'd be amazing... and last night we talked about what our definitions of romantic love are and she said all this stuff and i was like well i don't see that stuff as romantic and that's still stuff i want to do with you and she was basically like well if we both want the same thing but just have different name for that thing, then why is there a problem... i don't know  and her saying well if we're gonna be friends then we can't do those things because i am not like that with my friends... and that made me really sad  and we figured out through talking that the problems with our relationship were just that i don't like having expectations placed on me and she's very anxious and insecure and we both had problems communicating that stuff to each other and setting boundaries... so part of me is like well if we can work on these things then maybe we can still be together and even happier than before yknow "

[friend reply]

" im not gonna lie i think i want to... but i don't want to admit it... and i feel like it's not fair for me to have put her through all that pain of breaking up just to pull her back again? and then what if it ends in a breakup again anyway?? UGHHHHH"

[friend reply]

"AHH  i am gonna go arcade with her on Monday, so if i still feel this way then i might talk to her about this after we've been"
Private
Streetmusician



Solar
National Star



i haven't so i'm afraid i can't really give you advice 
i have gone on a date again with my ex girlfriend like two years after we initially broke up? but when we were on that date i knew i didn't want to get back with her, she was really trying to convince me she changed but i didn't really see it and didn't feel invested enough to stick around and find out hhh (and i honestly don't mean that in a mean way i just felt like that chapter of my life was closed youknow?) 


i think when considering getting back with an ex it's important to remember why you broke up and if that issue is still present though 
Private
World Famous



kruspersille wrote:
i feel the same 
Teabag
World Famous



this friend of yours isnt called suchomimus...right?
Private
World Famous



Solar wrote:
i haven't so i'm afraid i can't really give you advice 
i have gone on a date again with my ex girlfriend like two years after we initially broke up? but when we were on that date i knew i didn't want to get back with her, she was really trying to convince me she changed but i didn't really see it and didn't feel invested enough to stick around and find out hhh (and i honestly don't mean that in a mean way i just felt like that chapter of my life was closed youknow?) 


i think when considering getting back with an ex it's important to remember why you broke up and if that issue is still present though 
Why did you go on the date with her can I ask? Were you hoping it'd work out?

You saw my star talk, but idk  i tend to run away/give up when i feel pressure or things get difficult, really nothing wrong happend 
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World Famous



Teabag wrote:
this friend of yours isnt called suchomimus...right?
............. of course not..... why would you think that?........
Private
Youtube Star



I think you should hold off a bit on getting back with her if this issomething you’re feeling now after hanging out again this once, it’s neither fair on her or you to go back and forth when you’re not sure, especially cos it might be you being afraid of being alone/lonely and a friend could help with that as well. Either way my advice would be to just focus on being friends at least for a bit before considering what going back with an ex might be like in general, don’t jump the gun basically
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World Famous



devilcake wrote:
I think you should hold off a bit on getting back with her if this issomething you’re feeling now after hanging out again this once, it’s neither fair on her or you to go back and forth when you’re not sure, especially cos it might be you being afraid of being alone/lonely and a friend could help with that as well. Either way my advice would be to just focus on being friends at least for a bit before considering what going back with an ex might be like in general, don’t jump the gun basically
we hung out again last night!
but i think you're right, that's what's stopping me, that i feel it's unfair... but should i let her know how i feel at least? because i don't want to bottle up my feelings, but also maybe it's not something she needs to know idk 
and im also scared that in the meantime she might find someone else and i'll have missed my chance 
Private
Youtube Star



Suchomimus wrote:
devilcake wrote:
I think you should hold off a bit on getting back with her if this issomething you’re feeling now after hanging out again this once, it’s neither fair on her or you to go back and forth when you’re not sure, especially cos it might be you being afraid of being alone/lonely and a friend could help with that as well. Either way my advice would be to just focus on being friends at least for a bit before considering what going back with an ex might be like in general, don’t jump the gun basically
we hung out again last night!
but i think you're right, that's what's stopping me, that i feel it's unfair... but should i let her know how i feel at least? because i don't want to bottle up my feelings, but also maybe it's not something she needs to know idk 
and im also scared that in the meantime she might find someone else and i'll have missed my chance 
I don’t think I’m skilled enough at social stuff to know if you should wait a little with telling her or or not my instinct is to wait at least a bit cos from what I’ve gathered you JUST started hanging out again? Idk about the attachment style stuff I just skimmed ur startalk just now cos I’m hanging out with heartbroken. But I’m somewhat similar with getting cold feet when things become a lot n feeling like very yucked out by all the pressure and emotions n shit so I get that but I also don’t see how rushing it too much would help. Obvi depends on how ur current relationship is too cos yall seem to be fine with the deep talking so maybe it’d work out well to talk about

idk my main point is just to not to rush it because I feel like that’s not gonna help figure out what you want out of a relationship, especially with how distressing breaking up was for you. 
Solar
National Star



Suchomimus wrote:
Solar wrote:
i haven't so i'm afraid i can't really give you advice 
i have gone on a date again with my ex girlfriend like two years after we initially broke up? but when we were on that date i knew i didn't want to get back with her, she was really trying to convince me she changed but i didn't really see it and didn't feel invested enough to stick around and find out hhh (and i honestly don't mean that in a mean way i just felt like that chapter of my life was closed youknow?) 


i think when considering getting back with an ex it's important to remember why you broke up and if that issue is still present though 
Why did you go on the date with her can I ask? Were you hoping it'd work out?

You saw my star talk, but idk  i tend to run away/give up when i feel pressure or things get difficult, really nothing wrong happend 
mmm she showed up at my work and bought me roses and everything so i thought i'd give it a chance, but i wouldn't say i was hoping it would work out, more so that i didn't want her effort to go to waste or something like that? 

mmhm well, what things made you feel pressured or were difficult to u? maybe that's the better question then? 
Private
Streetmusician



i just know everything u have written abt being in a relationship w her was negative n something u didnt enjoy, whats different now
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World Famous



kruspersille wrote:
i just know everything u have written abt being in a relationship w her was negative n something u didnt enjoy, whats different now
i did write down this stuff in a notebook so i could remind myself after we broke up, but i forgot and im in work right now so I'll try look later 
Private
Minister of Pop



Read that notebook pls :cry
Private
World Famous



mby u shud try being friends first and see how u feel, especially if you hung out yesterday for what i asusme is the first time since ur breakup? mby it wud work out but also iirc u were talking negatively about your relationship at the time and were made very uncomfortable? so wouldnt that be an issue again even if youre now communicating idk.. it sounded like u 2 wanted different things from a relationship...

mby what u rly want is a close friend? 
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World Famous



whydoiexist wrote:
mby u shud try being friends first and see how u feel, especially if you hung out yesterday for what i asusme is the first time since ur breakup? mby it wud work out but also iirc u were talking negatively about your relationship at the time and were made very uncomfortable? so wouldnt that be an issue again even if youre now communicating idk.. it sounded like u 2 wanted different things from a relationship...

mby what u rly want is a close friend? 
it was second time and we will hang out again on Monday
yes maybe we should 
the problem is i think my definition of a close friend is not the same as hers and i am sad about that
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