wrote:
And no, I have many times found it hard to think it's a gray area with people. I have intense hatred or lot of good feelings for someone. In therapy I train on this stuff, so it gets better with time though
And no need to say sorry! I'm more than happy to answer
scoff wrote:
When you say constant - do you mean constant? Like, say if you're in a relationship with somebody. Does it ever happen that a day goes by when you don't think that person is going to turn on you and leave you? If things are well those hours after a person have said they like you, do you still think they don't like you? The people are either good or evil thing, is that just in the moment and you can see afterwards that "hey, maybe this person did something i considered evil, but really they're not evil, they just have good and bad sides"?
Sorry for asking so much. I'm curious.
When my BPD was at it's worst (before I found medications that helped me) it really was constant. Agonizing fear. Everything else and everyone else in my life became irrelevant. If things are good, I can feel good for maybe rest of the day. But the next day it's all over again with the anxiety, because I'm super suspicious and find ''wrong'' in how their tone of voice is, how short is the reply, hos many (or little) emojis in a text, how fast they will reply etc. Those are things that will trigger my fear. If I get lots of attention I feel I can relax more.C4TH3DR4L wrote:
That's the stuff I can think of right now
Thanks. scoff wrote:
How does it manifest in you?
My moods are very unstable and unpredictable. Self harming and suicidal ideation and attempts. VERY big fear of abandonment and I have threaten to kill myself if they leave me in mere panic. I'm always on guard, and think everyone is out to hurt me and I overreact emotionally in relationships. Quite clingy and in need of valifations all the time. It's like if the ''I like you'' isn't there right in front of me it's like it doesn't exist. They can say they like me but some hours later I will queston it again, like the ''out of sight out of mind'' is a common BPD thing. Feeling empty but then depressed and then happy and then cry, all within an hour. People are either good or evil, none in between. It's the black and white thinking, idealize someone or devaluate them. Being impulsive, like doing dumb shit just to feel alike - related to the feeling of emptiness. Super sensitive emotionally and I'm just fragile. Sudden bursts of anger, and I don't deal like ''an adult'' in situations where I'm emotionally over-stimulatedHow does it manifest in you?
That's the stuff I can think of right now
When you say constant - do you mean constant? Like, say if you're in a relationship with somebody. Does it ever happen that a day goes by when you don't think that person is going to turn on you and leave you? If things are well those hours after a person have said they like you, do you still think they don't like you? The people are either good or evil thing, is that just in the moment and you can see afterwards that "hey, maybe this person did something i considered evil, but really they're not evil, they just have good and bad sides"?
Sorry for asking so much. I'm curious.
And no, I have many times found it hard to think it's a gray area with people. I have intense hatred or lot of good feelings for someone. In therapy I train on this stuff, so it gets better with time though
And no need to say sorry! I'm more than happy to answer