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Roleplaying < Virtual Popstar
i'd appreciate it if you could read.
Dyspathyx
Youtube star



i know this may look a little long, but it really doesn't take too much time to read, and i'd appreciate it if you would. it's a poem i wrote a fair few months ago, when i was going through a hard stage and missing my aunt who passed away 9 years ago to cancer. 
i know it's not brilliant and the verses don't all flow, with a few little mixups here and there, but opinions please? i can take constructive criticism. i didn't write it to be a work of art, i wrote it to get my feelings out and i hope that came across.

MARGARET.

when i look into the sky at night,

i look upon the stars so bright,

and the one that always catches my eye,

i know the reason, exactly why.

i know for fact that star is you,

and everything i long to do,

to make you happy, proud, of me

for chasing my heart and following my dreams.

one day i hope that i can be,

shining as bright as you are for me.

 

you were taken before i had a chance,

to make life-long memories that will last.

of course we made the one or two,

but they will never capture you,

just as well as i knew i could,

that i hoped, together, that we once would.

 

never will i forget you, or will the heartbreak end,

but i know now that forever, you'll be my best friend.

my family, my idol, my hero, my life,

to make you proud, that's what i strive.

it wasn't your time, but that's okay,

an angel was needed, in my heart you'll stay.

as long as your alive, in everyones heart,

you will never, ever, truly depart.

 

thankyou for the smiles, the presents and the trips,

and everything you did for me, including all the tips.

you made my existence happier, my time with you was spare,

despite of this, we'll meet again, when my future takes me there.

i'll be another star with you, shining oh so bright,

but for now, my dearest margaret, i see you every night.

 

i know that when i shed a tear,

in love and spirit, you'll be near.

looking down on me you'll say,

'wipe those tears, silly, 'ey?'

you'd hate for me to cry for you,

a grin on your face, nothing new.

'i'm not worth crying over, now stop.

live your life, and live it top.

for me if nothing else at all,

until all of your dreams, you can fulfill.

and as for me, just worry not,

i always loved what i had got.'

 

although our memories are few,

there is one thing i'd like to do.

i'd like to learn just how to knit,

and in the sunshine i shall sit.

knitting a scarf, a top, a hat,

because of you, that is that.

if i can knit, just for you,

we will have finished, what we set out to do.

 

you are my hero, ever strong,

a permanent smile, hiding what's wrong.

i was too young to see you sad,

how niave i was, but that's too bad.

for i know now, the hurt, the pain,

that goodbye caused me, once again.

but at least right now, up in the sky,

you will be leading a better life.

no illness, no cancers, no disease, no fight,

just the happiness that for you is right.

no hospitals, no struggle, no worries, no fear,

and i hope that you right now can hear,

just how much i love you so,

my angel, my family, my life, my hero.

WinterStark
Youtube star



(l)
Jasmine
Playback star



It's really good. :_
Lacrimosa
Karaoke star



I could feel the emotion you put into this. Pieces like it- when so much emotion is put into it- are hard to say much about. There is no real way to improve them because when you put emotion in them like you did, they end up so beautifully executed. 

I can tell it was a rough time for you, and I hope you've held up. Keep your head held high and stay strong. If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you <3
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