Forum

the essence of existing; a conversation with myself 


my identity is fluid, forever shaped by the modern society, globalization and individualization. it defines who i am and it’s the sole reason as to why i act rational. except i don’t know what part of my identity is ‘fake’ and what part of it is ‘real’. that’s why i feel the need to ask questions such as ‘who am i and what is my purpose ?’ i am influenced by the people i surround myself with, things i hear and even read. i claim to be free, yet they’re creating my identity for me. i lose my humanity in the process of merely trying to exist in a world that is controlled by validation. ‘oh, look at me, posting pictures on social media and the internet, trying to be as appealing as possible’. in reality it’s fake - i’m a fake. i want to be appealing because i seek people’s validation. i want people to invest their time in me and i’m subconsciously aware of what others think of me. 

that’s why i have to do it, that’s why i have to maintain as someone who’s picture perfect to the outside world. i can’t -we can’t- exist without recognition and validation, we’re dependent on it. always will be. we aren’t controlled by values and traditions like we used to be, we are free to create our own values as we please. we don’t know what it means to be free and we neither know what we have to do to set ourselves free. am i nothing but a soul, trapped inside a vessel that exists in a society in which we seek validation ? i wonder what the difference between vanity and seeking validation is. the lines are blurred and after all, we dress a specific way, talk to certain people and read things other wants us to read because of the way we are shaped.