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Alexys wrote:
i need some ideas and critiques. Also I need some help with transitition ideas from my last paragraph to debate. and stuff
" Being raised in an Asian household, my parents were planning my life even before I was born. I was expected to become a nurse or lawyer and to marry into a good family. I was merely a puppet in my parents’ hands. It didn’t dawn on me as a child that my parents were discriminatory to the female sex. Born female, I was expected to do the more work, while my brother was expected far less and frankly, he wasn’t expected of much at all.
In sixth grade I finally stepped out of that thought bubble, realizing that my brother was already shaped into this mindset - I was outraged at him and my parents. The more I fought back; the more pointless this topic seemed to me.
The school was my only haven, where I could escape my parents’ expectations if I kept my grades up, but it was also one of my biggest insecurities. I didn’t want to be different from everyone else; I wanted to live the life most people live. Even though my life at home was far different than most, I found myself keeping to myself, not talking to anyone else. Quiet and as shy as I was I wanted to express myself, and I found myself doing that all the wrong ways. I found myself the center attention for all the wrong reasons; I was the class clown in a way. In a way, it was almost like rebelling.
My grades were dropping, especially in ELA where I could never really put my thoughts into words. And yet I was the center of attention, and I loved the feeling. It was my sister who picked me up and helped me get back on track. I picked my grades back up, and although I was still struggling with ELA, my sister and I were content. "
i need some ideas and critiques. Also I need some help with transitition ideas from my last paragraph to debate. and stuff
" Being raised in an Asian household, my parents were planning my life even before I was born. I was expected to become a nurse or lawyer and to marry into a good family. I was merely a puppet in my parents’ hands. It didn’t dawn on me as a child that my parents were discriminatory to the female sex. Born female, I was expected to do the more work, while my brother was expected far less and frankly, he wasn’t expected of much at all.
In sixth grade I finally stepped out of that thought bubble, realizing that my brother was already shaped into this mindset - I was outraged at him and my parents. The more I fought back; the more pointless this topic seemed to me.
The school was my only haven, where I could escape my parents’ expectations if I kept my grades up, but it was also one of my biggest insecurities. I didn’t want to be different from everyone else; I wanted to live the life most people live. Even though my life at home was far different than most, I found myself keeping to myself, not talking to anyone else. Quiet and as shy as I was I wanted to express myself, and I found myself doing that all the wrong ways. I found myself the center attention for all the wrong reasons; I was the class clown in a way. In a way, it was almost like rebelling.
My grades were dropping, especially in ELA where I could never really put my thoughts into words. And yet I was the center of attention, and I loved the feeling. It was my sister who picked me up and helped me get back on track. I picked my grades back up, and although I was still struggling with ELA, my sister and I were content. "
16
ty !
